My Lunch date
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My Lunch date
I had huge misgivings about going tbh. My stomach was churning and I felt sick with fear. Bloke 2 is the decent, only wanting friendship one (thread about bloke 1 and bloke 2 somewhere on here.) Yeah right! He's basically on the re-bound. Chatted with venom about ex of 15 years! I think emotionally I'm further on than he is. I think it was Thumper warned me it might be the case and that is why he picked me. He is after a wife, anyone will do. I was absolutely panic stricken and got out asap. I couldn't even eat. I pounded my food into my plate into a mush. When we got near home I got out of his car in the traffic lane and hurtled over the sea wall to met my friends. Once with them I cried. Never again!
Bloke 1 is not a bad boy either. I was gently told , by someone who knows him, my feelings for him do not make him bad just cos they scare me
so my radar is not as off I I thought. I just need to stop assuming that the appearance of safe is actually safe cos in bloke 2's case it wasn't. I've realised the dog will do for now. I am not up to it.
Bloke 1 is not a bad boy either. I was gently told , by someone who knows him, my feelings for him do not make him bad just cos they scare me
so my radar is not as off I I thought. I just need to stop assuming that the appearance of safe is actually safe cos in bloke 2's case it wasn't. I've realised the dog will do for now. I am not up to it.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
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LOL! Sorry to laugh, but just the visual of you hurtling over the seawall to get away from him is hysterical! 
Yes, love your dog. Dogs give us unconditional love and demand nothing in return. I know I'd be lost if I didn't have my two four-legged fur babies.
(((HUGS)))
Yes, love your dog. Dogs give us unconditional love and demand nothing in return. I know I'd be lost if I didn't have my two four-legged fur babies.
(((HUGS)))
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LOL
It was pretty funny. About 20 friends were on the beach and they just watch in amazement as I threw myself over the sea wall. I never gave him my number. I shot out of the car like a cannonball. My dog is being fostered by friends at the moment as ex demanded he be got rid of. He's 6 months old and accidentally nipped my son going for a ball in half light and a big deal was made out of it. He's coming back when son goes to live with ex. I miss him tho. Thanks for the hugs
It was pretty funny. About 20 friends were on the beach and they just watch in amazement as I threw myself over the sea wall. I never gave him my number. I shot out of the car like a cannonball. My dog is being fostered by friends at the moment as ex demanded he be got rid of. He's 6 months old and accidentally nipped my son going for a ball in half light and a big deal was made out of it. He's coming back when son goes to live with ex. I miss him tho. Thanks for the hugs Guest
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Moving forward slowly in the traffic line I honestly thought I would be OK until it got near the time to actually do it. I would maybe have been if he'd kept off the wife idea. What gives with that? It was the first time we'd been out and he had no interest in me as person at all.
I honestly thought I would be OK until it got near the time to actually do it. I would maybe have been if he'd kept off the wife idea. What gives with that? It was the first time we'd been out and he had no interest in me as person at all.
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I learnt so much from this date you wouldn't believe. Not least why bloke 1 is ignoring me. He didn't want to be in bloke 2's shoes ROFL.... Other stuff too:-
I don't have to change myself to be liked.
I'm not answerable to anyone about anything I decide in my life.
Bloke 1 has never scared the crap out of me in a bad way or made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Bloke 1 likes me, not what I could be turned into. Bloke 1 likes my kids too.
I actually read them both well and correctly when I was going by my gut, not what my issues said. Mr Safe wasn't at all and deep down I knew that and Mr Menace wasn't at all and deep down I knew that too. That alone has boosted my confidence.
I'm not ready. Bloke 1 already knew this.
I wish I were ready cos I miss him for all my being happy on my own...but it can't be rushed. My initial feeling to keep him out of the train wreck of my life was right but I'd give anything some days to see his smile.
Unless I can move on from Bloke 1 I cannot be with anyone else....ever. I'm only kidding myself that I don't care. I do. It's painful but it has to be dealt with. I have been like a toddler demanding a bag of sweets to God over Bloke 1. He's one of he few things I have ever asked God for. ( mostly life or death stuff has been on my list previously) God says not yet or no....either way the outcome is the same. I must work my path until things become clearer...
Meanwhile back to the dog.
ROFL.... Other stuff too:-I don't have to change myself to be liked.
I'm not answerable to anyone about anything I decide in my life.
Bloke 1 has never scared the crap out of me in a bad way or made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Bloke 1 likes me, not what I could be turned into. Bloke 1 likes my kids too.
I actually read them both well and correctly when I was going by my gut, not what my issues said. Mr Safe wasn't at all and deep down I knew that and Mr Menace wasn't at all and deep down I knew that too. That alone has boosted my confidence.
I'm not ready. Bloke 1 already knew this.
I wish I were ready cos I miss him for all my being happy on my own...but it can't be rushed. My initial feeling to keep him out of the train wreck of my life was right but I'd give anything some days to see his smile.
Unless I can move on from Bloke 1 I cannot be with anyone else....ever. I'm only kidding myself that I don't care. I do. It's painful but it has to be dealt with. I have been like a toddler demanding a bag of sweets to God over Bloke 1. He's one of he few things I have ever asked God for. ( mostly life or death stuff has been on my list previously) God says not yet or no....either way the outcome is the same. I must work my path until things become clearer...
Meanwhile back to the dog.
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It sounds like you're not ready to be dating ... it took me a while to get to the point I wasn't dripping with venom after ex exited my life. So find some gal pals, have fun, or just binge on Netflix until the time is right.
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I'm not angry over ex at all...I got over the anger years ago. I'm in love with bloke 1 but can't do anything about it cos I need to focus on being on my own for a while and I know I 'm not emotionally strong enough to cope if it all went wrong. Accepting I had any feelings for him after 18 years of building walls around myself to stop feeling anything was the hardest thing I have ever done. I swore no bloke would ever hook me in and he did! I was furious at first My friends have been smiling over this cos I was so in denial it was unreal I am doing the movies, hobbies, meeting my friends thing. I'm now avoiding any men like the plague.
My friends have been smiling over this cos I was so in denial it was unreal I am doing the movies, hobbies, meeting my friends thing. I'm now avoiding any men like the plague.
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