mapp

Well, here I sit feeling sorry for myself, imagining everyone else is enjoying the well deserved weekend off from work. (Just like I used to).

In my short time on SR, I've posted a lot about job loss and the challenges of job searching with history of addiction, dui convictions and being fired.

The fallout feels never ending. Unemployment exhausted, savings gone. After I pay the mortgage this month, I don't know how I'll pay next month

I'm on Medicaid. Thank goodness my sons are covered through their father's insurance.

I just applied for food stamps.

How far I've fallen. I used to be the sole supporter of my family. Sorry for the pity party downer. I'm just not over things and have yet to maintain any optimism.

I hate you, alcohol.

Thepatman

I am sorry for the hard place you are in. Alcohol has a way of taking everything from us, well almost. When we decide to take our power back, we can one day at a time regain what had been lost.

Stay strong and remember there many more then we think that are sober on weekends. Like you, me, and the rest of the gang on SR. We are many

mapp

Definitely, thepatman. I wasn't even lamenting not drinking on a friday night. Just remembering my days before alcohol addiction... how blissful they seem now.

Thank you for your words of support. Staying sober - drinking just makes depression worse.

Thepatman

Hope you find some work Mapp, I can imagine the stress you are under.

I sometimes also think of how things used to be. Friday nights were usually the start of a massive weekend binge. At the end of my career my body simply could not take the beating anymore.

Life is a lot simpler now, I'm watching cartoons with mini me and loving it.
The ice cream really helps!

Stay strong, onwards and upwards

CuteNGayYay

mapp I feel u I have 2 dui's ..lost my job.. have had 3 interviews no luck.. basically no money left and lots of credit debt. I'm lucky to have my parents right now. Things will get better.. just gotta remember drinking will only make it worse. (I've forgotten a few times already) Have a strong weekend !

SoberComposer

This is my second Friday night sober and I'm with you Mapp. It sucks now but know it gets muuch better! Troop through this and let's make it to the other side!!

mapp

I think I may be lactose intolerant...ice cream does not sit well in the tummy these days.Darn it!

Thatdeliveryguy

Mapp keep placing applications, place your emphasis on what you want to do today. I've sabotaged myself many times thinking about the future. Focus on one day, do what you need to do that day, and try to find work.

Housing is a possible avenue, but it does take time, I am glad you applied for food-stamps, that is a step in the right direction. Hope you can find work though, that is tough, try and remember that finding work is hard, but drinking won't and will never solve that issue.

mapp

CuteNGay, I had 2 interviews recently, no luck here either...but, we get better each time we get ou there, yes? And yep, I've forgotten a few times too. Thank goodness we have support of family and loved ones right now,...that's a lot to be thankful for!

Strong weekend to you too!

mapp

Thank you sobercomposer and TDG. Yep, put off the food stamp app for a few months...pride, denial, etc... But my boys have to eat.

I will keep applying for jobs. No choice. I have a lot of skills..that's what I have to focus on!

You are all great. I love this place.

mapp

Thepatman, your evening sounds lovely...enjoy the ice cream, toons and especially your mini-me!

happyandfree

Sometimes when it seems like things can't get any worse. ...they start getting better. I hope you find a job real soon mapp so you can get your feet back on the ground and have a good life. Stay positive and don't give up the fight. You can do it-

mapp

Thank you happyandfree. A job sure would be a welcome relief...how I miss my work, and not just the paycheck, you know? I am so ready for things to start looking up, I have 2 wonderful boys that need their Mom sober, healthy, happy and focused on their well being.

All of your words of encouragement really help. What caring people there are here. I spent a lot of time isolating myself from almost everyone, and I find real comfort and heartfelt support here. I hope I reach a point where I can give to other people what you are all giving me.

Thepatman

You already have Mapp. Helping for many of us brings more joy that you can imagine. In my case, I have hurt a lot of people when I was active in my addiction. Encouraging others on SR and helping when I can is like therapy for me. I felt so low about myself for so long, that I need to give to love myself again. Thanks Mapp, be kind to yourself. Your boys must be proud of you!

CuteNGayYay

agreed

mapp

Thank you for those words, I completely agree, too. I dragged so many people through so much during my addiction, and really want to turn that around.

Recently, my ex-husband's girlfriend broke up with him. He was crushed, devastated. I couldn't offer much but an ear when he needed to talk, a few home cooked meals and friendship. But what a long way those simple things went. I was so glad to be able to do some small thing for someone else. The benefits definitely go both ways.

An instant, feel-good random act of kindess? Paying for coffee for the person behind me at the drive-thru. I know when someone does that for me, it can make my whole day brighter...and sometimes it sets off a chain reaction throughout the drive-thru line. Which is quite awesome

mapp

Hey, look at the difference between my first sad post on this thread, and the last one - much more positive ! Thank you all for helping my mood change for the better...little miracles

SoberComposer

PurpleKnight

Sober on a Friday evening though is an amazing achievement, you are moving forward and making real changes in your life that will eventually pay off!!

It can be tough!! But keep pushing through!!

CuteNGayYay

love it! :d