FireSprite

Last week, readerbaby posted a thread about how we handle our unhappiness. I admitted I'm a Moper - I tend to isolate, woe-is-me & self-pity myself into a state when I'm feeling really low. And I've been thinking about that a lot because it's wasted time. I understand a good poor-me session, but I hate the wallowing & it can turn into that quickly if I'm not careful.

Original thread here -----> http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-unhappy.html


I realized that during those times even though I'm not ignoring my recovery & all that I know, my POV narrows & my brain seems foggier & just when I really NEED to be paying attention to my recovery that's when I slip the most. That's when I'm less likely to seek out new info, dig back through old stuff or even try to process anything deeper than a bag of chips. That's when I need fast, simple reminders that don't get wordy & complicated.

So I am journaling a checklist of buzzwords as a Self-Created Procedure Manual for My Recovery. It's purpose is to list all the words or phrases that will help me go through a mental checklist of things to pay attention to so I can skim through it saying, "Did that, doesn't apply, forgot about that!" etc.

It's a fun exercise. I'll keep adding things that are relevant to me as my recovery grows & when I'm feeling pressure I can flip to those pages in my journal & quickly run through my list. It looks like this somewhat:


1. Detachment
2. Drop the Rope
3. Quack!
4. Codies quack too..... are you?
5. The Dignity of Falling
6. ~Expectations~
7. 3 A's - Awareness, Acceptance, Action!
8. 3 C's - Control, Cause, Cure
9. Life not a Race!
10. Breathe!!! 3 deeeep breaths...
11. Yoga - get bendy
12. Epsom salts - have you soaked lately??
13. Sleep - getting enough?


You get the idea. I thought I would share in case anyone else finds this helpful & I welcome all of your ideas for additions to my list!

CarryOn

I have something similar in my journal - for awhile I had it posted on my bathroom mirror.

What have I done for me today??

• Go for a walk or a bike ride or yoga
• Snuggle and/or play with the dogs
• See friends or family
• Watch a movie
• Play piano
• Read for pleasure
• Read for recovery
• Work a puzzle
• Call a friend
• Eat healthy

I also have a list of the slogans in the back of one of my daily readers...I find saying the serenity prayer and reviewing the list (often finding one to focus on) helps calm me when I'm upset.

• More will be revealed
• Let go and let God
• Don't go to the hardware store for bread
• Progress, not perfection
• Don't just do something, stand there
• THINK
• etc.

happybeingme

While it is used in alcoholism recovery I think it could be helpful for many.

HALT

Dont ever get to Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired.

I think any one of these things or all of them can be distracting or throw us off course

Hammer

On the Beam, Off the Beam.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-off-beam.html

smc92va

These are great checklist! Thanks for sharing - I just wrote them all in my journal

FireSprite

These are wonderful!

firebolt

Thanks - I can always use this reminder!

Butterfly

Thanks firespirit, great idea. If you do t mind me asking what do you mean by the dignity of falling??

Stung

The acronyms are what I remember when I'm in a funk. Over the weekend I was thinking of FOG and HALT.

I also have heard here a few times that I am allowed to feel my feelings, which sadly is a new concept in my world. So I let myself be sad or angry or grumpy and I tell my girls that I'm feeling however I'm feeling - "mommy feels grouchy right now" - and I let us lay low for a set period of time and then I decide that it's time for a run, a walk, sand castles at the park, a roam in the library (which with a 1 year old and a 2 year old, it's still a jog around the kids section in the library) so I can move on and enjoy my life. If today is the last day that I live I don't want to spend the whole day being angry/grouchy/sad, etc. At least that's how I think about it.

I agree that it's wasted time to spend a whole day moping, but I think we all need to have some time to feel low for a while. There is a Jack Johnson song about how time doesn't stop just because we're grieving. Time never waits.

FireSprite

Stung - I remember you mentioning the time limit trick in the last thread, definitely going to remember that. It's like a self-imposed boundary.

Butterfly - the dignity of falling is my reminder to let RAH "fall" on his own & not jump in front of his consequences. For us, that relates more to his recovery than active addiction at this point, but it's still relevant to me. Just like I couldn't cushion DD's every step when she learned to walk, I have to let him make his mistakes his own way & not let it domino into my own recovery.

It also reminds me that *I* am just as flawed & likely to fall in my own recovery at times; that it's not about how many different ways that we fall so much as it is about whether we pick ourselves up with grace & dignity & that we try to avoid falling over the same obstacles again & again.

Bullfrog

I altered mine to "P.S. HALT"

PMS
Sick
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

hopeful4

My kids have been calling me a grouch lately. The other day I just threw in the towel and said, "Yes, I am being a grouch and I don't really know why." That helped, they could understand and relate to that for some reason LOL.

I think the two sayings I have said the most on this forum and in my life regarding alcoholism are:

You cannot control how someone else acts, but you can control how you react, or if you react at all.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

I feel like if I remember these things I am pretty much set. They cover all my bases so to speak!

Thanks for these lists!

FireSprite

LOVE this.

AnvilheadII

Each day ask yourself two questions:

1. What am I WILLING to do today for my recovery?
2. What am I GOING to do today for my recovery?

to me that sort of sums up Walking the Walk not just Talking the Talk. Willingness and ACTION.

readerbaby71

progress not perfection

and

feelings aren't facts!!!!!!!

lizatola

I love all the ones everyone has shared!
One of my favorites is: This too shall pass

And I also like to ask myself: How important is it?

And, another favorite I use on myself is JADE. Reminding myself that I don't need to Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain if it's not necessary.

dandylion

My all-time favorite is......"Co-dependency is the devil in a Sunday dress".

One of my very favorites from the AA side, I think, is....
"Nothing kills a buzz like a belly full of beer and a head full of AA"....LOL. LOL!!!!!

dandylion

readerbaby71

also:

The only person I can control is myself.

FireSprite

This one is new to me, love it!!

healthyagain

Actions, not words
Baby steps