I keep trying and losing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 179
I keep trying and losing.
I know my routine. 5pm dinner, 6pm wine. This site is great for talking about booze and confessing my failures, but I really need some help. The weekends are bad enough on their own. I mean that's when "everyone" drinks. But this weekend, seeing Facebook friends at the beach and Labor Day weekend parties made it even harder. It seems like every Monday or every Friday there's a reason to push sobriety off to next week.
I don't know if I can face a group of strangers to deal with this, at least not at first. But I know I need something. It's really hard to go on a forum like this to confront my problems, because when I drink at home I tend to go on local forums and message boards to entertain myself. I need some kind of three dimensional interaction outside the bar, and at 38, I don't know where to find new friends. People keep saying AA, but I'm just so scared. In the mean time I know I'm hurting my body and my mind. I just don't know what to do.
I don't know if I can face a group of strangers to deal with this, at least not at first. But I know I need something. It's really hard to go on a forum like this to confront my problems, because when I drink at home I tend to go on local forums and message boards to entertain myself. I need some kind of three dimensional interaction outside the bar, and at 38, I don't know where to find new friends. People keep saying AA, but I'm just so scared. In the mean time I know I'm hurting my body and my mind. I just don't know what to do.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
This was just posted in another thread:
Originally Posted by Tina1234 
Guess what i did today...i went to my very first AA meeting. I am crying right now from being so overwhelmed. Why i didnt go earlier, why waited for so long? It was nothing like i imagined, it was million times better. It was open public speaking, after the meeting everyone started to chat, i felt lost so i decided to leave. I was almost out when woman yelled "excuse me, can i talk to you for a second" I said that it's my first time and start crying. She asked me to go back to chat and introduce me to others. She made me feel comfortable welcome and yes not alone. If she didn't stop me, i ounesly dont know if wouod go back. People were so nice to me, i got 3 phone numbers. Im going back tomorrow, one of the ladies will be there to support me that i dont feel too overwhelmed. If you just like me have a strong fear of AA meeting, please i am bagging you, go to the meeting, try it, just once...I had to drive twice before i stopped the car and forced myself to go in. So,I'm kind a proud of myself and thought to share 
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Taking a hiatus from Facebook won't hurt either...I took what I planned to be a temporary one and next thing knew it was 3 years later and I didn't miss it a bit.
AA is worth a try for anyone, especially if you need some local support. It's common to be scared, but the reality is we should be far more terrified of that will happen if we don't seek help.
AA is worth a try for anyone, especially if you need some local support. It's common to be scared, but the reality is we should be far more terrified of that will happen if we don't seek help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Taking a hiatus from Facebook won't hurt either...I took what I planned to be a temporary one and next thing knew it was 3 years later and I didn't miss it a bit.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
I think stepping away from Facebook and drinking friends/situations could be very beneficial for you to get sober.
It involves so much more than just not drinking.
If you want and need more face-to-face contact, and you don't want to use AA, maybe you try talking to a therapist.
It involves so much more than just not drinking.
If you want and need more face-to-face contact, and you don't want to use AA, maybe you try talking to a therapist.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 215
I had similar feelings about AA.
What if someone sees me going in (no one did)
What if they are all sad old guys in dirty clothes sitting consoling each other about how miserable life is without booze (they weren't... Some of the older ladies there reminded me of my Mum and her friends)
What if I get asked to speak (I didn't)
If you do, you can just say "just checking this out, thanks but no thanks "
The only thing that disturbed me was how normal they all looked.
And I got some hope, that if they could do it, so could I
I do recall thinking some of the ones that said they hadn't drunk for 20 or more years might have been boasting a making up stuff to impress me, but I believed the ones that said they hadn't drank for a year or two, that was all I wanted..... At first
Let us know how you get on and all the best.
What if someone sees me going in (no one did)
What if they are all sad old guys in dirty clothes sitting consoling each other about how miserable life is without booze (they weren't... Some of the older ladies there reminded me of my Mum and her friends)
What if I get asked to speak (I didn't)
If you do, you can just say "just checking this out, thanks but no thanks "
The only thing that disturbed me was how normal they all looked.
And I got some hope, that if they could do it, so could I
I do recall thinking some of the ones that said they hadn't drunk for 20 or more years might have been boasting a making up stuff to impress me, but I believed the ones that said they hadn't drank for a year or two, that was all I wanted..... At first
Let us know how you get on and all the best.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 250
I think some of the best things I've ever done have seriously felt like jumping off a cliff. Getting dry, for me, is like that in so many ways. I wonder if you're not expecting/allowing things to happen outside your comfort zone?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
theres an option on facebook. I can block or unfriend people that post things that bother me.
walking into my 1st meeting was the hardest thing I ever did. but it was the best thing I ever did,too.
walking into my 1st meeting was the hardest thing I ever did. but it was the best thing I ever did,too.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by philly76
People keep saying AA, but I'm just so scared
(bottom line) there are many just like us there
when we get sick and tired of being sick and tired
we will try anything so as to get and stay sober
this is if we are still breathing
MM
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 179
I made it a week because I pushed myself and a friend helped by texting me around 8PM each night. The following week, not so good. I rationalized the hell out of drinking. I'm glad to know I can do it, just frustrated with the boredom that comes with being sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I think a lot of the time what we identify as boredom is just not being wasted and the discomfort and unfamiliarity of that
The things that helped pass the time when drinking like sitting on the couch channel surfing don;t cut the mustard when we're sober.
We need a new life...new things to do, new challenges.
It doesn't fall into your lap and it's hard work especially at the beginning, but it is absolutely worth it Philly
D
The things that helped pass the time when drinking like sitting on the couch channel surfing don;t cut the mustard when we're sober.
We need a new life...new things to do, new challenges.
It doesn't fall into your lap and it's hard work especially at the beginning, but it is absolutely worth it Philly
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I found that it wasn't really boredom that was created by not drinking, but instead that my life was already pretty boring, by taking out drinking, I didn't really do much else, and so I needed to discover what I was interested in, carve out a new lifestyle, build a new life for myself with new activities.
You can turn this around!!
You can turn this around!!
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