Thatdeliveryguy

Today, my father gave me a real lesson, something I shouldn't forget so soon. Basically, I've been blaming the world my circumstances, having to quit a job for medical reasons has led to destitution financially.

Well today I humbled myself and asked my dad for financial help. What he said next really left me spellbound and feeling bad. What he said:

Son I had an alcoholic father, I too imbibe to much in drinking still, life has up and downs. You can ride high, or feel like nothing matters. If you need help financially we might be able to help. However, first things first, have you looked for more work, are you staying sober, are you committed to sobriety, have you done garage sells, ebay, sold all your non valuables, cut your cable bill, turned off the ac, lived on what you could with food, cut out all extraneous luxuries. He paused and said you don't even need cable or TV, read a book.

He then looked at me and said really write down all the things you can cut from your life. Write down all the things you don't need and can get rid of and sell. Earnestly seek work, make no excuses, find day labor, ask the apartments for more time, and do everything in your power to cut cigarettes and caffeine and liquor in your life ( in his words " expenses and habits for those that can afford them" ) and come back in two weeks. And if and only if in complete sincerity you can say you tried your hardest and didn't come up with the money, I will and your mother will consider helping you, but honor us by asking if you havne't

Those words hit me hard! Finally, he said, I can honor a man that has exhausted all his options, done everything in his power, and still needs help. However, if you haven't done all you can do, then go back be a man and if you still need help we will talk.

Wow, I haven't done all I can do financially or otherwise to maintain sobriety. Now I feel like, I need to reexamine myself and be a "man" well in the abstract that is. Good day folks thought I would share, I thought it good advice. Stay safe and sober

ANewDayNYC

You are on the right path - you can do this, just take it one day at a time.

suki44883

Your father is a very smart man. You are very lucky to have him in your life.

Mangoes

Beautiful.

Thank you for sharing.

You can do this. One breath at a time, one thing at a time, one day at a time.

matt4x4

A) How old are you?
B) How much money do you need?

Soberwolf

TDG your amazing

I really relate to the humbling but in a totally different way

TDG your doing really really well that post was brilliant

Thatdeliveryguy

Matt I am in my 30's and am short about $400. That is a little personal, but I trust this community enough to say that.

Dee74

just to let everyone know - there's no compulsion for any SR member to answer questions they deem too personal, or provide answers that may identify compromise or otherwise embarrass them.

I'm glad you trust us tho TDG


D

Amajorityofone

Very, sound advice.

Once, just once, when I was flat broke I asked my former employer for a $4,000 loan get my business off the ground. He said no. So I decided to max out my only credit card and give him my two week notice. That was twenty years ago. I don't know how much I made but last year I banked eighty grand. And your Father's right. Not only do I not drink. But I don't smoke, chew, gamble or do drugs of any kind, and have read 30 books year to date.

The moral of the story?
Success is intentional.

Food for thought.

GotGrace

TDG, your dad really loves you. What he said to you today was hard for him to say. He said it because he wants you to succeed. I think you are awesome for hearing him and not being defensive.

You are doing everything right. Keep it up!

matt4x4

$400 = Pawn Shop = Money Store = Garage Sale = Bank Loan = Cash Advance on Visa = Overdraft = ask someone else for the cash like friends = many other things you can do!