Help! I need somebody!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1
Help! I need somebody!
hi. my boyfriend of 4 years has gone into rehab. Not really his idea as it was through family intervention. He is not even in the state as I am right now! It is hard for me because we have had no contact at all. I know it has only been a short period of time...14 days to be exact but he does talk to his sister 3x week and she updates me on how he is doing. yesterday his brother visited him. he says he doesn't want anyone to come out and visit him, yet he allowed his brother to come. I am so lost right now and scared because I don't know what is going on with him. We live together and being at home has proven very painful for me these days. I will wake up in the middle of the night and I have so much anxiety! My heart races, my mind wanders and my stomach is always tied in knots! I don't know why he wont talk to me or let me see him. I respect the process he is going through and am trying very hard to understand and not to take it personal. but it is very hard...because I feel like he is shutting me out. We used to talk about everything and now nothing. I feel like an addict going through my own withdrawals. please help me to understand. I just love him so much and am scared of losing him. I want to support him the right way and not scare him off with what I may say or do. But I feel as though he should know how I am feeling right now. Help!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum jinkee!! 
Addiction and recovering from addiction can be chaos, and reading too much into things about your boyfriends words or actions is not the best, as he withdraws his emotions, thoughts, and feelings will be all over the place, and so some of his actions that may look out of place only make sense from the perspective of addiction.
He needs to sort himself out if there is a chance of your relationship continuing, so he needs the space he needs to heal and fight his addiction, and complicating things in terms of how you feel probably won't help matters, that probably sounds harsh, but his addiction needs to be his sole focus, as in the end it can be life or death, it can be that serious, to the point that his family intervened!!
In the meantime support for you is essential, you'll find loads here on SR, we even have a friends and family section, which may also be worth checking out!!
Addiction and recovering from addiction can be chaos, and reading too much into things about your boyfriends words or actions is not the best, as he withdraws his emotions, thoughts, and feelings will be all over the place, and so some of his actions that may look out of place only make sense from the perspective of addiction.
He needs to sort himself out if there is a chance of your relationship continuing, so he needs the space he needs to heal and fight his addiction, and complicating things in terms of how you feel probably won't help matters, that probably sounds harsh, but his addiction needs to be his sole focus, as in the end it can be life or death, it can be that serious, to the point that his family intervened!!
In the meantime support for you is essential, you'll find loads here on SR, we even have a friends and family section, which may also be worth checking out!!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
Welcome to the Forum jinkee!!
Addiction and recovering from addiction can be chaos, and reading too much into things about your boyfriends words or actions is not the best, as he withdraws his emotions, thoughts, and feelings will be all over the place, and so some of his actions that may look out of place only make sense from the perspective of addiction.
He needs to sort himself out if there is a chance of your relationship continuing, so he needs the space he needs to heal and fight his addiction, and complicating things in terms of how you feel probably won't help matters, that probably sounds harsh, but his addiction needs to be his sole focus, as in the end it can be life or death, it can be that serious, to the point that his family intervened!!
In the meantime support for you is essential, you'll find loads here on SR, we even have a friends and family section, which may also be worth checking out!!
Addiction and recovering from addiction can be chaos, and reading too much into things about your boyfriends words or actions is not the best, as he withdraws his emotions, thoughts, and feelings will be all over the place, and so some of his actions that may look out of place only make sense from the perspective of addiction.
He needs to sort himself out if there is a chance of your relationship continuing, so he needs the space he needs to heal and fight his addiction, and complicating things in terms of how you feel probably won't help matters, that probably sounds harsh, but his addiction needs to be his sole focus, as in the end it can be life or death, it can be that serious, to the point that his family intervened!!
In the meantime support for you is essential, you'll find loads here on SR, we even have a friends and family section, which may also be worth checking out!!
Just give him a lil time and see what happens
Remember he is doing this to be well
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by jinkee
I feel like an addict going through my own withdrawals.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Jinkee,
I am sorry you are going through a hard time. I say let him be in peace at rehab. Girlfriends bring a whole different dynamic than family. It might be soothing and healing to have family visit but stressful to have you visit.
I say give him peace and understanding and space while he is in rehab. There's a reason they don't have girlfriend/boyfriends come visit everyday. He needs to work on himself.
I am sorry you are going through a hard time. I say let him be in peace at rehab. Girlfriends bring a whole different dynamic than family. It might be soothing and healing to have family visit but stressful to have you visit.
I say give him peace and understanding and space while he is in rehab. There's a reason they don't have girlfriend/boyfriends come visit everyday. He needs to work on himself.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
