Weasel1966

Some of the smartest, most articulate, fast minded people I know are addicted. Alcoholics. I always attributed it to being too aware of the world that drinking and drugging was a way to close the minds eye from what it could comprehend to quickly or in a way that scared the hell out of them. Me.

I arrogantly put myself in that group. But no matter the minds capacity to process information, it's the complete and utter failure to process emotion that drives my addiction.

Intellectualization of emotion cannot be done. I must feel it and deal with it in its most simple form.

Love is simple.

In its most purest form it is simple. But I am not pure in my thinking. So I overlay layer and layer of crap on top and call it love. Then describe to myself how it betrays or befuddles or denies…. When really I bastardized the emotion and allowed addiction to do the rest. All while telling myself I am way to smart to be fooled.

I was and will always be fooled.

That’s why I don't want to play any more. It's not a friend that will let me win every now and then. That's why with RR it tells you to make that plan and never change your mind. Never allow the entertainment of drinking to be part of anything. To train my mind to see what previously I was blind to.

I have no polite way to sum up this post. No words that can cure anything or me. Just an acknowledgement that this takes vigilance. And vigilance it will receive.

ultradad

Yeah, the only disease that will try and convince you that you don't have a disease. Vigilance indeed!

Fandy

Ain't Nobody Got Time for Con Artists, Weasey..

stay the course...

Ruby2

Thanks and spot on for me. Intellectualizing emotion. I always envied people who can feel what they are going through at the moment. I've always had a hard time taking my brain out of the equation. instead I participate in something, anything, with my body doing one thing and my brain looking on from over my shoulder saying in my ear "how am I supposed to be feeling?"

Thank you for posting your marvelous insight.

Nonsensical

Simple, not easy.

Love can be a noun. You can find it, fall in it, have your cup runneth over with it, etc. Those are great days, but that's not every day.

Everyday love is a verb. It's something you DO. Neither Mrs. Non nor I roll over every morning, see each other, and think my cup is running over with love for you today. Yet I make dinners I don't particularly like, dishes she didn't eat from get washed, socks she didn't wear get folded and put away, and she probably doesn't even know where the lawnmower is. Because we love each other we do stuff the other person needs.

Complications are of our own design. Love is equally at ease on an engine block or the petals of a rose. It is when we differentiate that it causes us confusion and sorrow.

Be well, friend.

mecanix

Who am i to expect a life free from pain , death , disease and destruction …. a life free from hardship ?

If we are blessed with love we also have to accept the pain , if we are to live we must understand there is disease and death , freedom and insecurity .

The thesis and anti-thesis can be dealt with , they needn't topple you over .

Thats the thing for me about us drunkies and druggies we just want to not have to deal with pain mostly and the sad thing about booze and drugs for me is that they just seem to make more pain in the end , it's why i call them a delusion , they seem to offer one thing but in actuality it's something else going on .

Keep on my friend

m