A new day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Old Hickory, TN
Posts: 7
A new day
Hello. Im new to this forum. I think this will be very good for to come to so i can talk to people about dealing with my alcohol bing drinking problem. im glad i found this site. Its very difficult to just talk to people about it; especially people that know me well like family.
Growing up i was always curious about beer, wine and liquior. When my parents drank, i wanted to try it even though they usually told me i wouldnt like it. They always let me have a sip and my reaction was usually one of distaste, and nonetheless i would ask to try it again the next time. My dad let me have my first full beer when i was 12 years old for new years eve. I drank half of it. I felt so grown up and cool.
When i was 16, on christmas eve my parents left their liquior bottles out on the counter. i guess they didnt think any of the 4 kids(im the oldest) would sneak drinks. They also didnt know that i had previously been goibg into their room on several occasions to pour vodka into my empty water bottles. Anyways, on the christmas eve all i remember is sneaking a few drinks and apparently within an hour or two, my younger sister who was 15 at the time came into the kitchen and saw me chugging a bottle of vodka as if it were water. My sister got my parents and they found me lying in the kitchen floor laughing histerically. My parents had to control me for the rest of the night and take care of me. i dont know how much i drank the night, but it was a lot and i had a three day hangover. I ruined christmas that year and i look back and still feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Sadly, that was the start of my bing drinking habit that i could not control.
When i was 18, i started talking to a boy online. He was 22. We met in person not much later and i quickly fell in love with him. I loved how he was a rebel and i thought he was so much fun. Eventually, i saw his true colors. We went to florida for a week and while we were there, most of what we did was drink alcohol and of course i had my bing drinking problem. I trusted him and didnt think he would do anything to harm me. On our third night in florida, the gyy i thought everything of, encouraged me to drink and anal raped me. luckily, i dont remember all of this happening to me. Maybe i blocked most of it out of my mind because it was so horrible. He was bipolar, schizophrenic, and obsessed with me. After two years, i finally broke free of him.
Now you would have thought that i would have learned that i had a problem after all that but i continued with it.
After several years of parties, going to clubs downtown, bing drinking and being taken advantage of, and almost getting a DUI, i finally realized i had a problem.
It used to be that i would just drink and have fun but i always drank myself into blackouts and got myself into bad situations. Now its turned into something so much worse. When im drunk, i act like a posessed person. I hurt myself and people around me. I say very mean things. I literraly become evil. Ive been married to an amazing man for two years now. it was affecting our marriage very badly.
About five months ago, after a very bad bing drinking incident, i decided that i'd had enough and didnt want to continue living the way i was. I went to church the next sunday and went up to the preacher and asked to be prayed for. I cried and cried. Then i felt a huge burden had lifted. I did very well and did not have another episode for five months....until last night.
I have spent the entire day in bed feeling awful, embarrased, and ashamed of myself. I prayed for forgiveness and for me to forgive myself and for strength to not allow it to happen again. I was allowing myself a drink or two here and there before. Now im choosing to be completely sober from here on out. Im 27 now and ready to truly live my life and have a good marriage. Iwill not let the devil have control over me anymore.
Thank you for reading,
AudreyHello. Im new to this forum. I think this will be very good for to come to so i can talk to people about dealing with my alcohol bing drinking problem. im glad i found this site. Its very difficult to just talk to people about it; especially people that know me well like family.
Growing up i was always curious about beer, wine and liquior. When my parents drank, i wanted to try it even though they usually told me i wouldnt like it. They always let me have a sip and my reaction was usually one of distaste, and nonetheless i would ask to try it again the next time. My dad let me have my first full beer when i was 12 years old for new years eve. I drank half of it. I felt so grown up and cool.
When i was 16, on christmas eve my parents left their liquior bottles out on the counter. i guess they didnt think any of the 4 kids(im the oldest) would sneak drinks. They also didnt know that i had previously been goibg into their room on several occasions to pour vodka into my empty water bottles. Anyways, on the christmas eve all i remember is sneaking a few drinks and apparently within an hour or two, my younger sister who was 15 at the time came into the kitchen and saw me chugging a bottle of vodka as if it were water. My sister got my parents and they found me lying in the kitchen floor laughing histerically. My parents had to control me for the rest of the night and take care of me. i dont know how much i drank the night, but it was a lot and i had a three day hangover. I ruined christmas that year and i look back and still feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Sadly, that was the start of my bing drinking habit that i could not control.
When i was 18, i started talking to a boy online. He was 22. We met in person not much later and i quickly fell in love with him. I loved how he was a rebel and i thought he was so much fun. Eventually, i saw his true colors. We went to florida for a week and while we were there, most of what we did was drink alcohol and of course i had my bing drinking problem. I trusted him and didnt think he would do anything to harm me. On our third night in florida, the gyy i thought everything of, encouraged me to drink and anal raped me. luckily, i dont remember all of this happening to me. Maybe i blocked most of it out of my mind because it was so horrible. He was bipolar, schizophrenic, and obsessed with me. After two years, i finally broke free of him.
Now you would have thought that i would have learned that i had a problem after all that but i continued with it.
After several years of parties, going to clubs downtown, bing drinking and being taken advantage of, and almost getting a DUI, i finally realized i had a problem.
It used to be that i would just drink and have fun but i always drank myself into blackouts and got myself into bad situations. Now its turned into something so much worse. When im drunk, i act like a posessed person. I hurt myself and people around me. I say very mean things. I literraly become evil. Ive been married to an amazing man for two years now. it was affecting our marriage very badly.
About five months ago, after a very bad bing drinking incident, i decided that i'd had enough and didnt want to continue living the way i was. I went to church the next sunday and went up to the preacher and asked to be prayed for. I cried and cried. Then i felt a huge burden had lifted. I did very well and did not have another episode for five months....until last night.
I have spent the entire day in bed feeling awful, embarrased, and ashamed of myself. I prayed for forgiveness and for me to forgive myself and for strength to not allow it to happen again. I was allowing myself a drink or two here and there before. Now im choosing to be completely sober from here on out. Im 27 now and ready to truly live my life and have a good marriage. Iwill not let the devil have control over me anymore.
Thank you for reading,
Audrey
Growing up i was always curious about beer, wine and liquior. When my parents drank, i wanted to try it even though they usually told me i wouldnt like it. They always let me have a sip and my reaction was usually one of distaste, and nonetheless i would ask to try it again the next time. My dad let me have my first full beer when i was 12 years old for new years eve. I drank half of it. I felt so grown up and cool.
When i was 16, on christmas eve my parents left their liquior bottles out on the counter. i guess they didnt think any of the 4 kids(im the oldest) would sneak drinks. They also didnt know that i had previously been goibg into their room on several occasions to pour vodka into my empty water bottles. Anyways, on the christmas eve all i remember is sneaking a few drinks and apparently within an hour or two, my younger sister who was 15 at the time came into the kitchen and saw me chugging a bottle of vodka as if it were water. My sister got my parents and they found me lying in the kitchen floor laughing histerically. My parents had to control me for the rest of the night and take care of me. i dont know how much i drank the night, but it was a lot and i had a three day hangover. I ruined christmas that year and i look back and still feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Sadly, that was the start of my bing drinking habit that i could not control.
When i was 18, i started talking to a boy online. He was 22. We met in person not much later and i quickly fell in love with him. I loved how he was a rebel and i thought he was so much fun. Eventually, i saw his true colors. We went to florida for a week and while we were there, most of what we did was drink alcohol and of course i had my bing drinking problem. I trusted him and didnt think he would do anything to harm me. On our third night in florida, the gyy i thought everything of, encouraged me to drink and anal raped me. luckily, i dont remember all of this happening to me. Maybe i blocked most of it out of my mind because it was so horrible. He was bipolar, schizophrenic, and obsessed with me. After two years, i finally broke free of him.
Now you would have thought that i would have learned that i had a problem after all that but i continued with it.
After several years of parties, going to clubs downtown, bing drinking and being taken advantage of, and almost getting a DUI, i finally realized i had a problem.
It used to be that i would just drink and have fun but i always drank myself into blackouts and got myself into bad situations. Now its turned into something so much worse. When im drunk, i act like a posessed person. I hurt myself and people around me. I say very mean things. I literraly become evil. Ive been married to an amazing man for two years now. it was affecting our marriage very badly.
About five months ago, after a very bad bing drinking incident, i decided that i'd had enough and didnt want to continue living the way i was. I went to church the next sunday and went up to the preacher and asked to be prayed for. I cried and cried. Then i felt a huge burden had lifted. I did very well and did not have another episode for five months....until last night.
I have spent the entire day in bed feeling awful, embarrased, and ashamed of myself. I prayed for forgiveness and for me to forgive myself and for strength to not allow it to happen again. I was allowing myself a drink or two here and there before. Now im choosing to be completely sober from here on out. Im 27 now and ready to truly live my life and have a good marriage. Iwill not let the devil have control over me anymore.
Thank you for reading,
AudreyHello. Im new to this forum. I think this will be very good for to come to so i can talk to people about dealing with my alcohol bing drinking problem. im glad i found this site. Its very difficult to just talk to people about it; especially people that know me well like family.
Growing up i was always curious about beer, wine and liquior. When my parents drank, i wanted to try it even though they usually told me i wouldnt like it. They always let me have a sip and my reaction was usually one of distaste, and nonetheless i would ask to try it again the next time. My dad let me have my first full beer when i was 12 years old for new years eve. I drank half of it. I felt so grown up and cool.
When i was 16, on christmas eve my parents left their liquior bottles out on the counter. i guess they didnt think any of the 4 kids(im the oldest) would sneak drinks. They also didnt know that i had previously been goibg into their room on several occasions to pour vodka into my empty water bottles. Anyways, on the christmas eve all i remember is sneaking a few drinks and apparently within an hour or two, my younger sister who was 15 at the time came into the kitchen and saw me chugging a bottle of vodka as if it were water. My sister got my parents and they found me lying in the kitchen floor laughing histerically. My parents had to control me for the rest of the night and take care of me. i dont know how much i drank the night, but it was a lot and i had a three day hangover. I ruined christmas that year and i look back and still feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Sadly, that was the start of my bing drinking habit that i could not control.
When i was 18, i started talking to a boy online. He was 22. We met in person not much later and i quickly fell in love with him. I loved how he was a rebel and i thought he was so much fun. Eventually, i saw his true colors. We went to florida for a week and while we were there, most of what we did was drink alcohol and of course i had my bing drinking problem. I trusted him and didnt think he would do anything to harm me. On our third night in florida, the gyy i thought everything of, encouraged me to drink and anal raped me. luckily, i dont remember all of this happening to me. Maybe i blocked most of it out of my mind because it was so horrible. He was bipolar, schizophrenic, and obsessed with me. After two years, i finally broke free of him.
Now you would have thought that i would have learned that i had a problem after all that but i continued with it.
After several years of parties, going to clubs downtown, bing drinking and being taken advantage of, and almost getting a DUI, i finally realized i had a problem.
It used to be that i would just drink and have fun but i always drank myself into blackouts and got myself into bad situations. Now its turned into something so much worse. When im drunk, i act like a posessed person. I hurt myself and people around me. I say very mean things. I literraly become evil. Ive been married to an amazing man for two years now. it was affecting our marriage very badly.
About five months ago, after a very bad bing drinking incident, i decided that i'd had enough and didnt want to continue living the way i was. I went to church the next sunday and went up to the preacher and asked to be prayed for. I cried and cried. Then i felt a huge burden had lifted. I did very well and did not have another episode for five months....until last night.
I have spent the entire day in bed feeling awful, embarrased, and ashamed of myself. I prayed for forgiveness and for me to forgive myself and for strength to not allow it to happen again. I was allowing myself a drink or two here and there before. Now im choosing to be completely sober from here on out. Im 27 now and ready to truly live my life and have a good marriage. Iwill not let the devil have control over me anymore.
Thank you for reading,
Audrey
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Hi and welcome Audrey 
For me the only way to beat alcoholism was to not feed it anymore. I think you've made a great decision to be completely sober from here on in
You'll find a lot of support here
D
For me the only way to beat alcoholism was to not feed it anymore. I think you've made a great decision to be completely sober from here on in
You'll find a lot of support here
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome, Audrey. Congratulations for having the insight at age 27 to realize that, like the rest of us, you are not able to moderate your drinking. Many of us didn't come to that realization until much later in life
You have most of your life ahead of you. Take advantage of your insight. You don't have to let life pass you by.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
You have most of your life ahead of you. Take advantage of your insight. You don't have to let life pass you by.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Penn's Woods
Posts: 117
Welcome, Audrey. I, too, was exposed to drugs and alcohol early in life. I used to be a fun drunk, but in recent years drinking would bring out a side of me that I don't care to see. It was damaging my relationships as well. I'm 30 and have chosen to live a sober life.
I wish you well in your journey. We are all here for you!
I wish you well in your journey. We are all here for you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Old Hickory, TN
Posts: 7
Thanks all for all the support everyone! I can already tell this will make it easier.
I went to church with my mother and father in law and when we got back my husband has a friend over and they bought a bunch of wine. My husband offered me wine...he knows i made a decision to control my drinkibg by not touching it. And he doesnt want me to be all crazy...and yet he offers me wine. That is not supporting me. I of course turned it down and got a bit angry with him and just walked away. I dont understand why he does that...
I went to church with my mother and father in law and when we got back my husband has a friend over and they bought a bunch of wine. My husband offered me wine...he knows i made a decision to control my drinkibg by not touching it. And he doesnt want me to be all crazy...and yet he offers me wine. That is not supporting me. I of course turned it down and got a bit angry with him and just walked away. I dont understand why he does that...
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