jubileeo

Just trying to cope.
New here. I have two sons that are addicted to meth. After many years of fear, anxiety, prayers and hope and despair I told them I didn't want to see them anymore. I have regretted that of course. That is how I ended up here.
Just trying to cope. It helps just knowing that I am not alone, tho I wouldn't wish this off on anyone.

qwer1234

jubileeo-
Many hugs this morning to you. There are a lot of hurting parents on this list.

I've just joined and don't have many "words of wisdom" just hugs and you are not alone.

qwer

Twofish

Dear Jubileeo,
Welcome to SR, home to many mommas, dads and friends that are going thru what you are. You will get advice, take what you can use and leave the rest.
Please don't regret the decision you made to detach from the pain addiction has caused you. I did just as you did, from my two daughters, except I went the legal route and had a do not contact order. Too many lies, thefts and manipulations for this parent. The no contact included no cars, cellphones, money for food or (drugs) stopped paying their rent. I stopped it all.
That night I called the police on my girls (forging checks this time) was the night I found SR. My first beginnings of healing myself and understanding the disease of addiction. You are not alone in this. We are here for you.
Please take care of yourself. Seek out as much support as you can handle! Read the stickies above. Try to remember that this is your SONS problem and addiction. Don't get caught up in getting addicted to their addiction, I did and it was maddening, fearful, anxiety, what iffing and that constant worrying. The pain, it still hurts, but not as strong...
You detached from your sons, that's a start. Now, take care of YOU!
Hold onto hope, sweet hope.
TF

Amysad

Jub - As Twofish says many of us are right here with you.....kept talking to us. Detaching is the only way because the only thing you can do is take care of you. My prayers are with you - it's hard but every day it gets easier. I posted this in another thread.....keep reading and posting and when you have a tough day - and you'll have many - read back words and you'll see progress as small as it maybe in the beginning - the key is to stay with us and let us heal together. Been the greatest experience of my life.

GardenMama

I so understand your pain, the hoping and the letting go. Have you looked for any support groups in your area? They have been a great source of healing for many of us here. NarAnon is for loved ones of substance abusers, but Al-Anon meetings work fine if you don't have a NarAnon group. There are meetings online as well, on this site I think, but if not, read the "stickies" at the top of our forum page for lots of supportive and insightful information. Try to do something nice for yourself each day, even if it is very little (like a bubble bath or a walk in a park) and you will start to feel better. Take care.

Ilovemysonjj

Hello Jub, another Mom here. I have dealt with my sons heroin/meth addiction for 4 years. Many downs and a couple ups. I finally threw myself (spiritually) at the foot of the cross and gave him entirely up. It was exhausting dealing with his relapses and with the meth, it made him psychotic! I gave him the option of going to detox and then rehab or moving out. He went to detox and now is in rehab. I find myself keeping a fair distance as his sobriety this time is just over 90 days.
In our history, I have gone for 4 months without knowing where he was and then he was in jail for several months. I am finding it easier to breathe and function now that I have realized that my 24 year old can and will have to live his life.