Eclipse

I have not been on this site for a really long time. When I was on the site alot, I was trying to get sober and kept failing...I was looking for the magic pill and couldn't find it anywhere. I was desperate! In January of 2013 I got a DUI, I was due. But it didn't stop me. I was on the edge, freaking out about what I was going to do and how I was going to handle it, so I drank more and more. I drank in the mornings, my family hated me. I was getting close to my bottom. One day I went to work drunk to meet my boss who had come into town to work with me. How stupid was that? As I look back I believe it was a cry for help. I just couldn't do it myself. Come to find out this woman was a recovering alcoholic who took pity on me. She told me I had to go to rehab or lose my job. I went to rehab for 21 days and felt great. Only problem, my family still had lots of anger and resentment toward me. I came home and felt unloved and ignored, so what did I do? Drink!!! For two weeks I drank again, ready to commit suicide, I was done. On April 28, 2013 I took my last drink. Why? I have no idea why I stopped. I just stopped. It was either stop or die. I guess I wasn't ready to die. It was a hard couple of months. I went to outpatient 3 times a week, I went to 3-4 AA meetings a week, I got a sponsor, I read the big book and did the steps. I am proud to tell you that I have 16 months sober. I have never been so relieved of the hiding, the shame, the resentments, the anxiety, the stress. I have learned to forgive myself, although I will never forget. I have my brain back. My relationship with my husband and my kids have never been better, I am healthy! I am back to that person I was so many years ago. If I can do it, so can you!