danieladd

Hi there. Any advice to deal with shame over things I was doing while drinking?

Dee74

Hi and welcome dianeladd

for me the best cure was not drinking, and a little time.

I had to accept I couldn't change a second of my past.

I tried to be a good sober person and do good things for myself and others, and gradually I realised I really *was* a good person - a good, decent, person who'd been addicted.

I was able to forgive myself, eventually - I hope you will too. You'll find a lot of support here - welcome

D

danieladd

Thanks. I was doing ok in the UK after doing a program for a few weeks. But just before I came back to Japan I just started all my boozin and messed up rubbish again. My wife fiancé found out again and she was so hurt. I just feel terrible as she has tried so hard to help me and forgive me and I just keep doing the same stuff

Dee74

I think actions speak loud than words.

I made promises loads of times...people got fed up...but when people could see I'd changed, without me making a big deal of it, then things began to shift a little.

Trust and forgiveness need to be earned back - that takes a little time...and it's their timetable, not ours

D

danieladd

Thanks

Mountainmanbob

the best we can do is to not drink and do them again
after a while sober we take pleasure in the fact that
we have been good moral ones for several years now

and

have not added to the wreckage of our past

it is something to be grateful for

MountainmanBob

desypete

it takes a long time to learn new habits, but they have to have a start.

so from today onwards just try to not repeat what your doing, just do it for one day and see how you feel, if you like yourself a bit better then do it again and again and again in the end you will of started a new habit of not hurting people you love but you have to make a firm stand to at least try

ccam1973

I agree with what everyone else is saying.

Actions speak louder than words. Get some sober time under your belt, reanalyze your life then, I'm sure others will notice your efforts.

After spending so much time in the bottle, lying to the ones we love and being robed of life's good times while drinking, there is nothing better than being sober.

Good luck, you dont have to drink again if you decide not to. The power is yours.

Thepatman

You are well covered recommendation wise.

Just dripping in to encourage you to keep moving forward, and build a new happy life without the poison.

PurpleKnight

Time is a great healer, we can't change the past, but we can change the future, write a new chapter in our lives and the person we once were will be confined to a previous chapter!!

danieladd

Thanks everyone

KateL

The guilt and shame does go, once you realise it's detrimental to quitting. People love to see you sober and the longer you go on, the more they forget xx