lizzy1988

hello all,
I'm new to sober recovery. I have come here with the hope that I might read something that will help me with my struggles. I have been married to an addict for 3 years, did not realize there was a problem until almost a year after our wedding. along with finding out about my husbands addiction I learned of his infidelity as well. I have been heartbroken ever since and have had a very difficult time trying to wrap my head around everything, however I committed myself to trying to recover, as did he. for almost a year things were going well, until I noticed once again a shift in his behaviour. exactly one year after I found everything out, he admitted to me that things were spiralling out of control for him again. his drug of choice is cocaine, and the amount of money wasted on it makes me sick to my stomach.
I once again had to uncover for myself the fact that he once again looked for some casual encounter through Facebook, Craigslist etc. i don't understand the relationship between addiction and infidelity.
I feel it is so hard to be supportive of him and his recovery when he lies to me about so much. again he is trying to get sober, I am trying to focus on myself, but every time I feel like I'm rebuilding that trust, allowing myself to become vulnerable again and again, he lies about something and I crumble.

Soberwolf

Hi just want you to know I have experienced this and its horrible and I done the same just kept on blocking it out but who suffers even more because of it we do !

In the end we stayed together every now and then I get thoughts buts that's where I leave it I have to its hard but right thing to do

But we are happier now how much this means to you I'm not sure but there is always hope for a newcomer

And I'm glad you posted
Well done for posting keep it up

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR, we also have a friends and family section which might be worth checking out also!!

The important thing is to look after yourself in all of this!! It's great to have you here!!

GotGrace

Welcome, lizzy! I am glad you are here but I am very sorry for what you are going through. As purpleknight mentioned, you might find help in the Friends and Family forum too. I hope you will continue to read and post!

Anna

Welcome, you will find lots of support here.

27cougar

Welcome, I feel your pain, similar situation. SR is a great place to read and share with no judgement.

lizzy1988

Thanks very much for the response, it's nice to know there are people who can relate, that's been one of the most difficult parts, not having people who understand. I appreciate the tips.

Coldfusion

Lizzy, many communities have Al Anon Family Groups, which could be helpful in your situation.

Please read around and post often--it helps!

Spinach

Loosing control can mean just that!
Good luck and apart from supporting you both need to decide where you both want to go and if you want to go together.
Good luck.
John.

autumn2

I can definitely relate. The money spent on this stuff is ridiculous. My dh is also an active addict. I haven't found any signs of him cheating,but who knows. Nothing surprises me anymore. I always said that that is it if he cheats, I could never stand to be around him. It just wouldn't work. I would be so pissed I couldn't help myself from punching him in the face every time he looked at me.

I also didn't think that I would be o.k. with $50,$60,$70 a day being spent on him getting high either. But,he's doing it,and I've allowed it.

ughh,this stuff causes so much dysfunction.