KissMyTiara

How do you handle meeting someone and beginning a relationship with someone that is a normal drinker if you want to kiss them?

They have a beer or a drink. No problem for them but the taste on the kiss?

I've seen so many threads about you can't even take a tiny taste of anything ever.

How does this work?

MIRecovery

IMO I think a good kiss out weighs the risk of the alcohol. For me I find the smell to be more of a trigger than the taste

soberjuly

go for the guy sipping iced tea sorry couldn't resist...

This is an interesting post because when I think of it, I think all my prior BFs/husbands have rarely, on a blue moon, drank, and never more than me - I can out drink any guy I think (Scandinavian genes)...guess the ex-English husband was the only one who drank (and only in London) - he would have maybe 2 pints of lager at most...He absolutely never had a mixed drink, thought they were for wusses, and he never drank wine. I didn't drink alcohol and it never bothered me.

But I don't like beer. So that would never trigger me. This post must be the most unhelpful post in the history of posts, sorry!

But seriously, I would avoid any hard drinking frat boy types. Don't meet guys for relationships in nightclubs...you know the usual advice your mom probably gave you! Good luck!

LBrain

I'm sure if you can taste it you can smell it.

Depends on how much sober time you have, how you deal with triggers and how much you trust yourself. There are other things to consider too. Does he have money to burn or other qualities that would mak e you risk sobriety? It ain't worth it.

soberjuly

I have to agree here. You said someone who drinks like a normal drinker...but does everyone drink? There are plenty that don't. I have had 7 relationships (3 became husbands and 4 were boyfriends) and none of them drank on any kind of regular basis. It was very rare and when they drank, they didn't drink much.

ClearLight

If you kiss somebody and it makes you think of alcohol then that's a bad kiss.

Kissing should make you think of something other than drinking... if you catch my drift.

KissMyTiara

I am talking about dating. Usually the normal drinker might have a beer or two. If you kiss then what? Or if the relationship goes further and the person has a drink and wants some hanky panky do you say no?

Maybe this whole thread is silly.

LastMistake

I don't think it's silly to wonder about these sorts of things. I've never really been in a relationship with anyone who drinks, and have usually been the drinker, so I can't say how that affected them wanting a kiss. Though I can imagine having several mixed drinks may imply to someone that I drank "too much" to be attractive. It's sort of like smoking cigs. It doesn't bother me if someone I was with smoked them, but I could see how someone meeting me for the first time may be turned off. People take health very seriously and though I have not in my past I can certainly understand why.

Nuudawn

Good Lord...I had even thought this far down the line lol. And in doing so now, I probably wouldn't be having no make out session with someone smelly drunk.

I have actually just started dating a "normie" I guess you would call him. On our first date..he had two beers and well, there was only a hug anyway. On the second date..he had one beer at dinner...and the somewhat chaste goodnight kiss came hours after the dude had a beer. I never even gave his previous libation a thought. Didn't cross my mind whatsoever..nor did smell it on him in the kiss or hug.

3rd date.. (okay ..still no making out as of yet..lol). There was no alcohol imbibed.

I honestly don't think this will be an issue for me...geez, if we EVER get to the making out lol. He's not the sort who drinks more than two in a sitting and well, if he does on an given occasion..he can talk to the hand (har de har har).

soberjuly

Usually the man asks what you want to drink first and if you say iced tea, they don't order an alcoholic drink. I have never had a guy order a drink if I haven't ordered a drink. They usually meet your response. They are usually getting a feel for who you are. Best thing is to just get out there and date and you will learn how to deal with those situations better.

Flying4Life

It doesn't bother me. Drunken behaviour would be a huge turn off. But the yeasty smell of beer on my bf's breath actually reminds me of bread making more than drinking. When we kiss I am focused on him and the experience of kissing, not thinking about what he has just ingested.

Nocturnal

I haven't been sober or dated women for about 18 yrs but just to be on the safe side if I do start looking for a woman I am not hooking up with a drinker, about 10 yrs ago I had a agoraphobia phase so I tried to quit drinking , but it was over the holidays and this very drunk young chick came up and kissed me , well just the taste of screwdriver on her lips made me fall off the wagon.

randomalias

Wow I had no idea the compulsion could be that strong...

FreeOwl

For me.... The taste of alcohol isn't going to send me off in a bender.

I have a solid foundation in sobriety and if my lady wants a beer it doesn't tempt me. That said she drinks very little and very infrequently.

A couple of times in the past year, her having had a beer at a gathering was kind of unpleasant to the taste - just because for the first time in my life I actually noticed the taste of beer breath because I wasn't the one stinking of it!

Makes me realize what a lousy experience it must have been for women in my past relationships when I was totally soused and they weren't drinking....

Soberwolf

Ive never thought about this because ive never had to ...

i would like to know from anyone with sober time how they feel on this if they have kissed someone who was drunk while in sobriety ?

thanks for this thread

Aellyce

Yeah... back in the spring. It wasn't a good experience at all, what comes to mind as a metaphor is a mild reaction to Antabuse Was great as negative reinforcement for a while because I remembered the whole sensation vividly for a while. I am pretty sure I would not go anywhere near again. Thinking about it more, I actually think the behavioral signs of intoxication bothered me more than smell/taste, but it was the whole impression.

Partner having drinks non-excessively and infrequently does not bother me, but no drunks, thank you

Foolsgold186

Hi guys,

I'll be sober 6 months in a few weeks and my boyfriend is a "normal" drinker. Does it bother me kissing him when he's had a few? Not in the slightest! Its not something that even crosses my mind, the problem is mine and mine alone.

If he was fall down drunk/annoying then no smooching would be happening but moreso because of the annoying factor and not for the smell/taste.

Guess we're all different but it doesnt matter to me.

L x

chickippo

what Foolsgold said.

i've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. i was 17 days sober when i met him - i am now 231 days!

he does drink beer, and regularly. it doesn't bother me in the slightest, kissing him. i don't smell or taste the booze, it's just lovely snogging.

so, beer is not an issue. spirits would be a dealbreaker - i can't be around anyone who drinks spirits regularly in any case as it still feels unsafe for me. fortunately not a problem with this guy.

it's all good. i don't feel triggered around him, and i LOVE kissing him!

Leshar

Just want to say, Chickippo, glad to see you're doing so well and are happy with your partner. I remember the terrible struggles you've had.

autan

My Wife drinks wine, when she goes out and when she kisses me, yes you can taste the alcohol, but I can taste alcohol in Spaghetti Bolognese that she makes.
They is a whole world of difference between smelling and tasting, to drinking like I use to.

If all I ever used to do was smell, sniff or taste alcohol, I would have saved myself a whole heap of trouble.

Dont think about the booze, think about the hanky panky and dont forget most pregancy occur when one or both parties do not use protection.