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Nightmare scenario- Kid Rock concert, lol

Old 08-20-2014, 10:41 AM
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Nightmare scenario- Kid Rock concert, lol

Hi all! So, here is a weird one that I need/want to get through this weekend. In addition to all my 'classy and intellectual' pursuits, I was once a poor Detroit kid, who loved (and still loves) Kid Rock, haha!

I have tickets, with 3 friends, to see him at a beer-drenched concert this weekend, and I am REALLY hoping to not have any issues. 2 of my friends know my situation already, and are supportive, so I think I will be okay (and they will watch over- rather than discourage- my sobriety).

Am I crazy, or should I be trying to get back to life, and to ENJOYING life (just booze-free)?
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:53 AM
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We live in a society where it seems that alcohol is everywhere so you can’t spend your life not doing the things that you love just to avoid it. Not everyone may agree but since you understand the potential hazards and will have support with you, I think it would be OK for you to attend the concert. You may even find out you enjoy the music more when you are sober.
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:00 AM
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If you are a fan, do you not think you would enjoy the concert sober? I attended a music event last year sober (of someone I was a big fan of). In all honesty, I did almost lose my sobriety on that trip..but that had more to do with being alone...when I wasn't supposed to have been...than triggered by people enjoying 'bevies" around me.

For me I am not so much triggered by others drinking...but rather when I am "emotionally overwhelmed", frustrated, angry, full of anxiety etc.

Will you be frustrated by the fact that others are drinking at concert? Will you feel left out? If you cannot be optimistic about enjoying every moment of Kid Rock with stone cold sober clarity (which is cool isn't it?)...I dunno.

(Of note: my stone cold sober clarity at the concert I attended last year? Ya..I am no longer a fan of the artist..sad but true)
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:04 AM
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I went to a concert newly sober and it was hard. My husband and I seemed the only 2 people not drinking. But drunk people are interesting to watch sober...
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:04 AM
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Hobbers:

Its funny you should even bring this up. I actually gave my Tesla tickets (showing my age) away to some friends as I knew there was no way I could deal with the live music / not drinking at this stage of the game. I love concerts.

I know I just posted about going out with friends tonight. But some situations I "feel" I can handle and there are some I know I wont. I actually cancelled my plans tonight too. I am just not there yet.

You know what you can and cant do at this stage of the game. I agree with Alaskachick, we cant hide under a rock. But I am under the thought..."all in due time." If you do go, be strong and stay the course and have a blast.
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:14 AM
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Think long and hard about this. I am also of the thought that you shouldn't give up everything just because you are sober, but you need to think about what you can and cannot handle. For example, my alcohol of choice is wine. I have foudn that I can serve and watch others enjoying wine at my own home when I entertain. It isn't easy per se, but doable. I feel safe and ok in my own home. But I have found that going out is a challenge. I cannot go to parties or dinners comfortably yet. This is just me and my example. Maybe you can enjoy a concert without alcohol but you can't host a party at your home with everyone drinking. YOu need to think about it and decide for yourself. But, put your sobriety first, if there is any doubt, don't go.
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:34 AM
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Sober concerts are fantastic, but in early Sobriety they can be tough, there's no shame in not going if you think it's going to be too much!!

It's great that you have friends that hopefully won't be putting pressure on you to drink, that's important, also watch out for the pre concert and post concert drinking time, you don't need to attend those, just the concert!!
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:34 AM
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If it was me, I would not go.

It would be too hard and too stressful and if I did make it through the evening without drinking, I'd end up drinking the next day.
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:37 AM
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Depends on how longsober you are. If you are in the early weeks I would honestly not go. There will always be other concerts. Whilst some may say you can't avoid alcohol forever you can try your best to avoid it in the difficult early weeks and not put yourself in painful situations which may well compromise your sobriety

Be honest with yourself. Do you really think you will go to a booze drenched concert and not drink? Do you think you'll feel comfortable not drinking? Will your friends all be drinking,patting you on the back and say oh go on mater just have a beer? will you?
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:37 AM
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Smile

Hobbers: I should explain that during the four year period that I was drinking heavily I did attend a few concerts with my ex-husband and my teenage sons and their friends. Since I only drank at night when I was alone (in order to self-medicate) and I was with a non-drinking group, the alcohol at the concerts was never an issue for me. You need really make sure that the beer at the concert won’t temp you. If you go to the concert and spend too much time thinking about the booze all around you that might sap all the fun out of the concert. I guess my point with my first comment was that you will be tested at some point and it’s probably better to do it with friends who know your situation and have your back. With that said best of luck to you whatever you decide to do.
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Old 08-20-2014, 11:40 AM
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That is me, Alaska- NO problems, generally, drinking in social/public situations. I am a closet/late-night/alone drunk.

Hence why I am less worried, perhaps, than some here.

(I say this now- let's see how I am by Sunday...)
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Old 08-20-2014, 12:01 PM
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I associate certain music with my past drinking and using so for me there is NO WAY I'd be going. The fact that you posted about it means you have some reserve, so be careful! This disease will fool us every-time...

That's being said, I do think once we have recovered from this disease that we can do and go anywhere without the obsession to drink. I'm not sure how much recovery you have or if you're even working a program of recovery, so just some things to keep in mind.
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Old 08-20-2014, 12:06 PM
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As long as your friends understand how critical it is for you to not drink - and they are your chaperones - I think have fun and enjoy it.

When I went to my neighbor for some pre-season MNF my wife said, "No beer." As usual. I told my friend this and he said, "I won't let you drink even if you begged me." That's the kind of people you need to be around.
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Old 08-20-2014, 12:42 PM
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That's what I believe I have. "Not even if you begged me' friends. They are a good lot.
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Old 08-20-2014, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
Sober concerts are fantastic, but in early Sobriety they can be tough, there's no shame in not going if you think it's going to be too much!!
you got that right. but in early recovery? for me that woulda been asking to be led from temptation and then walkin into it.

I was still apprehensive attending my 1st concert sober. there was a group of sober people I went with. it was pretty awesome!! I think the thing that really rocked me was seein not everyone there was drinkin or getting high.
but in early recovery??/ too much temptation.
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Old 08-20-2014, 01:13 PM
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tomsteve, that's one of things about not drinking and being aware of it I noticed. Far fewer people are drinking or getting loaded than I imagined in the past. I thought everyone else was a drunk too.
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Old 08-20-2014, 03:58 PM
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I remember posting here on day three that I needed to road test my sobriety.

Actually the real reason was I didn't want my life to change at all....

I made it through sober but I damn nearly came unstuck...and this wasn't a concert this was just a mate's place.

It's your decision so weigh it up carefully...think about your priorities.

D
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Old 08-20-2014, 04:10 PM
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and I am REALLY hoping to not have any issues.

Hobbers,
hope is good but pretty much useless when it comes to this kind of stuff.

planning is better.

plan what to do IF you suddenly get ambushed by craving and think you can have just one.
plan on having your own transportation out of there if it gets too much, so that you can leave any time.
plan on what you'll have in your hand to drink instead of a beer bottle.
plan on not going if you start feeling really iffy about this and start hearing any voice that speaks of "last hurrahs" or any such nonsense.
plan on having a good time once all the other plans are in place.
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Old 08-20-2014, 04:28 PM
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I agree with proceed cautiously... I personally have not quite stepped this boundary, but I have stepped through plenty of other minefields.

It is great that you have a plan, etcs.... Seems some have made it, so have had problems. It's like that with everything we begin doing and trying to live what we consider our new normal.

A side note, I did have a friend who went to a Tesla concert. She had done a week inpatient program and had been sober for 8 1/2 months. At the concert, she slipped into self justification mode.... "I will just have one beer"... I believe she ended up having three... Certainly not out of control by most standards.

Where the problem lied is then, she continued afterwards. Slowly.... and the cycle on attempted moderation began. She is drinking again now pretty hard.

You know thyself. You have to answer the question. The plans are great.... Have a plan B, plan C, go out in the parking lot if things become issues for you. I can sit in a bar and not drink, but I find there is little benefit in even put myself in the situation. Now seeing Kid Rock, some benefit... I am a fan too...

"Now get in the pit a try to love someone!", even if that means yourself first.
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Old 08-20-2014, 05:36 PM
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Hobbers,

I went to a Cher concert on day 4 of sobriety. There was just no way I was going to miss it and it was incredible. My guy drank four beers right next to me. I ordered a Coke. I think it's really important to have something cold in a cup to replace the booze we would have been drinking.

On the way to the concert I knew with every cell in my body that I would not drink and I didn't. I think you most of us know on the way to an event if there is even a 0.001% chance that we are open to drinking. It also sounds good that you have supportive friends going with you.

I don't consider concerts a big deal. There is a liquor store within 60 seconds of walking from my house. It's been there for the past 55 days I've been sober. If I ever wanted to drink it's right there. For me, concerts are no different. Booze is always available, everywhere.. Well, except for between 2 am and 7 am where I live.

If you don't want to drink, you won't drink. Make sure you are at that point though! It sounds like you are!
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