justinJustQuit

Well I drank again Saturday night. It was a one night thing, but I still can't figure out exactly what made me do it.

I've been averaging two slips a month. I have no financial issues, career issues, family issues. In fact, all of that is great. (Well with wife and kid that is)

I do not wish to ever drink again, but even so, I still slip now and then. I haven't even gotten two straight months.

Sure I'm doing way better. 2 days a month is better than 30, but it's not 0 days. There's no real long term sobriety like I really want.

Has anyone had this happen?

PurpleKnight

I spent a year going round and round in circles, no drinking for days and then drinking, the key I found was support, what do you do when you think of drinking? do you reach out to anyone, come onto SR and post? or simply reach for that drink!!

My mind could convince me of anything in isolation, but support can short circuit that thought process, posting BEFORE having that 1st drink, could make all the difference!!

You can do this!!

whalebelow

Do you have thoughts just before you pick up that are along the lines of

I won't get really drunk this time, this time I'll just get that lovely warm glow & stop after 2-3 drinks

This "not drinking" is such bloody hard work, Stuff it, I'll just get drunk this one time, but after this I'm stopping & staying stopped

justinJustQuit

Well Saturday, I had my sons 1 year birthday party. My in laws (very casual drinkers) brought a whopping two beers a piece. I thought nothing of it.

Then I had to go to the store to get ketchup of all things, and there was a woman handing out free samples of bourban. Of course I tried it and bought a bottle.

It's crap like that that gets me more than anything. It may sound weird but it's true.

justinJustQuit

No I don't. I know I'll be getting blackout drunk. I just rationalize it in my head that one night won't kill me and if won't have to detox. Unfortunately, that on night I'm pretty sure I fractured a rib.

whalebelow

Well I dunno what to tell you really ?

Only time will tell if your simply a problem drinker or something more serious.

If it starts to get worse ie: deciding to get good & drunk becomes more & more frequent and the justifications and excuses are getting slimmer ... you might be heading for a place where you need outside help.

ScottFromWI

Perhaps you need something more structured as a recovery plan? Not sure if you have tried AA/NA or any of the non-step based live meetings. IOP might be worth looking into as well. Sometimes external accountability is needed until one gets some substantial sober time under their belts.

MIRecovery

From the BB

"The notion that we could drink like other people had to be completely smashed".

Until we let go absolutely we are doomed to failure

SoberHoopsFan

Realistically I think you know it will never stay just "two slips a month." All roads eventually lead to the same place whether the descent is steep or gradual. The only way to ever truly control your drinking is to stop it completely. When you keep alcohol in your life, the next disaster is always right around the corner even if we seemingly don't see it coming.

Altoids

This scares me. You don't know WHAT you will do in a blackout. You most likely fractured a rib this time. What about next time? Fracture you wife's rib, or your baby's rib??? Blackouts should scare the cr@p outta you. I know they did me.

And one night CAN kill you or your baby or your wife, and in the case of the latter, you will get to do the treatment program through the prison system. Alcohol is nothing to play with like that.

Kaneda8888

Hey Justin

I was exactly like you last year. I had begun to taper down my drinking and in fact, had reduced my drinking to only once a week in my last month. But I knew that I wanted to go one better and simply stay stopped (its in one of my first ever threads).

But I couldnt ! No particular reason to pick up aside from habit. It was incredibly frustrating.

Eventually I had this moment of clarity where I think my desire to be sober finally tipped the scales over and I stopped. By this time, I had a recovery plan which involved meditation, exercise, counselling and AA. All of these helped me tremendously.

If you dont have a recovery plan, then I do recommend that you start developing one. It took me a lot of playing around and adjusting before I had one that worked. Also, its a continual work in progress. It adjusts all the time. I call it a 'living' plan.

Above all, be patient with yourself. Over time, the solution may come to you.

Keep trying, dont give in and eventually you will succeed !

Amajorityofone

Everyone reaches the stone cold wall on this proverbial road. The question then becomes do you still have the will to remain clean and sober long after your "will" to remain clean and sober is gone?