I Messed Up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 25
I Messed Up.
After declaring my plan of sobriety about three days ago, I drank today.
Whoopee.
I was fully set on this plan with no doubts in my mind that I could accomplish it, when I felt this overwhelming sensation to have a beer today. I felt so sick to my stomach, knowing I had already made my decision, and I felt I had no control on changing it. I texted a friend and made plans to go to a bar. Lied to my parents who I had just told I was quitting drinking, and went. And drank three beers, and a shot.
I am so depressed.
Hopefully my first AA meeting tomorrow will help me. I can't go on like this.
Whoopee.
I was fully set on this plan with no doubts in my mind that I could accomplish it, when I felt this overwhelming sensation to have a beer today. I felt so sick to my stomach, knowing I had already made my decision, and I felt I had no control on changing it. I texted a friend and made plans to go to a bar. Lied to my parents who I had just told I was quitting drinking, and went. And drank three beers, and a shot.
I am so depressed.
Hopefully my first AA meeting tomorrow will help me. I can't go on like this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Try not to be too discouraged.
I think many of us underestimate this task initially.
I thought intent would be enough - noone and nothing would break me - but I buckled many times to the idea that I could drink again.
Two things helped me - finding the right support - and learning to use it even when every cell in me wanted alcohol...and change...I needed to make some pretty big changes to my lifestyle and the way I dealt with things if I wanted to stay sober.
You can do this...you might have to tweak your recovery plan a little, thats all
D
I think many of us underestimate this task initially.
I thought intent would be enough - noone and nothing would break me - but I buckled many times to the idea that I could drink again.
Two things helped me - finding the right support - and learning to use it even when every cell in me wanted alcohol...and change...I needed to make some pretty big changes to my lifestyle and the way I dealt with things if I wanted to stay sober.
You can do this...you might have to tweak your recovery plan a little, thats all
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Remember never give up giving up.
Set goals and work out things to do when the pressures on.
Perhaps bars might not be the place to be!
Also if you didn't think there was a problem it's underlined just how tricky alcoholism can be.
Now let's celebrate day one!
John.
Set goals and work out things to do when the pressures on.
Perhaps bars might not be the place to be!
Also if you didn't think there was a problem it's underlined just how tricky alcoholism can be.
Now let's celebrate day one!
John.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Superstar, I know how you feel. I got days here and there and felt there was no hope for me. I just couldn't get sober!
One day something changed, I was tired of fighting with alcohol. I knew I'd never win, it would always beat me. I decided to fight for myself, for my life.
Day 71 today, if I can do it you can too.
Pick yourself up, Dust yourself off and get up and fight!
One day something changed, I was tired of fighting with alcohol. I knew I'd never win, it would always beat me. I decided to fight for myself, for my life.
Day 71 today, if I can do it you can too.
Pick yourself up, Dust yourself off and get up and fight!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
It wasn't until i tried to break free that i found how addicted I was. It might help to learn about urges and AVRT.
The trick is not to keep making the same mistakes- this is easier said than done.
The trick is not to keep making the same mistakes- this is easier said than done.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. For myself I needed to get honest about MY drinking and accept the fact that I can NOT drink in safety. Being undisciplined I tried too many times to handle it but alcohol proved to me to be too Powerful, cunning and baffling. I needed a program to stick with and not drink even if I wanted to.
It’s work and worth it in the long run.
BE WELL
It’s work and worth it in the long run.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by Treerat66 
Hi Super,
Can you remember what triggered you to want that drink?
Can you remember what triggered you to want that drink?
He texted me, and with that text I remembered the day that we had met. I had drank an entire bottle of vodka to myself and I was out of control. But looking back at that moment, it seemed so nice to be in that state. I was such a social butterfly and I decided I wanted to kiss him, and I did. I was just numb of every negative emotion, and it took that one text to get me drinking again
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Hamburg
Posts: 18
Superstar
I went 6 months sober, went on holiday and found it difficult to buy alcohol free needless to say I drank!
Don't beat yourself up like I did. I was depressed that I let myself down and continued drinking heavily up till yesterday which was 8 months!
I went 6 months sober, went on holiday and found it difficult to buy alcohol free needless to say I drank!
Don't beat yourself up like I did. I was depressed that I let myself down and continued drinking heavily up till yesterday which was 8 months!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
If giving up was a walk in the park, forums like this would not exist and neither would all the other recovery groups like AA or SMART.
Give yourself a break by not being too hard on yourself and trying again.
I know for me in the early days, any bad news would send me off with thoughts of drinking.
Any good, news and I needed a drink to celebrate.
I eventually realised that drink does not solve problems and it is not a reward for a bad or a really good day.
I wish you the best xx
Give yourself a break by not being too hard on yourself and trying again.
I know for me in the early days, any bad news would send me off with thoughts of drinking.
Any good, news and I needed a drink to celebrate.
I eventually realised that drink does not solve problems and it is not a reward for a bad or a really good day.
I wish you the best xx
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