The first temptation of me.....
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The first temptation of me.....
Evening all,
Thought i'd better write a post. I am having my first serious consideration to having a drink so figured it would be more cathartic to vent here.
So, darling BF of 4 years (i use the term darling very, very loosely) and I are going through a bad stage (TBF the bad stage has lasted 4 years but last year has been super)
If you can believe it the problems have absolutely nothing to do with my drinking!!!
However he is the most unbelievable selfish, inconsiderate, cold, self serving person sometimes.... but i'm aware this isn't a relationship site
He snores like s *****ng drain to the point i'm up all night tossing and turning(1 bedroom tiny flat, welcome to inner city living folks!) to the point I'm a zombie the whole time, I drag myself around and have no lust for life. I swear half the reason i drink to begin with is i don't drink coffee and its the only thing that perks me up.
So after having my fill i've gone in to sleep on the worlds most uncomfortable sofa (i did the same 3 nights ago and by mooring i was in tears from the lack of sleep from STILL being able to hear him snore, noise outside and cats walking over my head)
But, as I walked out the bedroom, he stirred and asked "where you going" i said i can't take the snoring i was going to sleep on the sofa. He said "do you want me to go?" i said "you don't have to if you don't want you're in bed" and he just rolled over and went bad to sleep
This man can sleep anywhere and through anything.
I believe men and women are equal but I am so shaking with rage. If YOU are the one with a snoring problem and REFUSE to get help, surely YOU as a MAN should take the ******g hell couch?!?!?!?!?
Anyway, this would be about the time i would grab whatever booze was in the house to
1; calm me down
2; make me feel less like my boyfriend is a jerk
3; knock me out so i can get some sleep
But i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY trying not to
He always usually pins me being angry and ****** about things like this because i'm drunk. However, i'm not drunk. not one bit.
Am I unreasonable to be angry about this?
It's amazing the comparisons one can draw between a ****** boyfriend and booze
1. Neither care if you have a good night's sleep
2. Neither care that you are going to be in pain all day tomorrow
3. Both will happily drain you of your finances
4. Both will encourage you to fall out with everyone around you
5. Both will make you feel ugly
6. Both will make you comfort eat
7. Neither one will ever leave, despite them knowing they are bad for you and that you have begged them to time and time again
8. You cling to both because they have both been in cahoots to destroy your self esteem for years
thats all i can think of now, sorry for the rant, but hey, it's stopped me wanting wine so bad. Tally ho pip pip!
xoxoxox
Thought i'd better write a post. I am having my first serious consideration to having a drink so figured it would be more cathartic to vent here.
So, darling BF of 4 years (i use the term darling very, very loosely) and I are going through a bad stage (TBF the bad stage has lasted 4 years but last year has been super)
If you can believe it the problems have absolutely nothing to do with my drinking!!!
However he is the most unbelievable selfish, inconsiderate, cold, self serving person sometimes.... but i'm aware this isn't a relationship site
He snores like s *****ng drain to the point i'm up all night tossing and turning(1 bedroom tiny flat, welcome to inner city living folks!) to the point I'm a zombie the whole time, I drag myself around and have no lust for life. I swear half the reason i drink to begin with is i don't drink coffee and its the only thing that perks me up.
So after having my fill i've gone in to sleep on the worlds most uncomfortable sofa (i did the same 3 nights ago and by mooring i was in tears from the lack of sleep from STILL being able to hear him snore, noise outside and cats walking over my head)
But, as I walked out the bedroom, he stirred and asked "where you going" i said i can't take the snoring i was going to sleep on the sofa. He said "do you want me to go?" i said "you don't have to if you don't want you're in bed" and he just rolled over and went bad to sleep
This man can sleep anywhere and through anything.
I believe men and women are equal but I am so shaking with rage. If YOU are the one with a snoring problem and REFUSE to get help, surely YOU as a MAN should take the ******g hell couch?!?!?!?!?
Anyway, this would be about the time i would grab whatever booze was in the house to
1; calm me down
2; make me feel less like my boyfriend is a jerk
3; knock me out so i can get some sleep
But i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY trying not to
He always usually pins me being angry and ****** about things like this because i'm drunk. However, i'm not drunk. not one bit.
Am I unreasonable to be angry about this?
It's amazing the comparisons one can draw between a ****** boyfriend and booze
1. Neither care if you have a good night's sleep
2. Neither care that you are going to be in pain all day tomorrow
3. Both will happily drain you of your finances
4. Both will encourage you to fall out with everyone around you
5. Both will make you feel ugly
6. Both will make you comfort eat
7. Neither one will ever leave, despite them knowing they are bad for you and that you have begged them to time and time again
8. You cling to both because they have both been in cahoots to destroy your self esteem for years
thats all i can think of now, sorry for the rant, but hey, it's stopped me wanting wine so bad. Tally ho pip pip!
xoxoxox
Last edited by Dee74; 09-04-2014 at 04:33 PM.
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I don't think you can blame your problems ( perceived problems) with alcohol on his sleeping disorder ( snoring). I want to be supportive and say I know how disruptive that can be, and I think on some level he is inconsiderate, but I want to be honest and say it sounds like you are too.
Ok, now lets talk about alcohol! Can you quit drinking, do you think that you have a problem drinking, do you think you can stop? Do you believe that your drinking is really related to his snoring? I am confused!
So sorry, maybe other here will be more helpful or understanding. I am alcoholic, my wife is alcoholic, my problems mostly revolved around alcohol in on form or another. Relationships are a two way street, both must give and freely take from the other person regardless ( qualified to give advice married 16 years and only 34) good day to you.
Ok, now lets talk about alcohol! Can you quit drinking, do you think that you have a problem drinking, do you think you can stop? Do you believe that your drinking is really related to his snoring? I am confused!
So sorry, maybe other here will be more helpful or understanding. I am alcoholic, my wife is alcoholic, my problems mostly revolved around alcohol in on form or another. Relationships are a two way street, both must give and freely take from the other person regardless ( qualified to give advice married 16 years and only 34) good day to you.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
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Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
I don't think you can blame your problems ( perceived problems) with alcohol on his sleeping disorder ( snoring). I want to be supportive and say I know how disruptive that can be, and I think on some level he is inconsiderate, but I want to be honest and say it sounds like you are too.
Ok, now lets talk about alcohol! Can you quit drinking, do you think that you have a problem drinking, do you think you can stop? Do you believe that your drinking is really related to his snoring? I am confused!
So sorry, maybe other here will be more helpful or understanding. I am alcoholic, my wife is alcoholic, my problems mostly revolved around alcohol in on form or another. Relationships are a two way street, both must give and freely take from the other person regardless ( qualified to give advice married 16 years and only 34) good day to you.
Ok, now lets talk about alcohol! Can you quit drinking, do you think that you have a problem drinking, do you think you can stop? Do you believe that your drinking is really related to his snoring? I am confused!
So sorry, maybe other here will be more helpful or understanding. I am alcoholic, my wife is alcoholic, my problems mostly revolved around alcohol in on form or another. Relationships are a two way street, both must give and freely take from the other person regardless ( qualified to give advice married 16 years and only 34) good day to you.
No i am not saying his snoring means i have drink problems no, but life is like a renoir, made of many singular brush strokes. I was given some wonderful advice today, live in the now. Right now the thing that is making me want to drink is not the snoring, i've been dealing with that for years.
Its the lack of consideration and care of MY wellbeing from my partner of my need for sleep.
He can snore all he likes but i think it rather unchivalrous to allow your female partner to suffer a sleepiness night for your condition which you refuse to seek help with when you have spent many a night on the sofa after getting in late and slept like a baby (as i say he can sleep anywhere, i'm a little more delicate)
as i also say the reason this situation is tempting me to drink is i need to knock myself out as i can't go another night waking up every 20 mins
In answer to your questions
Can you quit drinking, i believe so, thats why I'm here. thats why i'm writing this. My local shop that sells alcohol, the only one local closed at midnight. its now 8 mins past. this successfully kept me distorted beyond that.
do you think that you have a problem drinking, i do. again thats why i'm here
do you think you can stop? i do, i feel the choice i made this evening is testament to that
Do you believe that your drinking is really related to his snoring? I am confused! I have answered this above the best i can. its very late, I'm very tired, so it may be a little rambling
xoxox
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Originally Posted by TitansFreak
Back when I did drink socially..if I get lit that night my ol lady would stuff a rag in my mouth because I'd be snoring. Lmao
god i love that expression!
rag in mouth. why didn't i think of that..... lol
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Originally Posted by Low
Just to answer your question, yes, you sound a tad unreasonable about this. Good luck with it all.....
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Location: Reno, Nv
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I am so very sorry, your anolgistic statement with the Renoir painting rings so true. Please understand I didn't mean for it to be like an inquesition, although I can see it came off that way.
I wanted to let you know there is tons of support here, congradulations on not drinking. Please try to separate you, how you feel about you're partner from you. You are you he is him, in relationships we often see each other as being a part of the other person, in a way you are, but you are only as good as the weaker half and its both peoples job to strengthen that resolve. If alcohol is an issue ( for you) then you need to focus on quitting and not mind him. You can only solve the issues on your side of the fence.
Again, except my apologize, I came on a little strong and was a little confused. Best wishes to you my friend.
I wanted to let you know there is tons of support here, congradulations on not drinking. Please try to separate you, how you feel about you're partner from you. You are you he is him, in relationships we often see each other as being a part of the other person, in a way you are, but you are only as good as the weaker half and its both peoples job to strengthen that resolve. If alcohol is an issue ( for you) then you need to focus on quitting and not mind him. You can only solve the issues on your side of the fence.
Again, except my apologize, I came on a little strong and was a little confused. Best wishes to you my friend.
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight
Nice post, if posting keeps you Sober, then posting is definitely the way forward!!
Hang in there and keep pushing through!!
Hang in there and keep pushing through!!
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Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
I am so very sorry, your anolgistic statement with the Renoir painting rings so true. Please understand I didn't mean for it to be like an inquesition, although I can see it came off that way.
I wanted to let you know there is tons of support here, congradulations on not drinking. Please try to separate you, how you feel about you're partner from you. You are you he is him, in relationships we often see each other as being a part of the other person, in a way you are, but you are only as good as the weaker half and its both peoples job to strengthen that resolve. If alcohol is an issue ( for you) then you need to focus on quitting and not mind him. You can only solve the issues on your side of the fence.
Again, except my apologize, I came on a little strong and was a little confused. Best wishes to you my friend.
I wanted to let you know there is tons of support here, congradulations on not drinking. Please try to separate you, how you feel about you're partner from you. You are you he is him, in relationships we often see each other as being a part of the other person, in a way you are, but you are only as good as the weaker half and its both peoples job to strengthen that resolve. If alcohol is an issue ( for you) then you need to focus on quitting and not mind him. You can only solve the issues on your side of the fence.
Again, except my apologize, I came on a little strong and was a little confused. Best wishes to you my friend.
Please please please don't think i took your message as anything other than genuine curiosity and an attempt to understand the situation.
Ive put myself out there tonight, and i'm not just looking for "yes men"
I'm happy to answer any questions about myself
I believe i am among kindred spirits here and i'm learning who I am after 12 years of oblivion. I like to use this place as a sounding board, even though i've only been here 2 days
That was all you were being
Thank you, seriously x
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Originally Posted by TitansFreak
Yes I know many have told me to stop saying that but its in my DNA in from Tennessee..and yes good job on not drinking..Sept.16th we will be celebrating my womans 1 year
"my ol lady" Beats the hell outta "ma bitch" and "babe" any day :lol
Congratulations to her from across the pond!
xoxoxox
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But, as I walked out the bedroom, he stirred and asked "where you going" i said i can't take the snoring i was going to sleep on the sofa. He said "do you want me to go?" i said "you don't have to if you don't want you're in bed" and he just rolled over and went bad to sleep
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Originally Posted by Davethewave
Why didn't you just say yes please ? He offered to go and sleep on the couch. Mountain out of a molehill.
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