My thoughts, drinking a symptom, not problem
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
My thoughts, drinking a symptom, not problem
This weekend I fell flat on my face, I took all my bravado pomp and my circumstances at the moment and allowed my self to drink. Why did I drink this weekend, I drank to celebrate successes I had because, get this
(surprises no one here) to celebrate the progress I've made by not drinking.
I am still stuck on why I drank, I am confounded daily by my decisions in some circumstances. So today I have an orientation ( you need to be orientated first because its state funded) for free counseling. I was given this big long worksheet to fill out.
A little bit of the worksheet some personal stuff for me, questions like:
I feel mad when: "I don't get my own way", I handle my anger by " drinking and trying to talk to the other person"
The hardest question for me was if you had a perfect life what would it look like, my answer to this question I literally spent 20 minutes trying to think about the answer, I came up with have more money, had a better job, better relations with my family, stop drinking ( silly because that isn't even what the question asked) stopping something doesn't constitute what a perfect life looks like per se. Sadly, the thought even crossed my mind to put something like to drink without consequences ( very honest personal feeling I had at the moment).
I never even answered that question other then some totally wrote answer suspect they will analyze and ask me more questions about.
What I realized after filling out all these forms and have to look into myself and analyze my feelings. The answer to how I would handle something, or what a perfect life might look like, but I realized something my mindset is still of that as a drinker first. And secondly I have lots of very deep personal issues, and problems I need to resolved because I attempt to solve those problems with alcohol.
Once awhile ago, someone with much sober time on this site, told me
" stopping drinking is the first step in a long process of sobriety", I was so arrogant at that time to tell that person " If I stop drinking all my problems will be solved" that is a paraphrase. Well guess what, I have been sober more than intoxicated over the last 8 months despite many relapses and stuff, and my problems most certainly aren't solved. What a novel thought that person had, sheesh its taken me till now to realize it!
Drinking is a symptom not the problem, or that is my new found belief. Maybe its wrong, maybe its dead on but I am glad I filled out this worksheet and will be able to discuss it today at this meeting. But I am going to continue working on all my issues an problems, and hope all of you try to find the reasons that underline why you drink, didn't drink, how not to drink and so forth. Yes, I know there is percentage out there that drinks to stave over horrific withdrawals ( not that they don't want to stop or address their issues) if you are one of those get to detox or the ER fast.
Thanks for reading, my thoughts at this moment, going to do this counseling thing today and talk about my " problems and issues" but I am invested in quitting. Again, in my newest theme of, hey stupid listen to those that came before you, and life will get easier. I would like to thank that person who said that to me, I am certain you know who you are, they read the forums often.
Stay safe and sober as always, and for me today will be a day of more self reflection.
(surprises no one here) to celebrate the progress I've made by not drinking.
I am still stuck on why I drank, I am confounded daily by my decisions in some circumstances. So today I have an orientation ( you need to be orientated first because its state funded) for free counseling. I was given this big long worksheet to fill out.
A little bit of the worksheet some personal stuff for me, questions like:
I feel mad when: "I don't get my own way", I handle my anger by " drinking and trying to talk to the other person"
The hardest question for me was if you had a perfect life what would it look like, my answer to this question I literally spent 20 minutes trying to think about the answer, I came up with have more money, had a better job, better relations with my family, stop drinking ( silly because that isn't even what the question asked) stopping something doesn't constitute what a perfect life looks like per se. Sadly, the thought even crossed my mind to put something like to drink without consequences ( very honest personal feeling I had at the moment).
I never even answered that question other then some totally wrote answer suspect they will analyze and ask me more questions about.
What I realized after filling out all these forms and have to look into myself and analyze my feelings. The answer to how I would handle something, or what a perfect life might look like, but I realized something my mindset is still of that as a drinker first. And secondly I have lots of very deep personal issues, and problems I need to resolved because I attempt to solve those problems with alcohol.
Once awhile ago, someone with much sober time on this site, told me
" stopping drinking is the first step in a long process of sobriety", I was so arrogant at that time to tell that person " If I stop drinking all my problems will be solved" that is a paraphrase. Well guess what, I have been sober more than intoxicated over the last 8 months despite many relapses and stuff, and my problems most certainly aren't solved. What a novel thought that person had, sheesh its taken me till now to realize it!
Drinking is a symptom not the problem, or that is my new found belief. Maybe its wrong, maybe its dead on but I am glad I filled out this worksheet and will be able to discuss it today at this meeting. But I am going to continue working on all my issues an problems, and hope all of you try to find the reasons that underline why you drink, didn't drink, how not to drink and so forth. Yes, I know there is percentage out there that drinks to stave over horrific withdrawals ( not that they don't want to stop or address their issues) if you are one of those get to detox or the ER fast.
Thanks for reading, my thoughts at this moment, going to do this counseling thing today and talk about my " problems and issues" but I am invested in quitting. Again, in my newest theme of, hey stupid listen to those that came before you, and life will get easier. I would like to thank that person who said that to me, I am certain you know who you are, they read the forums often.
Stay safe and sober as always, and for me today will be a day of more self reflection.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I think that drinking is often a symptom. It's what we use to cope, to self-medicate. Sadly, the drinking itself becomes a problem which we then have to deal with, and we still have all the underlying issues to fix too.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
TDG.... Take away alcohol from this equation.... Life has ups and downs for every person on this planet. No one gets out of this unscathed. We agree?
People that don't drink face their set of these problems with what ever tools they have but since alcohol is not a problem for them they may use alcohol as a way to "get away" for a short time. But the problems outside of drinking need work. Hard work.
People that do have a problem with alcohol must face their set of problems in the same way as those that don't drink. Only what we do is try to use a problem to solve a problem. Very much compounding things to unbearable levels.
Please don't be fooled by your addictive voice. No person ever in the history of man solved one problem with another problem.
Address each as they relate to one another, not as one big ball of muddled yarn to untangle.
People that don't drink face their set of these problems with what ever tools they have but since alcohol is not a problem for them they may use alcohol as a way to "get away" for a short time. But the problems outside of drinking need work. Hard work.
People that do have a problem with alcohol must face their set of problems in the same way as those that don't drink. Only what we do is try to use a problem to solve a problem. Very much compounding things to unbearable levels.
Please don't be fooled by your addictive voice. No person ever in the history of man solved one problem with another problem.
Address each as they relate to one another, not as one big ball of muddled yarn to untangle.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Bit of both for me I guess, I numbed life away with alcohol, it was a great quick fix for life's problems, but then alcohol slowly progressed to being a problem itself as the addiction took hold and I needed to have a drink, even on days when I was feeling alright about life!!
Keep pushing through TDG, you can do this!!
Keep pushing through TDG, you can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
this morning at my home group a guy celebrating his 5th year sober today said that when he quit drinking, he began to realize that he thought he had a drinking problem but discovered what he really had was a LIVING problem.
We have to be cautious with this one because if we sell ourselves too deeply on the 'drinking's not a problem it's a symptom' - it can be easy to start thinking well, we've got the REAL problems all sorted out so now we can start drinking again.
The core of it seems to be that drinking is BOTH a symptom and a cause. The underlying issue(s) are learning to live life - fully, completely and on life's terms.
But for those of us who have struggled with alcohol, allowing it back into our lives even when we get a system in place for living LIFE - takes our focus away from that system and we're right back to the same place or worse.
We have to be cautious with this one because if we sell ourselves too deeply on the 'drinking's not a problem it's a symptom' - it can be easy to start thinking well, we've got the REAL problems all sorted out so now we can start drinking again.
The core of it seems to be that drinking is BOTH a symptom and a cause. The underlying issue(s) are learning to live life - fully, completely and on life's terms.
But for those of us who have struggled with alcohol, allowing it back into our lives even when we get a system in place for living LIFE - takes our focus away from that system and we're right back to the same place or worse.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
keep on drinking and you will have more and more problems to face each time you sober up. thats what i was told by an old timer in aa
i just kept on losing more and more and because i lost more and more i drank more and more
one day you might wake up without a home to sleep in ? no money, no food, etc these sorts of new problems will make you wish you only had your current problems to face
that is the future for almost all drunks who do nothing about there drinking, there is no escape unless of course the drink is put down.
i thought i was immune from losing everything and it only happens to those who are stupid enough to drink themselves down to that level
but this illness progresses over time, the drinking increases to daily drinking all because its seems like a good idea to have a drink the next day to remove the hang over or to stop the shakes lol then have that first drink and off we go again for another drunken spree
the only way i found help was in the rooms of aa but i had to lose it all before i got there help as i just wasnt ready to give up as i believed anyone would drink if they had my problems, except of course i was wrong as most people wouldn't drink if they had my problems. it was all in my mind
i just kept on losing more and more and because i lost more and more i drank more and more
one day you might wake up without a home to sleep in ? no money, no food, etc these sorts of new problems will make you wish you only had your current problems to face
that is the future for almost all drunks who do nothing about there drinking, there is no escape unless of course the drink is put down.
i thought i was immune from losing everything and it only happens to those who are stupid enough to drink themselves down to that level
but this illness progresses over time, the drinking increases to daily drinking all because its seems like a good idea to have a drink the next day to remove the hang over or to stop the shakes lol then have that first drink and off we go again for another drunken spree
the only way i found help was in the rooms of aa but i had to lose it all before i got there help as i just wasnt ready to give up as i believed anyone would drink if they had my problems, except of course i was wrong as most people wouldn't drink if they had my problems. it was all in my mind
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
This reminds me of the relationship I have had with alcohol. Its like a slow dance with death. For me, not willing to admit the main problem is the alcohol, not wanting to admit I couldnt control it. It really did take me soo long to get that in my soul. It took so many mistakes. I hope your dance doesnt last as long as mine did. Much love and respect TDK. Be strong and safe! Forgive yourself and try again. You can do this!!! You deserve it!! We all do
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Having a reward system in place that reflects and encourages further sobriety, such as replacing 10% of your wardrobe every 90 days, is actually quite healthy. By the time a year rolls around not only will you feel like a new man, you'll look like one, too.
Finally, drinking in moderation for people who visit forums like these is no different than standing on the roof of a tall building, looking over it and then saying to yourself......"I can fly."
Good luck with that.
Finally, drinking in moderation for people who visit forums like these is no different than standing on the roof of a tall building, looking over it and then saying to yourself......"I can fly."
Good luck with that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 205
Even if the main problem isn't alcohol, even if alcohol use is entirely a form of self-medication, and not done for pleasure or social conformity or rebellion, it becomes, for alcoholics, their biggest problem as its overuse is fatal.
An analogy would be taking large doses of Tylenol for migraines and suffering from liver damage as a result. Whether or not you can cure the migraines, you still have to stop taking Tylenol.
An analogy would be taking large doses of Tylenol for migraines and suffering from liver damage as a result. Whether or not you can cure the migraines, you still have to stop taking Tylenol.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
The idea the cure become the disease is absolutely understood. In my reflection I've realized I am dominated and owned by the idea that I can drink again. Good point to those that pointed it out, there is absolutely a turning point where alcohol becomes the obsession and dominates thoughts and human function
What is frightening is that I know that drinking, will lead to uncontrollably drinking, which will most certainly cripple me and own my soul again. Lest I find a new paradigm in thought, a place where I can separate or create a barrier of protection for myself. I believe that barrier is created when we, as alcoholics, look at a universal solution to our problems. Counseling, CBT, rational recovery, AA, Rehab, or any situation where we face the complexities behind the complexity that drives our addiction.
That is a place I haven't found yet, but am actively seeking and wish for everyone else.
What is frightening is that I know that drinking, will lead to uncontrollably drinking, which will most certainly cripple me and own my soul again. Lest I find a new paradigm in thought, a place where I can separate or create a barrier of protection for myself. I believe that barrier is created when we, as alcoholics, look at a universal solution to our problems. Counseling, CBT, rational recovery, AA, Rehab, or any situation where we face the complexities behind the complexity that drives our addiction.
That is a place I haven't found yet, but am actively seeking and wish for everyone else.
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