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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: GA
Posts: 6
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I'm new here, been browsing around for a few months though. I'm 32 years old and have been drinking as long as I can remember. I suffered a spinal cord injury from an accident back in 2005 and that's when I started heavy. The doctors wanted to keep me on that neurontin crap for all my nerve damage I used alcohol instead. That led me to on and off depression over the years and finally just down right depressed. I thought about suicide and that just pissed me off. I stayed pissed for a few months and drank more, got even more pissed. Then i'm not sure what hit me but I wanted to quit drinking. My typical week is about three 24 packs. Usually two during the week, finish the last one up and one on the weekends. 8-10 most weeknights and then pound em down all weekend.
This past Monday, I did just that, I quit. I know it's not safe but i've never been one to follow rules. It hit me hard late Saturday, just being so furious at myself. I drank my usual Millers on Sunday afternoon and when I woke up Monday I was done. Went to work, stayed on a wire and on my drive home, I just went home. Didn't stop at the store to buy more beer. I was pissed and sick of being the person I was and it just felt good not to stop so I went with it. Monday night sucked and Tuesday sucked pretty bad. On my way home Tuesday I got a bottle of Melatonin and some of that Sleepytime herbal tea. Downed a glass and 9mg worth of Melatonin at 6:00. Slept like a baby and I have actually felt pretty dang good today! I'm sipping a glass of it right now and just downed 9mg more Melatonin.
I don't want to step on anyone's toes but i'm feeling pretty dang good and it's only been three days. Maybe i'm just wired different. Yeah i'm not normal, I hurt and my head pounds at times and my stomach is all in a knot and just feel lethargic but i'm good with that! I haven't really wanted to drink. Sure i've thought about it but it just pisses me off when I do. I laughed at myself earlier for it.
Just wanted to step in here and say thanks to everyone for sharing your struggles and giving advice. I'm going to stick this out. If I actually think about it, it does suck pretty bad but i'm trying to stay optimistic. I have just felt so much better about myself the last few days. I'll check back in soon but I just want to seriously thank everyone in here!
This past Monday, I did just that, I quit. I know it's not safe but i've never been one to follow rules. It hit me hard late Saturday, just being so furious at myself. I drank my usual Millers on Sunday afternoon and when I woke up Monday I was done. Went to work, stayed on a wire and on my drive home, I just went home. Didn't stop at the store to buy more beer. I was pissed and sick of being the person I was and it just felt good not to stop so I went with it. Monday night sucked and Tuesday sucked pretty bad. On my way home Tuesday I got a bottle of Melatonin and some of that Sleepytime herbal tea. Downed a glass and 9mg worth of Melatonin at 6:00. Slept like a baby and I have actually felt pretty dang good today! I'm sipping a glass of it right now and just downed 9mg more Melatonin.
I don't want to step on anyone's toes but i'm feeling pretty dang good and it's only been three days. Maybe i'm just wired different. Yeah i'm not normal, I hurt and my head pounds at times and my stomach is all in a knot and just feel lethargic but i'm good with that! I haven't really wanted to drink. Sure i've thought about it but it just pisses me off when I do. I laughed at myself earlier for it.
Just wanted to step in here and say thanks to everyone for sharing your struggles and giving advice. I'm going to stick this out. If I actually think about it, it does suck pretty bad but i'm trying to stay optimistic. I have just felt so much better about myself the last few days. I'll check back in soon but I just want to seriously thank everyone in here!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: GA
Posts: 6
Good to know i'm not alone! My hunger is probably why my stomach was in knots the first two days. My body must of forgot what it felt like to be hungry. All I know is for the little I drank, compared to alot of people, it sure did numb me up! Today was probably the first day in 9 years i've actually felt like I need to eat. I craved water all day, had to of drank 2 gallons.
Had a feast of burgers on the grill and just had my tea. Only took one melatonin so i'll see how the night goes. I don't mind the tea so much but I don't want to take melatonin. With my body changing I don't want to become dependent on sleep aids. It just amazes me how proactive I have felt. I didn't get frustrated at the traffic on the way home today. Just realized that... How awesome!
Had a feast of burgers on the grill and just had my tea. Only took one melatonin so i'll see how the night goes. I don't mind the tea so much but I don't want to take melatonin. With my body changing I don't want to become dependent on sleep aids. It just amazes me how proactive I have felt. I didn't get frustrated at the traffic on the way home today. Just realized that... How awesome!
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,406
I was famished the first two weeks. Thank goodness that went away! Welcome, jg24112. You are in the right place for support and advice. Prepare to suck up all the experience available!
Congrats on your sober time.
Congrats on your sober time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 215
Your story so far reminds me of mine.
Every time I quit under my own "power / self will", I'd feel good about it but only for a short period.
I was good at stopping, but ultimately I couldn't stay stopped.
If this turns out to be your story & I pray it doesn't .... but if it does, then KNOW that there is a solution & you don't have to "hang on for dear life" under your own power.
If your the "real deal" alcoholic & it sounds to me like you might be ... then you have alcohol - I.S.M.
I = internal, S = spiritual, M = maladjustment
In other words, alcohol temporarily fills an internal spiritual hole deep within you.
Feelings that would indicate I.S.M. are things like "is this all there is to life" or "I don't seem to fit in" or "I can feel lonely in a room full of people" or the worst "maybe I should just kill myself to end this internal pain I can't seem to shake off"
If you have those kinds of thoughts & feelings ... the solution is in a book called "Alcoholics Anonymous"
You may be lucky enough to find the solution in an AA meeting, unfortunately though, the solution in many AA meetings has been watered down so badly, that all you will hear is "just go to meetings, just don't drink"
Just my 10 cents worth .... best of luck with your journey.
If you have any questions, ask away or PM me if you don't want to discuss in open forum.
Every time I quit under my own "power / self will", I'd feel good about it but only for a short period.
I was good at stopping, but ultimately I couldn't stay stopped.
If this turns out to be your story & I pray it doesn't .... but if it does, then KNOW that there is a solution & you don't have to "hang on for dear life" under your own power.
If your the "real deal" alcoholic & it sounds to me like you might be ... then you have alcohol - I.S.M.
I = internal, S = spiritual, M = maladjustment
In other words, alcohol temporarily fills an internal spiritual hole deep within you.
Feelings that would indicate I.S.M. are things like "is this all there is to life" or "I don't seem to fit in" or "I can feel lonely in a room full of people" or the worst "maybe I should just kill myself to end this internal pain I can't seem to shake off"
If you have those kinds of thoughts & feelings ... the solution is in a book called "Alcoholics Anonymous"
You may be lucky enough to find the solution in an AA meeting, unfortunately though, the solution in many AA meetings has been watered down so badly, that all you will hear is "just go to meetings, just don't drink"
Just my 10 cents worth .... best of luck with your journey.
If you have any questions, ask away or PM me if you don't want to discuss in open forum.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: GA
Posts: 6
Hey everyone! It's been a while I know but I just wanted to check in and let everyone know i've been doing great!! Headaches are gone and my intense hunger has subsided. I've been able to really enjoy life for the past few weeks. And honestly I haven't even thought much about having a beer. My house & yard is immaculate again, my harley is polished up & getting tons of miles put on her, and i'm loving it!
Once again, thanks to everyone for their kind words and all the stories & struggles I have read on this forum. Some people may think they are just complaining & creating drama.. But, that drama has helped me tremendously & saved my life!
Once again, thanks to everyone for their kind words and all the stories & struggles I have read on this forum. Some people may think they are just complaining & creating drama.. But, that drama has helped me tremendously & saved my life!
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