IWillWin

Happy Sober Sunday!

I am not one to start a thread ... always seem to find someone else already started one that usually addresses what I am needing and when I need it. That is the beauty of SR and one of the main reasons I am just a few short weeks shy of 2 years sober.

I have a dilemma. I am going to be offered a job that requires me to be away from home during the week for 6-8 week stretches and on a pretty regular basis. It is a great position that pays extremely well (I'd be set financially for a long time within 2 years) and would be professionally fulfilling.

Although I have traveled extensively for previous jobs, like a week at a time every 6 weeks or so, this seems different because it is so many weeks in a row. I am a road warrior and know all the tricks of the trade to stay sober and focused. BUT - I have an alarm going off internally and I've been struggling with it for a week. It is LOUD and basically warning me that I may have a fight on my hands to maintain my hard-earned sobriety living the life of a nomad.

I am not keen on being away from my family life for those stretches - I love my home and my peaceful, simple daily existence. Conversely, I am an experienced professional and this would be an excellent career step for many reasons.

So...I am in need of some wise advice from my SR family. On one hand, the money would be wonderful and there is a part of me saying "you can do this, you are strong and committed, and you have 2 years under your belt." Then there is that voice, that internal nagging gut voice underneath saying "this will be a fight every single day and the desire to drink will return with a vengeance like you have never experienced."

I am just not sure if this visceral voice is my intuition telling me the truth or my addiction trying to take advantage of an optimal situation. I think I know the answer but for some reason I am waging an internal war that will not stop. I have to complete some final assignments in order to obtain the solid offer of employment, and those assignments will take me the better part of a day and lots of work - kind of like writing a term paper. I have been procrastinating completing the task while I argue with myself.

Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. Funny, after typing this out I think I answered my own question. My sobriety is my priority above all else. I guess a part of me believes I can be "normal" and just go and do this. But the honest part of me kind of knows that even though I would most likely make it through sober, it will be an all-consuming battle and my days will be filled with an ongoing war of words in my head.

Ugh - I am usually more articulate than this. Apologies for the scattered thinking and long-winded post. Your wisdom, experiences and advice would be so helpful

Notmyrealname

I say go for it. You have nearly two years of sobriety, and it's a good career move, and it sounds like you're excited about it. You don't have the alcohol albatross weighing you down anymore -- two years isn't a fluke or an accident. You're doing something right.

But you know you better than we know you. Maybe you're white-knuckling along and not stable in your sobriety? I have no way to know that.

I do think though at some point you have to say, "I am a sober person, I 'got this', I am no longer 'damaged goods' where I need to treat myself with kid gloves -- I am confident in the stability of my sobriety", and spread your wings. How long does the drinking of two years ago get to dictate today's course of action?

I'm not saying to go buy a liquor store or anything -- some common sense is in order -- but maybe it's a good time to stretch a bit, you know?


That said, if you don't think you can handle it, well, you know you.

Verte

Oh what a dilemma to have! Sounds like this is an awesome opportunity for continued growth and personal fulfillment. You are approaching the challenge with wisdom, open eyes, open heart...what more can you ask of yourself? My vote is to go for it! Go full throttle with the promise to remain vigilant, proceed with caution and allow yourself the opportunity to develop new tools as needed. This is true growth. Stretching your boundaries. How exciting! And everyone around you will benefit from you taking on this challenge. Thanks for sharing this dilemma, procrastination, argument. Now go for it and start writing if you have not already. That's just my vote for your challenge.

IWillWin

Thanks so much Notmyrealname and LeTheVerte! Your words are wise and I appreciate your taking the time to respond.

I am going to complete the assignment and put it out there ... and when the offer comes in I will not decline because I am afraid. I need to have stronger confidence in my recovery and myself you both helped me with that today. THANKS!!!!!!!!!

PurpleKnight

It's probably natural to be apprehensive over such a big change, but 2 years is a solid foundation to be coming from!!

Having already got travelling for work down, then this shouldn't be too big of a stretch being away for weeks at a time!!

I would say go for it, tweak your plan, stay vigilant and don't regret a potential opportunity pass you by!!

Altoids

I agree with the others. GO FOR IT!!! And, if you find that it isn't working for you, you can always resign. But, hey, they call it a comfort zone for a reason. Sometimes we need to stretch those boundaries which isn't always, well, um, comfortable. I'm exciting for you. What an opportunity to grow in your sobriety, professionally and financially. And we get to be along for the ride with you. Blessings, IWillWin.