snakes

My friends are berating me for not going to the memorial service tomorrow night and making this all about myself. They say I am a very lousy person.

lostinthetrees

They are wrong.

biminiblue

Those don't sound like friends.

PurpleKnight

They may not understand or aware of your reasons, so they are making judgements without the full facts!!

2 options:
-As Carl mentioned on your other thread, the service won't have any alcohol at it, but you need to ensure you make a quick exit after the service if you go!!
-Don't go at all!!

The priority is to protect your Sobriety!!

doggonecarl

It is about yourself, your sobriety, about what you have to do to achieve it.

This won't be the last time you will have to put your recovery ahead of what people think about you, might as well make this the first time.

snakes

Thank you. There is no service. It is just a giant party celebrating his life. I wish I could go to a service. I did send her and her family cards when her dad died and called her everyday. But still, I am questioning myself.

Dee74

I know from wakes.

A wake is no place for an alcoholic, especially one in early recovery.
Period.

The outcome of that is pretty easy to predict.

You need to decide whats more important - your own well being - or keeping your friends happy.

D

snakes

In all honesty my well being. I can't keep going down the drinking road. I know where it ends up. I didn't ever think I'd end up hurting or losing friends in the process. This part is more difficult than I anticipated.

Lola23

Sorry you're going through this...it's a difficult situation for sure.

PurpleKnight

Trust me, in 10 years time, no one will even remember who was even there, these things become soo important in the moment, but with time wounds heal and people move on!!

My dad died a few years back and it was merely a moment in time!!

Dee74

I thought my drinking buddies would be with me til the end of the world and always have my back, but once I removed drinking from the equation everything stopped dead - no more calls no more dropping in...nuthin.

My old life was a drinking life. That needed to change. But change can be positive...

I did find new friends, and I reconnected with old ones.

I have friends now who I do trust would stick by me through thick and thin, cos they have

Try not to make too much of this. Honestly it sounds like your friends like a bit of drama.

We wouldn't all still be in recovery if we lost on the deal, snakes.
It'll be ok.

D

Ultramarathoner

From Wayne Dyer's Incredible You:

#7. Take Care of Yourself-
"If something or someone makes you feel bad,don't let it ruin your day by making you sad. Let go of the hurt and take care of you. You can't control what others say or do."