HeartsAfire

So I've been trying to "seriously" (definitely in quotes) battle my alcoholism for 9 months now with little spurts of success here & there that eventually lead me back to the same place. You all know the insane alcoholic merry-go-round of which I speak. Obviously that's not giving me the long-term results I want & deserve. Obviously I need a new approach.

Believe it or not, I've never told anyone in my personal life that I'm an alcoholic. Only you all know. Today I've told a best friend as well as my husband. Both could not have been more supportive. Husband is in Germany so I had to do it over Skype but I did it. I know it was a relief to him. He travels the world working for a rock band so there are extended periods of time he is gone. I know he has worried - and well he should have. Now he at least knows that I have admitted it and committed myself completely this time to working on it.

As far as my friend we are friends thru another 12 Step Group (COSA) so she gets it completely. She's having me over tonight to cook for me - she's a gourmet chef. My body needs good food. My soul need good friendship. Two birds w/one stone...

Other than that I started the 21 day Oprah/Deepak meditation someone mentioned on another thread & I'm getting out my old 12 Step workbook & dusting it off. I'm gonna get there - no doubt about it. I'm just not gonna get there w/this board alone. My knuckles are about to fall off they're so white!

Have a great Saturday everyone. Thank you for being here.

Meraviglioso

It is great to read this post, your dedication is very inspiring. I will be thinking of you, keep up the good fight, you can do this.

PurpleKnight

Great stuff HeartsAfire!! Keep pushing through!!

HeadLump

It takes a huge amount of courage to open up to others, especially to those who are very close, but it also opens the way to healing. You're on your way, HeartsAfire

I've also been doing the Oprah/Deepak meditations. Meditation is new to me, but I am really enjoying it

HeartsAfire

Thanks, Lump. It feels like the admission to others has been a missing puzzle piece in my recovery. It's FINALLY out there. No more wondering. Is she? Isn't she? Am I? Now they know I know. Now they know I am. Whew!

W/regards to the meditation, for a beginning meditator (is that a word?) it's challenging to say the least. How do you quiet your brain for that amount of time?! I'm gonna stick w/it though. Even if I can do it 20 seconds longer each day that is progress! Curious to get your thoughts, Lump.

HeadLump

I try to cancel out thoughts by simply repeating the mantra and the theme of the day. It's not easy, but what I find even more difficult are the bodily sensations! I've never been able to sit still for long, but when meditating I seem to start twitching then itching all over and my eyes get scratchy and want to open. It's as if my whole body is rebelling against it! I'm determined to keep trying, though, as the odd moments of peace are really wonderful

Anna

I'm doing the 21 day Meditation Challenge too, and love it.

Heartsafire, I'm glad you are continuing to work on your sobriety.

Soberpotamus

Sounds great You are doing well!

HeartsAfire

Thanks, Anna. What are your thoughts on the meditation?