I'm suffering
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 11
I'm suffering
I didn't even drink till I was 27. Now I'm a functioning alcoholic if that is what you want to call it. I don't even drink liquor or even enough wine to mention but I am powerless over beer. If I drink 1 I'll drink 20. I don't know what to do, I can't stop and I don't know why. I feel horrible when I drink more than 2 or 3 but I do it anyway. When I don't drink I feel great. My life is falling apart and I'm too scared to get checked by my doctor for fear of liver disease. I'm not aggressive or abusive in any way and I treat my wife and kids great. I do think my wife is cheating on me and it just makes it worse.
I'm fading fast and I'm losing hope.
I'm fading fast and I'm losing hope.
Well, you just made the first step by coming here and admitting that you need help. I can relate to the if I drink one, I drink 20. That is why i don't drink ANY. We fool ourselves into thinking we can control it-only drink 1 or 2 etc....but it always ends up the same way.
I am not a Dr and don't give medical advice. I don't know if you will need medical assistance to detox so I suggest talking to your Dr or looking into rehab clinics. If you think you can just stop, maybe look into AA? Definately, keep posting here. We have all been where you are.
I am not a Dr and don't give medical advice. I don't know if you will need medical assistance to detox so I suggest talking to your Dr or looking into rehab clinics. If you think you can just stop, maybe look into AA? Definately, keep posting here. We have all been where you are.
Hey Budlight!!!
I found hope here yesterday! Everyone is really nice. Get onto the September class forum and we will all keep each other accountable. Check in everyday. I absolutely think this can help. I'm on the same path. Beer was my poison also and I'm only a couple days ahead of you. We CAN stay sober!!!
I found hope here yesterday! Everyone is really nice. Get onto the September class forum and we will all keep each other accountable. Check in everyday. I absolutely think this can help. I'm on the same path. Beer was my poison also and I'm only a couple days ahead of you. We CAN stay sober!!!
Hi budlight welcome
Stay on this site and make posts on what you feel and what your experiencing
Alcohol is ruining your life now is the time to get sober
Don't be another statistic you can do this reclaim your life
Stay on this site and make posts on what you feel and what your experiencing
Alcohol is ruining your life now is the time to get sober
Don't be another statistic you can do this reclaim your life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 11
Hey Budlight!!!
I found hope here yesterday! Everyone is really nice. Get onto the September class forum and we will all keep each other accountable. Check in everyday. I absolutely think this can help. I'm on the same path. Beer was my poison also and I'm only a couple days ahead of you. We CAN stay sober!!!
I found hope here yesterday! Everyone is really nice. Get onto the September class forum and we will all keep each other accountable. Check in everyday. I absolutely think this can help. I'm on the same path. Beer was my poison also and I'm only a couple days ahead of you. We CAN stay sober!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 11
Well, you just made the first step by coming here and admitting that you need help. I can relate to the if I drink one, I drink 20. That is why i don't drink ANY. We fool ourselves into thinking we can control it-only drink 1 or 2 etc....but it always ends up the same way.
I am not a Dr and don't give medical advice. I don't know if you will need medical assistance to detox so I suggest talking to your Dr or looking into rehab clinics. If you think you can just stop, maybe look into AA? Definately, keep posting here. We have all been where you are.
I am not a Dr and don't give medical advice. I don't know if you will need medical assistance to detox so I suggest talking to your Dr or looking into rehab clinics. If you think you can just stop, maybe look into AA? Definately, keep posting here. We have all been where you are.
If I can go 6 months without a drink under fear of going to jail, why can't I stop now? I just don't get this. I really don't. It's like someone is controlling me. Even though I KNOW I should not do this, I do it anyway. Like in those movies where the person is possessed by a demon. He knows what he is doing but is powerless to stop it because somebody else is pulling the strings.
...why can't I stop now? I just don't get this. I really don't. It's like someone is controlling me. Even though I KNOW I should not do this, I do it anyway. Like in those movies where the person is possessed by a demon. He knows what he is doing but is powerless to stop it because somebody else is pulling the strings.
The good news is the addiction can be defeated, or at least put into remission.
I really feel for you here. It is terribly confusing when keep drinking past when we planned to stop. I've found that the easiest way for me to control my drinking was to just not start in the first place. I'm sorry that your wife may be stepping out, but I can guarantee you that drinking won't make that situation better. Living with a drunk will stress any relationship.
Hang in there BL:
By the writing of your post, you and I are a lot alike. I am (trying not to be) a heavy beer drinker. Also, I have no aggression. I am the "happy drunk" (what an oxymoron) but like you everything is (and will continue if I don't change) falling apart.
Also Like you, I have a wife and kids and even though I feel unworthy of giving advice, I will say one thing I know to be fact, nothing will get better with that can / bottle in your hand. I struggle everyday. Give it everything you have and get all the support (SR and more) that you need to be there for your kids and wife. I wish you the best and SR can be of great help.
You ARE NOT alone
By the writing of your post, you and I are a lot alike. I am (trying not to be) a heavy beer drinker. Also, I have no aggression. I am the "happy drunk" (what an oxymoron) but like you everything is (and will continue if I don't change) falling apart.
Also Like you, I have a wife and kids and even though I feel unworthy of giving advice, I will say one thing I know to be fact, nothing will get better with that can / bottle in your hand. I struggle everyday. Give it everything you have and get all the support (SR and more) that you need to be there for your kids and wife. I wish you the best and SR can be of great help.
You ARE NOT alone
budlight, The "demon" is addiction. You are feeding it. You can starve it.
Here's the link to the September thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2014-a.html
It's good to make some eFriends
Welcome to the site, you can do it!
Here's the link to the September thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2014-a.html
It's good to make some eFriends
Welcome to the site, you can do it!
I have some really good news for you;
Your life can be amazing.
Without beer.
Without any alcohol at all.
You don't have to "give up" anything except shame, guilt, frustration, hangovers, vomit, DUI's, fights, fallouts, damaged relationships, wasted money, wasted time, health problems.....
The only thing you have to stop doing, is pouring poison down your throat.
And with the time you reclaim from that, you get to START doing a whole lot of new things that will lead to but not be limited to; Joy, happiness, fun, laughter, reality, emotions, intimacy, celebration, discovery, growth, meeting challenges head on, responsibility, accomplishment, good health, strength, awareness, clarity, trust, preparedness, oh... and JOY!!
Wow, are you gonna be stoked.
Welcome.
Your life can be amazing.
Without beer.
Without any alcohol at all.
You don't have to "give up" anything except shame, guilt, frustration, hangovers, vomit, DUI's, fights, fallouts, damaged relationships, wasted money, wasted time, health problems.....
The only thing you have to stop doing, is pouring poison down your throat.
And with the time you reclaim from that, you get to START doing a whole lot of new things that will lead to but not be limited to; Joy, happiness, fun, laughter, reality, emotions, intimacy, celebration, discovery, growth, meeting challenges head on, responsibility, accomplishment, good health, strength, awareness, clarity, trust, preparedness, oh... and JOY!!
Wow, are you gonna be stoked.
Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: mountain states, Montana and Wyoming
Posts: 246
There are a lot of people on here who cant stop after one( I am one of them). Don't focus on the 2-20, focus on not having the first one. Lots of support here and good luck to you. Just know you are not alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 11
I have some really good news for you;
Your life can be amazing.
Without beer.
Without any alcohol at all.
You don't have to "give up" anything except shame, guilt, frustration, hangovers, vomit, DUI's, fights, fallouts, damaged relationships, wasted money, wasted time, health problems.....
The only thing you have to stop doing, is pouring poison down your throat.
And with the time you reclaim from that, you get to START doing a whole lot of new things that will lead to but not be limited to; Joy, happiness, fun, laughter, reality, emotions, intimacy, celebration, discovery, growth, meeting challenges head on, responsibility, accomplishment, good health, strength, awareness, clarity, trust, preparedness, oh... and JOY!!
Wow, are you gonna be stoked.
Welcome.
Your life can be amazing.
Without beer.
Without any alcohol at all.
You don't have to "give up" anything except shame, guilt, frustration, hangovers, vomit, DUI's, fights, fallouts, damaged relationships, wasted money, wasted time, health problems.....
The only thing you have to stop doing, is pouring poison down your throat.
And with the time you reclaim from that, you get to START doing a whole lot of new things that will lead to but not be limited to; Joy, happiness, fun, laughter, reality, emotions, intimacy, celebration, discovery, growth, meeting challenges head on, responsibility, accomplishment, good health, strength, awareness, clarity, trust, preparedness, oh... and JOY!!
Wow, are you gonna be stoked.
Welcome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 11
That's great advice. Once I start I just can't stop until I fall asleep. Also I'm scared to death of getting checked by the doctor. They say anything more than 2 drinks a day can give you liver issues. I've been drinking at least 12 a day for 10 years. I'm terrified to go get checked!
That's great advice. Once I start I just can't stop until I fall asleep. Also I'm scared to death of getting checked by the doctor. They say anything more than 2 drinks a day can give you liver issues. I've been drinking at least 12 a day for 10 years. I'm terrified to go get checked!
The liver can heal from quite a lot of abuse. You have to stop, though.
Go to the doc. Then you will know. You need to know. Don't keep drinking just because you think it's too late. It isn't.
It's a simple blood draw. Not expensive, not painful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 11
Only way to overcome fear is through it.
The liver can heal from quite a lot of abuse. You have to stop, though.
Go to the doc. Then you will know. You need to know. Don't keep drinking just because you think it's too late. It isn't.
It's a simple blood draw. Not expensive, not painful.
The liver can heal from quite a lot of abuse. You have to stop, though.
Go to the doc. Then you will know. You need to know. Don't keep drinking just because you think it's too late. It isn't.
It's a simple blood draw. Not expensive, not painful.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
Welcome Budlight. I feel your pain, I am suffering too. I have both the blessing & curse of being able to say that I have tried sobriety & relapsed many times. I can say with absolute sincerity that with recovery & time things do get better. We get to be the people we were always intended to be. Free of the shackles of booze & addiction. Are you going to try checking out meetings or anything? They've really helped me in the past.
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