I'm a recovering alcoholic, but my husband still drinks.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Greenville, NC
Posts: 1
I'm a recovering alcoholic, but my husband still drinks.
I've been sober over 5 years - but my husband still drinks heavily. He rarely spends an evening sober, and all of our social outings revolve around alcohol - and he is PLOWED at almost all of them. He claims he's not an alcoholic, yet won't go to a movie or to other places he can't drink. He says he cares about me, but isn't it extremely insensitive to act this way around your recovering spouse? Are there other spouses out there that have the same struggle?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
Your sobriety is yours and shouldn't be dependant on anyone else, a spouse may drink and they are free to do so, expecting him to quit also would be unreasonable, though saying that he should still be considerate about your sobriety!!
5 years is fantastic, you must be doing something right!!
Your sobriety is yours and shouldn't be dependant on anyone else, a spouse may drink and they are free to do so, expecting him to quit also would be unreasonable, though saying that he should still be considerate about your sobriety!!
5 years is fantastic, you must be doing something right!!
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
Hi Gratefulgourmet
I have been sober for 2 years , my hubby drinks heavily daily. The more sober time I have the more issues I see in our marriage. I struggle with the resentment I hold towards him drinking (the time and money he spends) AND I resent his behaviour he displays at times when he drinks. I won't bore you with my list of all his behaviours i resent.
I resent the lack of intimacy in our marriage (at least 3 years). At times I am repulsed by him physically when he has been drinking.
Occasionally the AV chats at me , as there is always alcohol in my house and he ALWAYS falls asleep on the lounge leaving half a glass of wine (my old drink). In early sobriety I had to tip it down the sink when the AV started , now I only do if I am being spiteful.
I just wanted to let you know , you are not alone.
I have been sober for 2 years , my hubby drinks heavily daily. The more sober time I have the more issues I see in our marriage. I struggle with the resentment I hold towards him drinking (the time and money he spends) AND I resent his behaviour he displays at times when he drinks. I won't bore you with my list of all his behaviours i resent.
I resent the lack of intimacy in our marriage (at least 3 years). At times I am repulsed by him physically when he has been drinking.
Occasionally the AV chats at me , as there is always alcohol in my house and he ALWAYS falls asleep on the lounge leaving half a glass of wine (my old drink). In early sobriety I had to tip it down the sink when the AV started , now I only do if I am being spiteful.
I just wanted to let you know , you are not alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Congratulations on 5 years of recovery.
I would not be happy if all our social activities revolved around alcohol. That wouldn't work for me. Have you talked to your husband about your feelings?
I would not be happy if all our social activities revolved around alcohol. That wouldn't work for me. Have you talked to your husband about your feelings?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Hi Grateful,
I have been sober a year and my husband's drinking bothers me. I have made my sobriety about me, and his drinking will not influence me to drink because I I like being sober and I see how unattractive drinking is. But I do resent that he drinks to excess on a regular basis and claims there isn't a problem. Nope, you are not alone.
I have been sober a year and my husband's drinking bothers me. I have made my sobriety about me, and his drinking will not influence me to drink because I I like being sober and I see how unattractive drinking is. But I do resent that he drinks to excess on a regular basis and claims there isn't a problem. Nope, you are not alone.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I was a child of this environment and I hated my dad for it
My dad would drink in another room my my. The alcoholic used to buy it for him
I know !!!!!!!
I broke his legs once and they had to rrun build them with titanium there's a lot more that I'm not going into here
I hated him for that and now my mum is dead she died sober and was so for over 10 years
Can't stand ppl drinking around someone is getting sober say what u want it's wrong in my eyes
Even worse when they get the alcoholic to get it for them
My dad would drink in another room my my. The alcoholic used to buy it for him
I know !!!!!!!
I broke his legs once and they had to rrun build them with titanium there's a lot more that I'm not going into here
I hated him for that and now my mum is dead she died sober and was so for over 10 years
Can't stand ppl drinking around someone is getting sober say what u want it's wrong in my eyes
Even worse when they get the alcoholic to get it for them
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
My drinking partner was quite detrimental to my sobriety so we separated. (well decided not to live together) He has sober time and I see him then and we get along famously, but I am lucky because if he's sloshed, I have my own home and can avoid him under those circumstances. I hope you can work it out xxx
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