Soberintexas007

So today my husband and I watched football and then went to a movie on the first of his two days off. The good news is that he did not drink today. The bad news is that on the way home from the movie, he started saying that December/January is too late to move out of my parent's house, and that he wanted to move ASAP. He wasn't that belligerent since he had not been drinking, but it still all made me feel anxious and pressured. I guess the December/January deadline ended up not being good enough for him after all.

Anyways, I had a mini meltdown when I came home to my parent's house and opened up about everything, telling everyone that I am on the brink of breaking down and cannot take this stress anymore. My husband tried to act as if he was willing to wait until Dec./Jan, but I stated that he was not telling the truth and said in the car he wanted to move out now. He then admitted to this, and he told everyone that he did not think I wanted to move out deep down. I told him that I was 50/50, which was influenced by how he was acting in the moment. I also told him that I was scared of him. When he asked why, I told him that I am worried about the times he drinks too much.

Everything ended up settling down after my dad talked to him upstairs, and now my husband is saying that he is willing to wait. My husband and I ended up having a deep, good discussion. I told him that I no longer enjoyed our days off together b/c I am tired of feeling pressured to move out on the way back home. I told him that I am doing my best, and that if he cannot accept my best (which was getting the Dec/Jan deadline), then he should consider other options. I told him that I have knots in my stomach, constant worry and anxiety, and that my work is starting to be affected. He ended up apologizing and said he was glad that we talked, as he did not know that I was scared of him, or that I was feeling this way.

I told him that if he continues to pressure me about moving out before Dec./Jan, then I would not be willing anymore to go out with him on his two days off. He was agreeable to this.

I also opened up to him about this site and the support I am getting, as well as opening up to other employees at my work for support. When he asked why I was doing this, I told him that it was either getting support or going crazy.

We are now watching a movie together. Only time will tell...

KateL

You're moving in the right direction so that's good xxx

unsureoffuture

It is great to hear you are starting to set boundaries. You gave the Dec/Jan timeframe for moving out and you are sticking with it beacuse that is what is best for you. Good for you for enforcing your boundary!!! That shows how much you are growing and healing. You are also acknowledging there is a problem by admitting to your coworkers and others about it. I remember when I did that, it felt so freeing like a huge weight lifted. I no longer had to keep it all bottled up inside. Good luck on your journey.