Raider

I will have to back away from this site a bit. I'll still lurk a little but I have a lot to do to get this move going, blah blah blah. I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I haven't thought about drinking mostly because I can't see it helping me out any. I'd just black out and the same **** would be here when I woke with a massive debilitating hangover. I think I made a mistake coming up here, with having just five days to get ready to leave when I get back to Utah. Yes H is home, and he does a lot, just not very detailed oriented. I cannot stop crying, it's ridiculous. I cry on the elyptical only because tears mesh nicely with sweat and no one knows the diff. I'm struggling trying to keep up/remember things I need to do; temporary change in mail, cancel milk, cancel paper, start garbage service at cabin, etc. These things alone aren't much, but thinking about them all and worrying about forgetting something overwhelms me. If I could stop this insane blur of years that I can't even explain.

I'll be around here and there. I love ya' bunches. Pam.

Mags1

Take care, Pam, thinking of you xxxx

HeartsAfire

Good luck, Raider. You'll be in my thoughts. Hope you'll find a way to get your twerk back on soon!!

You will be missed.

PurpleKnight

Good luck with it all Pam!!

Anna

Good luck with preparing for the house-selling Pam!

Funtimefranky

Take care Pam. You were one of the first, if not the first to answer my cry for help when I first found this place, I'm now 14 days clean! Thank you Pam. Moving is a stressful business, I'll be praying for ya and hope you will be smiling again soon. x

ForgetfulKevin

Sorry to hear about your stress, Pam!

I hope you are writing down these to-do items on a paper checklist instead of trying to keep track of it all in your head.

Maybe go through your bank and credit card statements for the past few months to remind yourself of services to cancel/start or at least to help set your mind at ease that you have remembered everything.

Best wishes to you!

Aellyce

Pam... didn't you do this before?? Similar to the cabin vacation?

I hope it'll all be good. I also feel overwhelmed at times, and I've learned to go into the lighter areas during those times, but would not disconnect. I've also been struggling lately quite a bit, but disconnecting from my main support system, I think that would not be a good idea for me. Please don't go far and check back in whenever!

Love, H.

SoberComposer

Hi Raider, I hope the move goes well and everything else is going splendid as-well!!

LadyinBC

Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Pam. Please check in once in awhile when you can!

desypete

at times like your in pam i have to try to lose myself and calm my head down, its not easy when the head is racing around at 100 miles an hour and thoughts just will not stop coming and there mostly all bad ones,

try and get some pen and paper out if you dont have a sponsor, and try to write down how your feeling, ask yourself why your feeling like this, ask youself if you can change something ? if you can then set about to change it
if you can not do anything at all to change it then try to see it, that no amount of worry or stress is going to change it

when things go wrong it hurts like hell unless we can let things go and this takes a lot of practice and it doesnt go away over night either
see that its just a bad day and go to bed early just call it a day and have some rest
things might look a little bit better in the morning

i have to get hard on myself as well at times when my head hurts for my son who died i have to be brutal on myself and tell myself he is gone and then i will call someone up who might be having a bad day themselves and i forget my pain for a while

just a few tips i can pass on to you if any of them might help
but whatever you do remember just were the drink took you and just dont pick up that first drink keep busy if you have to do what ever it will take to get your mind off it

good luck to you

ScottFromWI

Just remember it all will get done, do what you can today, the rest can wait. Making a written list or some kind of electronic task list could certainly help. Checking things off shows progress as well.

Whatever you do, DO NOT get complacent with your sobriety. I don't know how much you do outside SR, but backing away is effectively cutting off some of your support. And you've been here before....all the things you are worried about will be complicated one hundred-fold should you start drinking again.

Hevyn

We'll be here when you stop in Pam. Please be kind to yourself - and patient.

VikingGF

It will get done! Take care of yourself and we will be here, keeping a light on in the window for you.

EJ43

I will miss you, but will look forward to your visits and check ins! Moving just sux, do what you can each day and know it will ultimately all get done! Hang in there and see you soon

Notmyrealname

You'll be alright. Even if you forget something it's not the end of the world by a long shot. Just take your time and be methodical and don't forget to breathe

Dee74

Just make daily lists Raider...do the list each day and you'll make it

D

Tetra

We'll miss you Raider. Come back soon and good luck with everything xx

tornrealization

I dislike goodbye threads but I also acknowledge that soberrecovery forums are just a tool and stepping stone to recovery. It's like AA - I've seem long timers and it works for them but many people flow through without committing for life. Raider, we've hardly talked, but I have watched you progress and you have helped me unknown. Thankyou and I hope your next steps in life are just as rewarding

Dee74

I don't think Raiders leaving forever guys

D