sherri

I went to an AA meeting a few weeks ago. I was enthused until the 90 days, 90 meetings part. I need support, but I don't want to hear or talk about it every single day. I drink once or twice a week, but I don't stop at one or two drinks and sometimes can't function the next day, like calling in sick to work. I also have HCV, so I know I have a problem if I can't abstain to save my own life. Aren't there people out there who quit without going to meetings every day?

3legacy

Sherri:
Sorry I missed you in chatroom moments ago. I am still there. 90 meetings in 90 days has always made me look askance as well. I don't see it anywhere listed in the AA Big Book and am told it comes out of treatment centers which are not affiliated with AA. I do not attend meetings every day but seldom a few days pass without encounters with other alcoholics in my life. I think living inside meeting halls sends the wrong message to an alcoholic myself.

Love to chat with you if you have time.

(((((((((((Sherri))))))))),
ThreeLegs

vegancat

If you can get a chance, check out Sober For Good, by Anne Fletcher; it explores some different methods besides AA, including Women For Sobriety, SMART, and Secular Organizations For Sobriety. All of these methods also do not really focus on a higher power, but on YOU taking control, instead (so that works better for some people, not for others).

Since these are less known methods, though, they aren't as widespread as AA in terms of face to face meetings. But they all have websites, message boards, online meetings, literature, etc. if there isn't a group nearby to attend.

Dan

Hi Sherri, and welcome!
The 90 in 90 is purely a suggestion.
No way does it have to be done to derive the benefits of AA.
Some longtimers in the program like to thump it though!
You'll find a host of AA alternatives.
Good luck.

Moontime

Agree, it's a suggestion that has worked for Tens of thousands upon Tens of thousands of people. What you put in it, is what you get out of it. IF something else works, go for it, as long as it keeps you clean.

degadar

Hi Sherri,

I'm nearly 13 months sober thanks to the DA - Degs An-arse. I couldn't really be doing with all the mumbo-jumbo that seemed to be involved with the AA - and it suited me much better to do it alone.

I figured that the fight was always between me and the drink alone. If I couldn't do it myself I never would. And all that - I'm powerless, I'm diseased, I'm spiritually unclean stuff makes me shudder. erk.

I'm sure I'm not normal though and If there was a way of meeting occasionally with people like me - just even for a coffee and a chat about politics/sport or whatever - It would have made it a much less lonely journey.

It's free - give it a chance, steal all their good ideas, and look for alternatives at the same time, give up drink and conquor the world.

Deg.

Boy my head hurts today.

Alice Wonder

I do a combo of therapy, meetings, and active support from friends and family. I like the meetings, the fellowship, and the people involved. I think the program really works. you know what is best for you though and you may need to work out a combination of things to feel comfortable. you would be doing 90 days for you... not to please AA so take that into consideration and good luck!! love- alice

Osakis

My brother is also turned off by the spirituality focus of AA, so he quit going. I wish there was one of those other programs available in our area, but AA is the only game in town.

Kgm

1Marty

I can only share my experience. We all need to find what works for ourselves. I have tried controlled drinking, will power, Cutting back. All with no long term success. I have so far been sober for almost 5 months now. Durring this time I have been involved with AA and have been working the 12 steps. The 90 meetings in 90 days is only a suggestion. I couldn't do it. I also didn't want to do it. And I'm still sober. Best of luck in your search for sobriety.

sherri

Thanks for all of your replies. I at least feel better that I'm not the only one who doesn't feel completely comfortable with AA. I know it's a great program that has saved many lives. Why do I always have to be different? I would like to keep on chatting, though. So, I hope to talk to you soon. Thanks again.

Stephanie

Hi Sherry and welcome to SR. I hope you do decide to keep posting. Soberrecovery is not an AA web-site, although many members do attend meetings. There are alternatives to AA and you'll find them on the resources section of the web-site. AA has worked for many people myself included but you have to do what works for you.

Birddog

Sherry, if you find something that keeps you sober and happy, you come back here and let us know.
I spent years and years and years looking for something else also since my Dad was eager-beaver AA and I couldn't stand it.

The 90 days is just a rule of thumb, I found the best way was just to come to meetings till you start honestly enjoying coming to them, than you can stop attending if you so desire.

kckman

Sherri, glad you wrote this thread. it goes to show the open mindedness of these people. i agree there is no 1 right way. the only for sure way i can see is to remain abstanant. i have used rational recovery it was started by Jack Trimpey. i would strongly recommend reading his book R.R. or visiting the web site rational recovery.com for more info. it is all good but i believe one needs to find what works to remain abstanant. i am becoming free of being paralized by intoxication and hangovers. i am finding time to discover lots and lots of better things to do with my time now.