The day my inner world got silent
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
The day my inner world got silent
I wanted to share my experience with this community. In my other post today, I was worried about rehab and I hope I can make the right decision there. However, there is an ancillary issue I have, something in sobriety I failed to treat for a long time. Mental issues, for 3 years I heard stuff that didn't exist and decided to ignore and treat it with alcohol.
Let me tell you, ignoring my issues mentally made things worse. Way worse, I was paranoid and delusional, I would lock myself in my house and stand guard against non existent entities, or even worse. Let me tell you, I treated it all with alcohol, alcohol never made anything go away it did however make me think things didn't matter as much. If you like read my past post to see the extent of what I was talking about.
On Sunday the 24th of 2014 my inner world got silent. No more auditory hallucinations. I am so thankful for this, I actually told the mental hospital today hey this medication is sedating me like 14 hours a day of sleep, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. They were like, Jeremy that is troubling come see us tomorrow and we will try a different dose or medication, sleeping 14 hours a day is too much. I am actually scared they want to take away my reprieve now, because I am scared the hallucinations will come back. However, that is not what this post is about, this post is about getting the help you need.
The tentative diagnosis I got was, alcoholic psychosis, however; with a family history of much more serious mental issues, I was also told I might have schizophrenia and or be indisposed to these types of events. Bottom line, they seriously won't know until I am separated from alcohol for sometime.
I being very direct and introspective for a reason today. I silenced a beast that has been plaguing me for quite sometime. It is a surreal feeling to not wake up to the most deafening horrific delusions and voices. I am atheist, and all I can say is I thank medical science for the advances in medication.
Rehab, maybe, maybe not, I am going to get blood results today, they may be bad, real bad. I was a very heavy alcoholic towards the end, and drank as soon as this Saturday. I will walk that walk and see what happens going forward, but really this message isn't for me its for you.
Please, I know many of you suffer from depression, bipolar problems, anxiety, maybe even "voices" please get help. My world is silent, I am leveling out, I wouldn't trade my 10 waking hours for 20 awake hours ever again. Please if you need help mentally to stay sober get that help, this is one man that is pleading with those of you with issues mentally to get help?
Stay safe and sober friends TDG ( Jeremy)
Let me tell you, ignoring my issues mentally made things worse. Way worse, I was paranoid and delusional, I would lock myself in my house and stand guard against non existent entities, or even worse. Let me tell you, I treated it all with alcohol, alcohol never made anything go away it did however make me think things didn't matter as much. If you like read my past post to see the extent of what I was talking about.
On Sunday the 24th of 2014 my inner world got silent. No more auditory hallucinations. I am so thankful for this, I actually told the mental hospital today hey this medication is sedating me like 14 hours a day of sleep, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. They were like, Jeremy that is troubling come see us tomorrow and we will try a different dose or medication, sleeping 14 hours a day is too much. I am actually scared they want to take away my reprieve now, because I am scared the hallucinations will come back. However, that is not what this post is about, this post is about getting the help you need.
The tentative diagnosis I got was, alcoholic psychosis, however; with a family history of much more serious mental issues, I was also told I might have schizophrenia and or be indisposed to these types of events. Bottom line, they seriously won't know until I am separated from alcohol for sometime.
I being very direct and introspective for a reason today. I silenced a beast that has been plaguing me for quite sometime. It is a surreal feeling to not wake up to the most deafening horrific delusions and voices. I am atheist, and all I can say is I thank medical science for the advances in medication.
Rehab, maybe, maybe not, I am going to get blood results today, they may be bad, real bad. I was a very heavy alcoholic towards the end, and drank as soon as this Saturday. I will walk that walk and see what happens going forward, but really this message isn't for me its for you.
Please, I know many of you suffer from depression, bipolar problems, anxiety, maybe even "voices" please get help. My world is silent, I am leveling out, I wouldn't trade my 10 waking hours for 20 awake hours ever again. Please if you need help mentally to stay sober get that help, this is one man that is pleading with those of you with issues mentally to get help?
Stay safe and sober friends TDG ( Jeremy)
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