Gifts of Sobriety
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
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Gifts of Sobriety
I'm from Texas and if there's one thing we worship in Texas, it's sports. Entire industries, buildings and complexes are dedicated to sports. We have a billion dollar stadium in our area. People make 6 figures a year coaching competitive boys baseball teams. I know families who spend their entire weekends at games and/or tournaments (or travelling to & from). We know boys who are on more than one sports team at a time - who practice or play ball 7 days a week. I work for a school district in which the football team receives more money that any other extra curricular or fine arts program (almost) combined. Texans love sports and it's ingrained in you since birth.
My son plays competitive baseball. He's played baseball almost year round since he was 4. He loves it. We love it. We are a baseball family. My husband played thru college and his father was a minor league pitcher. Baseball is in our blood.
Tonight my son came to me with probably the most difficult thing he's ever had to do. Tonight he sat me down when we got home from practice and told me he's done with baseball.
He presented his arguments by listing all the other things that baseball is starting to interfere with. He's in all honors classes this year, he's continuing with an upper level band class, his social life is starting to develop and lastly, all these practices and games are interfering with the time he has with me.
Me?
Yeah...me. It turns out my son is noticing the changes I've made in my life and really enjoys my company as of late. This is my 13 year old son saying this. A 13 year old boy wanting to spend more time with his mom. Let that sink in a bit.
During one of my last rip roaring drunks, my son saw me black-out drunk. He also watched me wake up the next morning and chug from a bottle of wine. He's seen the depths of hell this addiction will take you and the tolls it can take on a family. After that night when I swore (again) that I would quit he was elated. I didn't quit. I just quit drinking around my kids which forced my addiction further into secrecy. Thankfully and by the grace of the universe, the secrecy got to be too much. I was ashamed to be around my children knowing the lies I was telling them by continuing to drink. I somehow finally manged to pull it together and start another attempt at sobriety.
This time I am making my most honest crack at sobriety yet. And what do you know, it shows. My son knows I'm different without me saying a word. I don't have to. He knows I don't make a beeline for the box of wine when I hit the door in the evening. I don't make stupid excuses to go to the store when he's with me just to get more booze. I'm no longer slurring my words by dinner - hey, I'm actually cooking dinner! I don't pass out on the couch while we're watching tv at night. He doesn't smell my booze-soaked breath every night when I kiss him goodnight. I'm present and most importantly I listen to him now. Tonight never would have happened if I was still drinking. He would have never felt safe telling his drunk mom this decision. No doubt about it.
If I don't get one more positive thing out of sobriety, that is fine with me. This is enough. This is worth all the struggles I have gone thru to get sober. While my son was filled with dread that I would be upset at his decision, he failed to realize the affirmation he gave me tonight that this path - this sober path - has ramifications so unbelievable that even my wildest fantasies couldn't come up with.
Best of all? Sober Hearts talked to her son about honoring commitments tonight. Drunk Hearts would have tried to rescue him to make up for the guilt of drinking. Sober Hearts told him that he's committed to this season so he finishes the season. Drunk Hearts would have let him quit and fired off an email to the coach. Sober Hearts taught her son by example. We don't quit when it gets hard or inconvenient - we see commitments thru.
This is the gift of sobriety in my life. And it just keeps on giving.
My son plays competitive baseball. He's played baseball almost year round since he was 4. He loves it. We love it. We are a baseball family. My husband played thru college and his father was a minor league pitcher. Baseball is in our blood.
Tonight my son came to me with probably the most difficult thing he's ever had to do. Tonight he sat me down when we got home from practice and told me he's done with baseball.
He presented his arguments by listing all the other things that baseball is starting to interfere with. He's in all honors classes this year, he's continuing with an upper level band class, his social life is starting to develop and lastly, all these practices and games are interfering with the time he has with me.
Me?
Yeah...me. It turns out my son is noticing the changes I've made in my life and really enjoys my company as of late. This is my 13 year old son saying this. A 13 year old boy wanting to spend more time with his mom. Let that sink in a bit.
During one of my last rip roaring drunks, my son saw me black-out drunk. He also watched me wake up the next morning and chug from a bottle of wine. He's seen the depths of hell this addiction will take you and the tolls it can take on a family. After that night when I swore (again) that I would quit he was elated. I didn't quit. I just quit drinking around my kids which forced my addiction further into secrecy. Thankfully and by the grace of the universe, the secrecy got to be too much. I was ashamed to be around my children knowing the lies I was telling them by continuing to drink. I somehow finally manged to pull it together and start another attempt at sobriety.
This time I am making my most honest crack at sobriety yet. And what do you know, it shows. My son knows I'm different without me saying a word. I don't have to. He knows I don't make a beeline for the box of wine when I hit the door in the evening. I don't make stupid excuses to go to the store when he's with me just to get more booze. I'm no longer slurring my words by dinner - hey, I'm actually cooking dinner! I don't pass out on the couch while we're watching tv at night. He doesn't smell my booze-soaked breath every night when I kiss him goodnight. I'm present and most importantly I listen to him now. Tonight never would have happened if I was still drinking. He would have never felt safe telling his drunk mom this decision. No doubt about it.
If I don't get one more positive thing out of sobriety, that is fine with me. This is enough. This is worth all the struggles I have gone thru to get sober. While my son was filled with dread that I would be upset at his decision, he failed to realize the affirmation he gave me tonight that this path - this sober path - has ramifications so unbelievable that even my wildest fantasies couldn't come up with.
Best of all? Sober Hearts talked to her son about honoring commitments tonight. Drunk Hearts would have tried to rescue him to make up for the guilt of drinking. Sober Hearts told him that he's committed to this season so he finishes the season. Drunk Hearts would have let him quit and fired off an email to the coach. Sober Hearts taught her son by example. We don't quit when it gets hard or inconvenient - we see commitments thru.
This is the gift of sobriety in my life. And it just keeps on giving.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Originally Posted by HeartsAfire 
He presented his arguments by listing all the other things that baseball is starting to interfere with. He's in all honors classes this year, he's continuing with an upper level band class, his social life is starting to develop and lastly, all these practices and games are interfering with the time he has with me.
Me?
Yeah...me.
[...]This is the gift of sobriety in my life. And it just keeps on giving.
Me?
Yeah...me.
[...]This is the gift of sobriety in my life. And it just keeps on giving.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
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Originally Posted by LeTheVerte
Spectacular story Hearts. Did your heart just flood with intense love (are there words to describe it) when your son expressed the desire to have more time with you? Thanks for the reminder that in life, this is it and it is big...grab it. Nice job Hearts
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Canada
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by HeartsAfire
Best of all? Sober Hearts talked to her son about honoring commitments tonight. Drunk Hearts would have tried to rescue him to make up for the guilt of drinking. Sober Hearts told him that he's committed to this season so he finishes the season. Drunk Hearts would have let him quit and fired off an email to the coach. Sober Hearts taught her son by example. We don't quit when it gets hard or inconvenient - we see commitments thru.
This is the gift of sobriety in my life. And it just keeps on giving.
Congratulations on turning your life around. Your son sounds like quite a special human being. Despite your mistakes, you should be proud.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I really don't know how to say this but I was such a son you reminded me of when I was young and my mum got sober throughout the years I'm almost crying maybe cos she isn't here no more and 5 years ago I was caring for her for 3 months she died sober with over 10 years of sobriety I am 32
Been thinking about her a lot esp at this time thru to the end of November
Just want to say you just reminded me of her and I think you are amazing
Been thinking about her a lot esp at this time thru to the end of November
Just want to say you just reminded me of her and I think you are amazing
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Midwest US
Posts: 157
Thank you so much for that post. I literally have tears streaming down my face because it touched me so much. I have a 13-year-old son as well. Thank you so much for the inspiration. Love it! What a great story!
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
So good to hear this HeartsAFire! You have raised one awesome son!
The lesson you are teaching him by remaining sober will stay with him for the rest of his life. Not quiting or going back on his commitments is another lesson that will help him succeed in the future.
Keep it up Mom! You are doing a FANTASTIC job!
The lesson you are teaching him by remaining sober will stay with him for the rest of his life. Not quiting or going back on his commitments is another lesson that will help him succeed in the future.
Keep it up Mom! You are doing a FANTASTIC job!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Originally Posted by soberwolf
I really don't know how to say this but I was such a son you reminded me of when I was young and my mum got sober throughout the years I'm almost crying maybe cos she isn't here no more and 5 years ago I was caring for her for 3 months she died sober with over 10 years of sobriety I am 32
Been thinking about her a lot esp at this time thru to the end of November
Just want to say you just reminded me of her and I think you are amazing
Been thinking about her a lot esp at this time thru to the end of November
Just want to say you just reminded me of her and I think you are amazing
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I remember posting that and your post touched my heart so much I literally welled up
I know I can't say I personally know you but that post really reminded me of when I used to go to my mum for advice I could tell my mum anything
I can tell your a fantastic mum with many more happy memories to make with your family
Can't wait to hear more
2 months after my mum died my brothers gf was pregnant with a girl
We just celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday
A right lil madam very independent and totally awesome to be around
Spk soon
I know I can't say I personally know you but that post really reminded me of when I used to go to my mum for advice I could tell my mum anything
I can tell your a fantastic mum with many more happy memories to make with your family
Can't wait to hear more
2 months after my mum died my brothers gf was pregnant with a girl
We just celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday
A right lil madam very independent and totally awesome to be around
Spk soon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Originally Posted by soberwolf
I remember posting that and your post touched my heart so much I literally welled up
I know I can't say I personally know you but that post really reminded me of when I used to go to my mum for advice I could tell my mum anything
I can tell your a fantastic mum with many more happy memories to make with your family
Can't wait to hear more
2 months after my mum died my brothers gf was pregnant with a girl
We just celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday
A right lil madam very independent and totally awesome to be around
Spk soon
I know I can't say I personally know you but that post really reminded me of when I used to go to my mum for advice I could tell my mum anything
I can tell your a fantastic mum with many more happy memories to make with your family
Can't wait to hear more
2 months after my mum died my brothers gf was pregnant with a girl
We just celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday
A right lil madam very independent and totally awesome to be around
Spk soon
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