carguysgirl

My bf's H AD seems to be staying clean. Now I've barely meet the girl, but she's in and out of town between her bf and moms places, so since she's clean I imagine we'll spend more time together soon.
Here's what's bothering me. Although she's not using hard drugs, she's smoking pot, not working not in school-possibly selling pot-living it would seem mostly off her boyfriends family (her bf is on house arrest so can't be working) she's just not doing anything proactive or positive or adult (19 years old) and my bf doesn't seem to mind. My bf doesn't know why her bf Is on house arrest or how she has any money. He said he was ok if she's just selling pot not hard drugs. Why isn't she being encouraged to do more with her life? When I get to know her am I out of bounds as gf to her Dad to be the one to ask where she wants her life to go and encourage her to reach for her dreams?
I'm afraid to ask her Dad this because of my history of negative comments. I think he would only see my criticism of his parenting(or lack of) rather than my concern

Ann

It is what it is, dear, maybe let your bf handle his relationship with his daughter and feel free to set your own boundaries.

Personally, I would not want a person who used pot in my life on a regular basis. If she is selling, and you are only guessing here, I wouldn't want her (and her stash) in my home as I could get arrested too.

You can't change her, you can't change your bf. What you can do is have your own thoughts on this and it doesn't matter if anyone agrees, and you can set your own boundaries as to where this relationship belongs in your life.

That may be some hard thinking, but it's your life and making good healthy choices are your God given right.

Hugs