First *hump* at 115 days
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
First *hump* at 115 days
morning peeps! Hope you all had a great and sober long weekend. 
Not sure what the point of this post is except to ask for tips/positive advice for dealing with the first "hump" since getting sober. I'm at day 115 now and for the first time in months, woke up hating my life. I have to admit, I'm a bit caught offguard by this feeling as the last 3.5months have been pretty good, I may venture to even say wonderful at times! Even with 6 weeks of jail weekends!!! I go to counselling once a week which has been amazing.
I have a good support system with friends, family and my BF. I have barely struggled with wanting to drink - I don't say that to be a braggart, trust me. I guess my last binge and DUI/jail scared the crap outta me that I haven't really struggled with wanting a drink that bad. The thoughts come and go pretty quick.
This morning though - I woke up (after a horrible sleep) and felt like I had just finished a 3 day bender. I am angry, sad, irritated, restless...all the feelings I usually have after a bender. I HATE being at my desk right now. I do not want to be here. I want to punch something. I know I am pi$$ed with my work right now as they keep holding off on a raise I requested last month. Could this be why I am so irate? I haven't had these feelings for months, I'm not sure how to handle them. I've been really good at staying positive and trying to not be so negative in my thoughts but today? I feel rage. And a lot of it.
Not sure what the point of this post is except to ask for tips/positive advice for dealing with the first "hump" since getting sober. I'm at day 115 now and for the first time in months, woke up hating my life. I have to admit, I'm a bit caught offguard by this feeling as the last 3.5months have been pretty good, I may venture to even say wonderful at times! Even with 6 weeks of jail weekends!!! I go to counselling once a week which has been amazing.
I have a good support system with friends, family and my BF. I have barely struggled with wanting to drink - I don't say that to be a braggart, trust me. I guess my last binge and DUI/jail scared the crap outta me that I haven't really struggled with wanting a drink that bad. The thoughts come and go pretty quick.
This morning though - I woke up (after a horrible sleep) and felt like I had just finished a 3 day bender. I am angry, sad, irritated, restless...all the feelings I usually have after a bender. I HATE being at my desk right now. I do not want to be here. I want to punch something. I know I am pi$$ed with my work right now as they keep holding off on a raise I requested last month. Could this be why I am so irate? I haven't had these feelings for months, I'm not sure how to handle them. I've been really good at staying positive and trying to not be so negative in my thoughts but today? I feel rage. And a lot of it.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Olathe
Posts: 200
Anger is one thing that has also caught me a bit by surprise at times during my sober period. I think it'll take us both a learning period of figuring out how to handle those emotions unfiltered through the screen of alcohol. Time is your best friend now. Just let the anger process (hopefully without punching anyone 
) and see how you feel in a few hours or days. I think you'll start to feel much better, and realize you are able to process the anger easier.
) and see how you feel in a few hours or days. I think you'll start to feel much better, and realize you are able to process the anger easier.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
LOL Cahabr - I won't punch anyone
one - I am alone at work today so that's good.
two - I'm on probation have to "keep the peace"
hahah. I'm not a violent person either...I'd hug the crap outta someone right now though.
one - I am alone at work today so that's good.
two - I'm on probation have to "keep the peace"
hahah. I'm not a violent person either...I'd hug the crap outta someone right now though.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 174
Hello!
Look at this threads:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-symptoms.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...not-happy.html
It basically comes and goes! For me, one episode every 3 or 4 weeks.
It hits me with no warnings. In the evening i'm super ok, but in the morning i'm suddenly depressed, my way of thinking is completely changed, what i believed yesterday now i think it's s#*t, lack of motivation and energy.
I've learned to live trough it. There is no other way around! They will get rarely and less intense with time.
Careful though, stay on guard, they are known to be shortcuts to relapse.
Good luck!
Look at this threads:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-symptoms.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...not-happy.html
It basically comes and goes! For me, one episode every 3 or 4 weeks.
It hits me with no warnings. In the evening i'm super ok, but in the morning i'm suddenly depressed, my way of thinking is completely changed, what i believed yesterday now i think it's s#*t, lack of motivation and energy.
I've learned to live trough it. There is no other way around! They will get rarely and less intense with time.
Careful though, stay on guard, they are known to be shortcuts to relapse.
Good luck!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Jup, I'm sorry that this is a tough time.
What I found is that recovery is not a straight line. I had some bumps like you're describing, too and I know it's disappointing to say the least. Interestingly, once I got past one of those bumps, I felt like I had taken a giant step forward. If you are angry about being put off getting a raise at work, you have options. If you want to push the raise issue, do you have your ducks in a row? Can you show/tell the boss things you've done that have helped the workplace? If they still refuse, you can decide to wait it out or to move on to something else. Also, I found journaling when I was angry was very helpful.
Know for sure that these feelings won't last and that you will end up in a better place when you get through this.
What I found is that recovery is not a straight line. I had some bumps like you're describing, too and I know it's disappointing to say the least. Interestingly, once I got past one of those bumps, I felt like I had taken a giant step forward. If you are angry about being put off getting a raise at work, you have options. If you want to push the raise issue, do you have your ducks in a row? Can you show/tell the boss things you've done that have helped the workplace? If they still refuse, you can decide to wait it out or to move on to something else. Also, I found journaling when I was angry was very helpful.
Know for sure that these feelings won't last and that you will end up in a better place when you get through this.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Sounds like life is starting to happen.......the newness of sobriety is starting wear off and you are perhaps beginning to settle in to your sober lifestyle. I'm glad that I have my counselor to check in with; maybe see if yours has any suggestions of where the anger could be coming from. I have a lot of issues related to anger that I never addressed while I was drinking that start to bubble up to the surface randomly. I just remind myself that it is just a bubble and I know as long as I do the next right thing and continue to be sober, all will be good. Hopefully you will have some time to just quietly be with yourself in a relaxing atmosphere (I go outside or by the water); generally if I stay still long enough in my mind and body I can get an idea of what is really going on.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
Concentrate on how far you've come.
It could have ended up a lot worse,
but you prevailed.
115 days is fantastic.
You should be proud of yourself.
You are a definite inspiration for a lot of us
here on SR!
It could have ended up a lot worse,
but you prevailed.
115 days is fantastic.
You should be proud of yourself.
You are a definite inspiration for a lot of us
here on SR!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by Anna 
Jup, I'm sorry that this is a tough time.
What I found is that recovery is not a straight line. I had some bumps like you're describing, too and I know it's disappointing to say the least. Interestingly, once I got past one of those bumps, I felt like I had taken a giant step forward. If you are angry about being put off getting a raise at work, you have options. If you want to push the raise issue, do you have your ducks in a row? Can you show/tell the boss things you've done that have helped the workplace? If they still refuse, you can decide to wait it out or to move on to something else. Also, I found journaling when I was angry was very helpful.
Know for sure that these feelings won't last and that you will end up in a better place when you get through this.
What I found is that recovery is not a straight line. I had some bumps like you're describing, too and I know it's disappointing to say the least. Interestingly, once I got past one of those bumps, I felt like I had taken a giant step forward. If you are angry about being put off getting a raise at work, you have options. If you want to push the raise issue, do you have your ducks in a row? Can you show/tell the boss things you've done that have helped the workplace? If they still refuse, you can decide to wait it out or to move on to something else. Also, I found journaling when I was angry was very helpful.
Know for sure that these feelings won't last and that you will end up in a better place when you get through this.
I sure do
I have a list of stuff that I can use if my raise is turned down. I'm in the middle of a merge as well that basically has "too many chefs in the kitchen" as they say.So, management is um...well...a bit of a mess. I have one (new) boss who says he agrees with me 100%, says it's the other ones who wanted "more time"
I came clean to them in May so they ALL know my issue. I went back to the (new) boss and said "ok, here is my compromise. I will give you guys until Aug 23 b/c it will then be a full 3 months since my return"...which is basically like a brand new probationary term. I also have had more work added to my daily duties. So - I am now over my year (June 24)...I have been back over 3 mths with no late/sick days and as far as I am concerned..on my A++ game...AND I now have more work.
Now I wait. I should hear back this week I was told.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2
Congratulations on 115 days!
I suffer from depression at times. For my depression, I practice self-care that my psychologist advised and may be helpful to do when you have angry/negative feelings.
Everyday, I do one thing good for myself. It doesn't have to be big--even simple things like watching a special TV show, taking a walk, a special dinner, time with a friend, etc. The most important part is to say to yourself and feel in your soul...I deserve something good, I'm going to spend the next hour treating myself to......." Doing this everyday has helped me through bad moods or hard times, and reinforces feeling good. Also, when I do something of which I'm proud, I take some time to really acknowledge this and reflect on the positive things in my life--not just feeling gratitude, but acknowleding how I'm making my life better.
Again, congrats on the 115 days. Hope you feel your success deep inside your soul!
I suffer from depression at times. For my depression, I practice self-care that my psychologist advised and may be helpful to do when you have angry/negative feelings.
Everyday, I do one thing good for myself. It doesn't have to be big--even simple things like watching a special TV show, taking a walk, a special dinner, time with a friend, etc. The most important part is to say to yourself and feel in your soul...I deserve something good, I'm going to spend the next hour treating myself to......." Doing this everyday has helped me through bad moods or hard times, and reinforces feeling good. Also, when I do something of which I'm proud, I take some time to really acknowledge this and reflect on the positive things in my life--not just feeling gratitude, but acknowleding how I'm making my life better.
Again, congrats on the 115 days. Hope you feel your success deep inside your soul!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2
I also wanted to say that anger can be a healthy emotion. I know for myself, I can be passive and need to be more assertive. Sometimes, my anger has meant that I allowed someone to cross a boundary, let someone walk all over me, or I didn't get enough sleep, I'm stressed, etc. I no longer stuff my feelings or my anger; I process my feelings and try and get to the root of things. Many times my anger was from someone judging me and now rather than get angry, I ask myself if I've done something wrong. If I haven't, I remind myself that what other people think of me is none of my business.
My old way of dealing with things was to grab a beer and stuff my feelings. I'm thankful I don't need to do that anymore.
My old way of dealing with things was to grab a beer and stuff my feelings. I'm thankful I don't need to do that anymore.
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