CharlesG

Me and my girlfriend currently share a dog and live together, after a night of doing drugs and recording music at her expense she asked me to leave and now I'm without her to talk to, things feel grim
I know she loves me and know I love her and did her so dirty so many times and am giving her all the space she needs to move on and not be overwhelmed with me being there and under her all day
I still come to the house when's she's at work to feed our dog, I just left and it'd weed an blunt wraps everywhere, had me missing that life for a minute
Just hate feeling alone and depressed, came from the studio earlier and after practicing i enjoy how my voice sounds but I'm still not the best version of my self and that gets me all the way low
Usually I'd be on the way home rolling up a blunt about to get lazy but instead I'm gonna go back and clean up my mothers house and make food and figure what's next
I have no life outside of music and her and drugs this is gonna be life changing and hard as hell but I will push through no matter what temptations
I know it was all brainwash that me and everyone around me happily lived through and I'm the first to break the cycle
And I'm not fully sure of myself
Please give me strength and guidance
I love my girl and wouldn't trade her for any body but all we've been through is even taking a toll on ME I get depressed going back to her home, we had so many business and life plans I don't know what to do she's my ******* best friend and it kills my soul that I ****** our relationship over and it's the actual main reason why I keep coming back to sobriety it's not worth losing her and honestly this can't be about her
I doubt id be able to make it to the heights I really aspire for being a doped up grown teenager
Even though that's all I'm bombarded with I have to remind myself that it isn't my case and I have to be strong and put the work in to achieve
I'm lazy
Thanks for reading :/

Nowsthetime

I learned here that being sober is cool and nonconformist. It sounds like you now want to be sober. It can't be about your girl, it has to be about you. I also think that you should let this relationship to. Too much baggage. Focus on you right now and the rest will come.

We are here to listen.

CharlesG

i really feel that same way and dont want the baggage or to put that on her thanks :/