Are we so different in the UK to the US?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: North East England
Posts: 99
Are we so different in the UK to the US?
It's such a part of life here that with the mostly awful weather our entire lives seem to be focused on drinking. We drink at home after work, we drink at sports events, we drink at pretty much everything! Our social lives are built around Friday, Saturday, work finished, pub or house party. Is it us? Is it everyone? I'm F**king lost to what else people do. I have no family, I've just failed after a good long (for me) sober spell and now I have to do it all again. Just venting out as pointed out by others I don't post, just read, so here is my post. Thanks for listening.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Hi owington - I'm glad you wanted to talk about this.
I don't think it's all that different in the US. It was part of every vacation, holiday, celebration of any kind - at least where I grew up. My family all drank responsibly though - I was the only one who could never get enough.
You haven't failed if you've decided to get back on track. I'm sorry you're frustrated, but you can get your sober time back, & you never have to suffer like this again.
I don't think it's all that different in the US. It was part of every vacation, holiday, celebration of any kind - at least where I grew up. My family all drank responsibly though - I was the only one who could never get enough.
You haven't failed if you've decided to get back on track. I'm sorry you're frustrated, but you can get your sober time back, & you never have to suffer like this again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: North East England
Posts: 99
I guess I just see US films n TV shows where everyones so happy with great families and loads of stuff to do. What a ridiculous statement to make, even reading it myself I know it doesn't make sense. Just give us a bit of sunshine eh?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
I think that when we're drinking, it seems like alcohol is everywhere.
That's why early recovery is so challenging. I was so lost when I stopped drinking - I had no clue what I would do in the evenings and on the weekends. But, you will find your way and I'm glad that you have returned. We're here for you.
That's why early recovery is so challenging. I was so lost when I stopped drinking - I had no clue what I would do in the evenings and on the weekends. But, you will find your way and I'm glad that you have returned. We're here for you.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Originally Posted by owington 
Problem for me is mates just do not get it. "youll be ok with a couple" There is literally nobody in my environment that understands
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Originally Posted by owington
Problem for me is mates just do not get it. "youll be ok with a couple" There is literally nobody in my environment that understands
Nobody in your environment that understands.....? Well, perhaps it's time for a new environment.
Just a couple of things to think about.
(o:
NoelleR
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Owington - I've lived years in a few different countries, UK and US included, but not exclusive, and I am not a native of either of these two countries.
I definitely think that cultural differences always influence our lifestyles and thinking, and this depends on where we were born, grew up, and lived longer term. But I don't think recovery from addictions has much to do with nationality, culture, local politics, or anything like that. It has ALL to do with how WE approach the change, what works for us. Probably one important component of recovery, just as much as living a good life in general, is that we NEED TO transcend the weather, external, cultural, whatever influences and find our own way.
All the best; you can do this
I definitely think that cultural differences always influence our lifestyles and thinking, and this depends on where we were born, grew up, and lived longer term. But I don't think recovery from addictions has much to do with nationality, culture, local politics, or anything like that. It has ALL to do with how WE approach the change, what works for us. Probably one important component of recovery, just as much as living a good life in general, is that we NEED TO transcend the weather, external, cultural, whatever influences and find our own way.
All the best; you can do this
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Owington keep on trying as you have stated they don't understand and that by being here your not off down the offy
That is remarkable I'm guessing you don't think so cos its like what's the point at this moment
I swear the point is your going to thrive in sobriety things that u never thought u were capable of will become so much easier
Hang in there ur getting stronger and that strength only grows
Good work keep it up
That is remarkable I'm guessing you don't think so cos its like what's the point at this moment
I swear the point is your going to thrive in sobriety things that u never thought u were capable of will become so much easier
Hang in there ur getting stronger and that strength only grows
Good work keep it up
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Owington keep on trying as you have stated they don't understand and that by being here your not off down the offy
That is remarkable I'm guessing you don't think so cos its like what's the point at this moment
I swear the point is your going to thrive in sobriety things that u never thought u were capable of will become so much easier
Hang in there ur getting stronger and that strength only grows
Good work keep it up
That is remarkable I'm guessing you don't think so cos its like what's the point at this moment
I swear the point is your going to thrive in sobriety things that u never thought u were capable of will become so much easier
Hang in there ur getting stronger and that strength only grows
Good work keep it up
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
Ok, I'll throw a wrench in the works as the first person here to say, I think it is vastly different. I have lived in London (3 years) and you walk, because they do walk more in England than in the US, you walk past pubs all the time. It is part of daily life. It is where people meet for lunch. There is NO stigma.
As a mom of 3, I can't hang out in a local bar, it would look weird, especially in the daytime. And there aren't many places to drink as compared to England.
I have often thought of this when I see people post from, well probably the UK in general although I can only really vouch for England.
There is usually a pub at the end of every high road. If I lived in England, I am sure there would be a pub walking distance and I could go there and talk with neighbors and etc.
I used to wish we had that here in the US. I still think it's great. You don't need to drink, not everyone does. But it's so easy to drop in on the way from the tube station to your flat.
The weather. Oh yes, the grey, grey and more grey. The cold, the rain. For sure it affects things and to walk passed a warm, comforting, welcoming pub on the way home on a cold, dismal day is so inviting. You will also hear, c'mon in mate! Maybe not mate to me but whatever it was, can't remember now, but it was welcoming.
I also think people who live in places like Italy and France have cultural difficulties. I knew a French woman who had a bottle of wine at lunch and another bottle of wine at dinner. Every day. That was normal to her. She told me Americans are too reserved about alcohol.
I can walk all over my neighborhood. I will never pass a warm, welcoming pub with laughter and in the day, mom and dads and kids. Pubs are part of English culture and it is hard to visit your friends at one and not drink. I did it when I was there, I ordered orange juice but I would imagine it would be very hard. I was very young and just wasn't fond of alcohol (yet). And even if you don't buy a pint, someone will usually offer you one and insist.
It's like in Japan. It's considered rude to not accept a gift, even if it's sake. I don't really know how businessmen could do business refusing the drinks given them because it would just be considered rude. If they don't want to drink, they will nurse a 1/2 full drink as long as they can because it is considered rude to allow someone's glass to become empty. Before it's empty, someone has refilled it or gotten you another one. I managed in Tokyo for 2 years barely drinking because I still didn't care much for alcohol.
I do think cultural differences play a large hand in sobriety. For example, in California, it is totally acceptable to be vegan yogi. No one would think that was weird. Don't smoke, don't drink? fits right in here. The "in" look where I live is yoga pants and athletic shoes. Going to a spin class is what all the cool moms do. Meeting at a coffee shop or a juice bar. Going for brisk walks with big smiles whilst walking the dog - the norm.
Good Luck Mate - I know it is hard!...but not impossible!
As a mom of 3, I can't hang out in a local bar, it would look weird, especially in the daytime. And there aren't many places to drink as compared to England.
I have often thought of this when I see people post from, well probably the UK in general although I can only really vouch for England.
There is usually a pub at the end of every high road. If I lived in England, I am sure there would be a pub walking distance and I could go there and talk with neighbors and etc.
I used to wish we had that here in the US. I still think it's great. You don't need to drink, not everyone does. But it's so easy to drop in on the way from the tube station to your flat.
The weather. Oh yes, the grey, grey and more grey. The cold, the rain. For sure it affects things and to walk passed a warm, comforting, welcoming pub on the way home on a cold, dismal day is so inviting. You will also hear, c'mon in mate! Maybe not mate to me but whatever it was, can't remember now, but it was welcoming.
I also think people who live in places like Italy and France have cultural difficulties. I knew a French woman who had a bottle of wine at lunch and another bottle of wine at dinner. Every day. That was normal to her. She told me Americans are too reserved about alcohol.
I can walk all over my neighborhood. I will never pass a warm, welcoming pub with laughter and in the day, mom and dads and kids. Pubs are part of English culture and it is hard to visit your friends at one and not drink. I did it when I was there, I ordered orange juice but I would imagine it would be very hard. I was very young and just wasn't fond of alcohol (yet). And even if you don't buy a pint, someone will usually offer you one and insist.
It's like in Japan. It's considered rude to not accept a gift, even if it's sake. I don't really know how businessmen could do business refusing the drinks given them because it would just be considered rude. If they don't want to drink, they will nurse a 1/2 full drink as long as they can because it is considered rude to allow someone's glass to become empty. Before it's empty, someone has refilled it or gotten you another one. I managed in Tokyo for 2 years barely drinking because I still didn't care much for alcohol.
I do think cultural differences play a large hand in sobriety. For example, in California, it is totally acceptable to be vegan yogi. No one would think that was weird. Don't smoke, don't drink? fits right in here. The "in" look where I live is yoga pants and athletic shoes. Going to a spin class is what all the cool moms do. Meeting at a coffee shop or a juice bar. Going for brisk walks with big smiles whilst walking the dog - the norm.
Good Luck Mate - I know it is hard!...but not impossible!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Hi Owington,
I've never been to UK, though I'd like to. The way I view alcohol is this: IT'S EVERYWHERE. Sometimes its like trying to avoid dirt. Guess that's a reason I never took up any other drugs...too hard to get and I'm lazy, lol. Hang in there, you are not alone
Bunnez
I've never been to UK, though I'd like to. The way I view alcohol is this: IT'S EVERYWHERE. Sometimes its like trying to avoid dirt. Guess that's a reason I never took up any other drugs...too hard to get and I'm lazy, lol. Hang in there, you are not alone
Bunnez
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I don't think it's all that different, really. Chicago used to have taverns on most every corner catering to the men working at the steel mills. The hub of social life after work and where people would gather and unwind. Eat their lunches and visit and catch up on the news. But, Many family histories are filled with stories of the fathers and grandfathers who drank away their wages on payday. My uncle's father was one of those men and died an alcoholic death.
My friends don't fully understand either. I didn't understand until I was the alcoholic friend who had too much to drink. Keep posting here for support. Talk to someone before you drink. Keep going. You can do it.
My friends don't fully understand either. I didn't understand until I was the alcoholic friend who had too much to drink. Keep posting here for support. Talk to someone before you drink. Keep going. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Tennessee,USA
Posts: 94
Where I live it's mostly prescription drug abuse. In my hometown (Kentucky) I lived in a dry county. Tennessee which is wet was 10 minutes away. So not a problem to easily access alcohol. The closest place you can buy liquoir (sp?) is an hour away. They are several people who (bootleg) liquoir here.
Off topic,but I love the accent of people from the U.K. I could listen to them talk from now... until forever and never get bored
Off topic,but I love the accent of people from the U.K. I could listen to them talk from now... until forever and never get bored
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
Having never been to the UK, I couldn't reasonably compare the two. But I do live in San Francisco and I feel like there's an opportunity to drink on practically every corner. Bars, restaurants advertising their craft beer list or wines from local wineries, fancy cocktail places that also happen to offer small plates, liquor stores... Like a friend of mine in AA likes to say "ah! San Francisco, what a great drinking town!"
As for weather: it's foggy, lets drink; it's cold, let's drink to get warm; it's sunny, let's drink! There's a sports game on? Drinking. It's Sunday morning, let's to have brunch, and be wasted by 2 pm.
Drinking does seem to be everywhere, but maybe I'm just more sensitive to it now that I've quit drinking.
As for weather: it's foggy, lets drink; it's cold, let's drink to get warm; it's sunny, let's drink! There's a sports game on? Drinking. It's Sunday morning, let's to have brunch, and be wasted by 2 pm.
Drinking does seem to be everywhere, but maybe I'm just more sensitive to it now that I've quit drinking.
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