HopePeace

Hi guys. I was here a couple of months ago while trying to quit drinking because of the relationship problems it was causing. I went 3 weeks sober and then started to see if I could drink in moderation, 1-2 drinks, don't get drunk etc. It was working for a while and then I started to drink more again. My boyfriend drinks daily, has his own issues with alcohol and I guess it is hard to be around that and stay sober. I drank Thurs, Fri and last night. Nothing good came from any of those nights and last night caused another horrible argument/catastrophe of a night with my boyfriends brother. I only remember bits and peices again, some parts of the night are completely blacked out, some I remember. Don't remember what I said. I am embarassed and feel horrible about my actions. I really need someone to talk to who has been in these positions before. My friends and family support me but it is so hard to pin point why I do these things when drinking. I am not a nice person when I drink, I don't realize how stupid I am being until the next day when I wake up confused, feeling awful with horrible anxiety that has yet to let up since 8:30 am. I just don't know what to do.

PurpleKnight

For me not drinking for a while didn't cure or fix me, that 1st drink, not immediatly, but after a while would spiral as bad as ever, how could abstinence cure me? why would things not be exactly the same?

Sobriety and changing my relationship with alcohol was the change to my life that I needed to focus on, nothing changes if nothing changes!!

SoberHoopsFan

Realistically, if you were a neutral observer and someone came to you and said they absolutely wanted to quit drinking yet they were hanging around someone all the time that drinks daily, what would your advice be? Do you think that the best way to quit alcohol is to spend a lot of time around a daily drinker?

These are the types of tough questions you may have to start asking yourself if you want to get more serious about quitting.

Purpleknight said it, nothing changes if nothing changes...

opalblue

Hopepeace I think you know what you need to do. You need to focus on being sober.

instant

We are not our best we drink. We do and say things we regret. "Why" doesn't really help- the solution is obvious.

I tried moderating and controlling. Its no fun when sucessful (that feeling of missing out, being held back etc) and anyway I could never sustain it.

I am now sober over three years. it has given me more than i dreamed.

KateL

As I just said on another thread, I could go ages without a drink but still acted terribly when I had one. xxxx

IOAA2

Hi. I tried many different ways to drink at the end of my drinking period. In short order they all failed because I cannot drink alcohol in safety and had to accept that as a fact. The emotional part of us is short circuited by alcohol by the undisciplined thinking we do when and after drinking. It takes time and work to get and stay sober however it’s certainly worth it.

BE WELL

HopePeace

Thank you all for responding. It helps so much to hear from you and know I am not alone. When I said I don't know what to do, I do realize I can't drink anymore and know that I need to stay sober. I just don't know what to do to make it through the days of horrible anxiety and feeling like a horrible person. I have a class for work today and things to do for school and I just want to lay in bed and sleep it all away to get through it. I just don't ever want to feel this way again. I know being sober is the answer but it doesn't fix how I feel today.

Inchworm

Try accepting how you feel today. We alcoholics have a hard time accepting the yuck days