The first step is admitting your an alcoholic right?
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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The first step is admitting your an alcoholic right?
Or so i hear in films....
I've been on this slowly unravelling experience of realisation for about 18 months now.
Yet I still don't fully FEEL I'm an alcoholic, even though all the online tests say i probably am.
Does anyone actually ever accept 100% they are, or is it more just persuading yourself you are in a semi reality to justify why that bottle of tequila is staying closed??
christ, i'm not sure i'm making any sense, does it?
What i'm trying to describe is so hard to verbalise..... but it's a very real, distant feeling to me.... Like I'm up in the clouds talking about Bella the alcoholic that i'm looking down on. rather than in my own skin.
I must sound bat s*** crazy. just wondered if any one else had a clue what i was on about????
I've been on this slowly unravelling experience of realisation for about 18 months now.
Yet I still don't fully FEEL I'm an alcoholic, even though all the online tests say i probably am.
Does anyone actually ever accept 100% they are, or is it more just persuading yourself you are in a semi reality to justify why that bottle of tequila is staying closed??
christ, i'm not sure i'm making any sense, does it?
What i'm trying to describe is so hard to verbalise..... but it's a very real, distant feeling to me.... Like I'm up in the clouds talking about Bella the alcoholic that i'm looking down on. rather than in my own skin.
I must sound bat s*** crazy. just wondered if any one else had a clue what i was on about????
Hi and welcome to SR!
Personally I'm not a huge fan of the 'alcoholic' term, but many are. Either way I know that I have an awful relationship with booze and the only way for me to stop it completely is through abstinence.
'Alcoholic' is obviously a subjective term, but if you're drinking when you know you shouldn't be then there's a good chance you might find it a good idea to stop!
I battled with the idea for a long time... Am I.... Aren't i? Eventually I realised that what I labelled myself wasn't the issue.
I've still a long way to go myself and am still 'feeling' my way. Usually if someone is posting on a recovery forum I think they know something is wrong, whatever they want to call it
Personally I'm not a huge fan of the 'alcoholic' term, but many are. Either way I know that I have an awful relationship with booze and the only way for me to stop it completely is through abstinence.
'Alcoholic' is obviously a subjective term, but if you're drinking when you know you shouldn't be then there's a good chance you might find it a good idea to stop!
I battled with the idea for a long time... Am I.... Aren't i? Eventually I realised that what I labelled myself wasn't the issue.
I've still a long way to go myself and am still 'feeling' my way. Usually if someone is posting on a recovery forum I think they know something is wrong, whatever they want to call it
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Sorry, how bloody rude of me! Hello to you all too. so nice to meet you xx
Yeah i suppose its not so much the label "alcoholic" i'm having issue with, more of the realisation "you have a problem" rather than "aww I'm just an ex model/party girl who knows how to let her hair down still, keeping it youthful"
but i think as i'm getting older, falling over in public, not a good look.
I think my biggest challenge will be the next traumatic event i go through (they happen more often than you could believe)
Usually thats when the shots into oblivion happen
i suppose the idea is to work yourself into a place where these things don't happen anymore i guess?
Yeah i suppose its not so much the label "alcoholic" i'm having issue with, more of the realisation "you have a problem" rather than "aww I'm just an ex model/party girl who knows how to let her hair down still, keeping it youthful"
but i think as i'm getting older, falling over in public, not a good look.
I think my biggest challenge will be the next traumatic event i go through (they happen more often than you could believe)
Usually thats when the shots into oblivion happen
i suppose the idea is to work yourself into a place where these things don't happen anymore i guess?
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
Posts: 53
well i have quit, and it's early days and baby steps, i don't really know what i'm saying, this, much like sex was a taboo subject in my house. I'm just trying to enunciate feelings that now i've sobered up, cried my eyes out for 2 days, i'm now getting
i've got a general knot in my stomach, guilt. I have no idea what about?
i've got a general knot in my stomach, guilt. I have no idea what about?
Yeah, well you could say your life is pretty unmanageable if you're falling down and describe yourself as the party girl and are having regular "traumatic events". It really isn't a good look at any age.
Stopping completely is really your only option. You can't "work your way into" moderate use.
Stopping completely is really your only option. You can't "work your way into" moderate use.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
Posts: 53
I just don't know what part of me is left anymore
The friends
The places I go
The way I cope with things
On this application it asked what my hobbies are, I have spent so long trying to forget who I am I guess it's kind of worked!
How to build a human being from scratch, huh?
Welcome to the Forum!!
What does an alcoholic feel like? for me alcohol was causing problems in my life, whatever that was called the solution was the same regardless, sure I tried to rationalise the problem away by comparing myself to "definitions" of alcoholic, but still the solution remained the same, change my relationship with alcohol!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
What does an alcoholic feel like? for me alcohol was causing problems in my life, whatever that was called the solution was the same regardless, sure I tried to rationalise the problem away by comparing myself to "definitions" of alcoholic, but still the solution remained the same, change my relationship with alcohol!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
I think once you admit you have a problem with drinking and alcohol--call it alcoholism, call it alcohol dependent, call it whatever you want--you can then address the solution properly. Few of us could just "quit" drinking. We had to learn how to tackle life sober, which is a whole lot different than just not drinking.
Good luck.
Good luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
Posts: 53
Welcome to the Forum!!
What does an alcoholic feel like? for me alcohol was causing problems in my life, whatever that was called the solution was the same regardless, sure I tried to rationalise the problem away by comparing myself to "definitions" of alcoholic, but still the solution remained the same, change my relationship with alcohol!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
What does an alcoholic feel like? for me alcohol was causing problems in my life, whatever that was called the solution was the same regardless, sure I tried to rationalise the problem away by comparing myself to "definitions" of alcoholic, but still the solution remained the same, change my relationship with alcohol!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
From when you first quit for good, how long was it until the pangs started setting in? I've just spent 5 days in bed going through all sorts. the sweats only just stopped last night. It was dreadful, and the dreams.
At the moment I'm too on a high that that is over to want a drink.... when does the "urge" set in again.... and how do you not give in.
I feel like a bit of a wally but i'm scared. I like me sober....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
Posts: 53
I think once you admit you have a problem with drinking and alcohol--call it alcoholism, call it alcohol dependent, call it whatever you want--you can then address the solution properly. Few of us could just "quit" drinking. We had to learn how to tackle life sober, which is a whole lot different than just not drinking.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Welcome to SR!
There's a way to find out.
It's a dastardly predicament, isn't it? Alcohol robs us of the best parts of our humanity and the addiction convinces us to call it friend.
I was in that same state for many many years. There is a better way. I had to stop drinking to find it.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
There's a way to find out.
It's a dastardly predicament, isn't it? Alcohol robs us of the best parts of our humanity and the addiction convinces us to call it friend.
I was in that same state for many many years. There is a better way. I had to stop drinking to find it.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
From when you first quit for good, how long was it until the pangs started setting in? I've just spent 5 days in bed going through all sorts. the sweats only just stopped last night. It was dreadful, and the dreams.
At the moment I'm too on a high that that is over to want a drink.... when does the "urge" set in again.... and how do you not give in.
I feel like a bit of a wally but i'm scared. I like me sober....
At the moment I'm too on a high that that is over to want a drink.... when does the "urge" set in again.... and how do you not give in.
I feel like a bit of a wally but i'm scared. I like me sober....
Then after a week or 2, I had the thoughts of I feel better and so maybe 1 drink won't hurt, because the mind is great at forgetting all the bad stuff, everything seems great and so maybe I didn't have a problem in the first place!!
It's very important to get a support structure in place in preparation for those moments, I could convince myself of anything in isolation, alone with my thoughts on a friday evening was only going to end one way, instead I needed something outside of myself to short circuit what my mind was telling me, whether it's checking out SR on a regular basis, meetings, community groups etc, whatever it is, it needs to get you outside of your own mind, help you to keep pushing through when the bad side of drinking and the withdrawals fade into the past!!
You can do this!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
Posts: 53
Welcome to SR!
There's a way to find out.
It's a dastardly predicament, isn't it? Alcohol robs us of the best parts of our humanity and the addiction convinces us to call it friend.
I was in that same state for many many years. There is a better way. I had to stop drinking to find it.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
There's a way to find out.
It's a dastardly predicament, isn't it? Alcohol robs us of the best parts of our humanity and the addiction convinces us to call it friend.
I was in that same state for many many years. There is a better way. I had to stop drinking to find it.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: london, uk
Posts: 53
I had to keep reminding myself that the body can't heal years of drinking in a matter of days, the body needs to adjust, but it's going to take time, the initial period can be rough, but hang in there!!
Then after a week or 2, I had the thoughts of I feel better and so maybe 1 drink won't hurt, because the mind is great at forgetting all the bad stuff, everything seems great and so maybe I didn't have a problem in the first place!!
It's very important to get a support structure in place in preparation for those moments, I could convince myself of anything in isolation, alone with my thoughts on a friday evening was only going to end one way, instead I needed something outside of myself to short circuit what my mind was telling me, whether it's checking out SR on a regular basis, meetings, community groups etc, whatever it is, it needs to get you outside of your own mind, help you to keep pushing through when the bad side of drinking and the withdrawals fade into the past!!
You can do this!!
Then after a week or 2, I had the thoughts of I feel better and so maybe 1 drink won't hurt, because the mind is great at forgetting all the bad stuff, everything seems great and so maybe I didn't have a problem in the first place!!
It's very important to get a support structure in place in preparation for those moments, I could convince myself of anything in isolation, alone with my thoughts on a friday evening was only going to end one way, instead I needed something outside of myself to short circuit what my mind was telling me, whether it's checking out SR on a regular basis, meetings, community groups etc, whatever it is, it needs to get you outside of your own mind, help you to keep pushing through when the bad side of drinking and the withdrawals fade into the past!!
You can do this!!
:S lol
I know of no "alcohol enhanced" people, whether alcoholic or problem drinker, who have looked back after a period of life change and sobriety and said "wow, life was so much better when I was drinking".
I can find quizzes online that say my drinking is fine, and others that say I'm a full blown alcoholic. A lot of it has to do with whose quiz it is, and how brutally honest you are in answering the questions.
I don't need a label. My drinking affects ME and my happiness. That's enough. The grass in this case really is greener.
I can find quizzes online that say my drinking is fine, and others that say I'm a full blown alcoholic. A lot of it has to do with whose quiz it is, and how brutally honest you are in answering the questions.
I don't need a label. My drinking affects ME and my happiness. That's enough. The grass in this case really is greener.
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