MATANE

Been a long time since I posted. I am still married to AH, together 35 years now. Still trapped in my situation with him....farm we cant sell. But at least I got it on the market, and got him to agree to it. Now, he has agreed to separate after the sale. He keeps having binges, and becomes quite verbally abusive and angry. He wants out. I want out. And living together with this knowledge is awful. I dont feel safe with him. I dont feel safe with a house full of guns. I dont feel safe when he is drunk, or sober for that matter. It seems like this entrapment is never going to end. I cant predict when our farm will sell. It's hell. My therapist of 7 years is retiring and I'm devastated he is not going to be around to help me go through this divorce.
I just want to run and not return, but I cant leave my animals and my business with my AH. He cant be trusted and cant do it alone even if he could. He punched the wall the other day and almost started crying that he couldn't handle the stress. And how did I react, I felt bad and tried to help him. Instead of taking care of me. What else is new. I dont dare to leave him for even one night as he will drink and put everything at risk.
Dont know how I'm going to get through this period of time, waiting, waiting for the farm to sell.

amy55

Hi MATANE, and welcome back to SR. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

I'm glad you came here because you can talk out your feelings here. There is a lot of support here.

With him punching the wall like that, you do know that is physical abuse or intimidation. It's enough for a restraining order. With a restraining order you can have the guns and him removed from your house.

Have you ever talked to a DV counselor? That would be a good place to start. If you don't know if you can do that yet, remember we are here for you and we will listen.

(((((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))