Afraid of future relapse
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
Afraid of future relapse
Good morning everyone. Just woke up on day 30 sober. Feeling really great thus far.
However, something has been on my mind lately. I tend to look too far into the future. I get myself all worried over things that haven't/might not even happen.
That being said, I've been reading about a lot of people who relapse after having many, many years of sobriety. That terrifies me. I signed up for this site in June. I made a half hearted attempt at sobriety and I do believe I only made it 2 or 3 days. I finally decided to stick with it starting July 26th. Before that, I had been sober twice for a month in the past because I was trying to lose weight, not because I had any intention of quitting for good. So, that being said, I guess you might say that this is my first REAL attempt at sobriety.
Anywho, I'm really happy with my sobriety an things going on with my life. When I think about drinking, I get physically ill. I guess that may have to do with all the regret and disgust I feel towards myself when I drank. So I don't see any alcohol in my future... For now.
Like I said though, reading about people who relapsed after years of sobriety makes me question if I'll ever be able to stay sober. I believe I will now, but no one can foresee the future. If people slip with YEARS of sobriety, I feel like I don't have any hope. I hope that makes sense.
However, something has been on my mind lately. I tend to look too far into the future. I get myself all worried over things that haven't/might not even happen.
That being said, I've been reading about a lot of people who relapse after having many, many years of sobriety. That terrifies me. I signed up for this site in June. I made a half hearted attempt at sobriety and I do believe I only made it 2 or 3 days. I finally decided to stick with it starting July 26th. Before that, I had been sober twice for a month in the past because I was trying to lose weight, not because I had any intention of quitting for good. So, that being said, I guess you might say that this is my first REAL attempt at sobriety.
Anywho, I'm really happy with my sobriety an things going on with my life. When I think about drinking, I get physically ill. I guess that may have to do with all the regret and disgust I feel towards myself when I drank. So I don't see any alcohol in my future... For now.
Like I said though, reading about people who relapsed after years of sobriety makes me question if I'll ever be able to stay sober. I believe I will now, but no one can foresee the future. If people slip with YEARS of sobriety, I feel like I don't have any hope. I hope that makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. Your concern is legitimate as most do have relapses and can for various reasons never attain long sobriety. One reason is we have a tendency to forget the pain involved to get us here or meetings. Then the thinking says one won’t hurt you, or we get upset about something and say the heck with it, and on and on.
The bottom line is we don’t pick up the first drink even if our azz falls off.
There is work to do also and without it many fall to the wayside, if doing the work we become undisciplined back into our old ways of handling our emotions and slip.
We stay sober by not drinking.
BE WELL
The bottom line is we don’t pick up the first drink even if our azz falls off.
There is work to do also and without it many fall to the wayside, if doing the work we become undisciplined back into our old ways of handling our emotions and slip.
We stay sober by not drinking.
BE WELL
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Congratulations on 30 days. Fantastic!
What part of your brain has a vested interest in you losing hope in maintaining your sobriety? Might it be the part that is addicted to alcohol? Mine does. Mine tells me all the time that drinking again is inevitable, so why wait? Just another one of the many lies it has told me over the last 2.5 decades.
No one has ever poured alcohol into my face without my consent. I've been off the wagon plenty of times, but I never fell off of it. I always jumped. I always had a say in the matter and I always will. Unless you are living in some bizarre parallel universe, so do you.
30 days is awesome, but my thinking didn't start to get clearer until 90+. Keep up the good work. Whatever you are doing is getting you toward your goal of a sober life.
You might want to read these for a while: Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You can do this.
What part of your brain has a vested interest in you losing hope in maintaining your sobriety? Might it be the part that is addicted to alcohol? Mine does. Mine tells me all the time that drinking again is inevitable, so why wait? Just another one of the many lies it has told me over the last 2.5 decades.
No one has ever poured alcohol into my face without my consent. I've been off the wagon plenty of times, but I never fell off of it. I always jumped. I always had a say in the matter and I always will. Unless you are living in some bizarre parallel universe, so do you.
30 days is awesome, but my thinking didn't start to get clearer until 90+. Keep up the good work. Whatever you are doing is getting you toward your goal of a sober life.
You might want to read these for a while: Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
have you had a drink today ?
that is all you need worry about is how you are today not tomorrow or next year as there not here yet
it took me a very long time to start to learn how to just live in the here and now
how i started to learn was by coming to see i was not living in the day and my head would be to busy thinking about tomorrow or next year or way way out into the future
a bit of meditation helped me to slow my head down. but i really had to start to learn to live in the here and now and leave what ever is going to happen in the future to the future
if i can do somthing about anything in my life then i do it, if i can not do anything then why waste time worrying over something that i can not do anything about ?
that is all you need worry about is how you are today not tomorrow or next year as there not here yet
it took me a very long time to start to learn how to just live in the here and now
how i started to learn was by coming to see i was not living in the day and my head would be to busy thinking about tomorrow or next year or way way out into the future
a bit of meditation helped me to slow my head down. but i really had to start to learn to live in the here and now and leave what ever is going to happen in the future to the future
if i can do somthing about anything in my life then i do it, if i can not do anything then why waste time worrying over something that i can not do anything about ?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Congrats on day 30 rosie!
Carl and others are right. Concentrate on today. Thats all you can controll and all that matters right now. When today turns into tomottow then concentrate on it then.
Gets a bit overwhelming for me too when I start thinking out for extended periods.
Today is all I can controll, and today will be a good sober day.
Carl and others are right. Concentrate on today. Thats all you can controll and all that matters right now. When today turns into tomottow then concentrate on it then.
Gets a bit overwhelming for me too when I start thinking out for extended periods.
Today is all I can controll, and today will be a good sober day.
Molotov Kitty!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 60
Good job Rosie,
One of the things that has really helped me feel more confident at preventing relapse, was to make a list of things required to continue my recovery and prevent relapse. I believe I started with one that was posted here and added/removed it. I has also shared this list with my therapist to has a "professional" review and feedback. At times, I go back to it and actively modify it. I view it as a living document and try to review it from time to time.
I did a quick search for the thread, but was unable to find it.
Relapse is my biggest fear as well, but that fear is merited. I bounced along in and out of binges along the way. It shows you are starting to protect and value your sobriety.
Best,
Jeff
One of the things that has really helped me feel more confident at preventing relapse, was to make a list of things required to continue my recovery and prevent relapse. I believe I started with one that was posted here and added/removed it. I has also shared this list with my therapist to has a "professional" review and feedback. At times, I go back to it and actively modify it. I view it as a living document and try to review it from time to time.
I did a quick search for the thread, but was unable to find it.
Relapse is my biggest fear as well, but that fear is merited. I bounced along in and out of binges along the way. It shows you are starting to protect and value your sobriety.
Best,
Jeff
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
Thanks everyone! I really need to focus on today as you have all said. I always focus on the future and get really neurotic about it.
I just need to get my head together. It's hard to stop those invasive thought! Maybe I will look into meditation.
Thanks for the insight!
I just need to get my head together. It's hard to stop those invasive thought! Maybe I will look into meditation.
Thanks for the insight!
Molotov Kitty!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 60
I have just started looking to that myself... I found a good meditation streaming station on iRadio... It was nice just to have in on in the background instead of whatever else I use as background noise.
Keep going!
Keep going!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 76
It's OK to have those thoughts and fears. It's normal for us to have those thoughts! I have them, people in AA in my town have them, I'm sure people other than you have them. This is where one day at a time really comes into play.
ODAAT has taken on much more meaning now that I've got some distance between myself and the drink. Sure you can think about next year or some future event or concert, but if you aren't there yet it doesn't make much sense to give the thoughts any power.
Concentrate on today- are you going to relapse today? Today is what you have, not tomorrow.
ODAAT has taken on much more meaning now that I've got some distance between myself and the drink. Sure you can think about next year or some future event or concert, but if you aren't there yet it doesn't make much sense to give the thoughts any power.
Concentrate on today- are you going to relapse today? Today is what you have, not tomorrow.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,352
That worries me too. There have been many comments from people who use after long term sobriety on here. The biggest reason I can see is that people feel as if they can handle it somehow or try to moderate. That one started coming at me before I even reached one year. The longer you can make it the stronger you will become. Use that fear to figure out a plan if those thoughts come at you. What works for me is posting here and talking it out.
Congrtas on 30 days. There isn't a lot of statistic talk on SR but data shows that once a person reaches 5 years of sobriety relapse is uncommon.
Congrtas on 30 days. There isn't a lot of statistic talk on SR but data shows that once a person reaches 5 years of sobriety relapse is uncommon.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
That fear is pure AV, the part of you that will do anything for a drink and tries to convince you that you will drink again. You don't have to listen to it or debate it. YOU are the one in control, the decision-maker. Congrats on 30 days.
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