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Bartender working through college, struggling to stay sober

Old 08-14-2014, 03:20 PM
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Bartender working through college, struggling to stay sober

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I'm struggling so badly with sobriety. My record is 2 days of consecutive sobriety in about 3 years and I need this to change. I don't even know where to begin. I'm not a religious individual so AA is not really for me, and sheer willpower alone has led me to fail time and time again so I don't know what steps to take to lead me in the right direction (which is why I'm here). I am working my way through college at a bar in my hometown, and this is where many of my issues began. Bartending makes it so difficult to not drink (since I'm around it all the time!), but getting a different job that is flexible around my classes AND pays very well is nearly impossible at this point in my life so I feel as though leaving my job isn't an option. Any advice or support anyone can offer would mean the world to me! Thank you.
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Old 08-14-2014, 03:32 PM
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Hello arya468, Joining SR is a good start. Post & read posts often. I'm pretty sure one of the members that post is sober and a bartender.

Many hospitals can run you through a rehab in 72 hours. Once completed, a Dr. can prescribe a medicine that will make you sick (vomit) if you drink. There are many other paths, but a good place to start is with a Dr. Resolv
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Old 08-14-2014, 03:37 PM
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Welcome arya - you are among friends who understand.

I agree with Resolv - reading and posting here really helps lessen the anxiety. You aren't ever alone - there's always someone here to listen. I'm glad you've made this decision - you'll never regret taking action & it'll save you so much misery down the road.
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Old 08-14-2014, 03:37 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Arya!!

Support is very important, our minds tell us to drink, we'll even convince ourselves we don't even have a problem after a while, and so we need to short circuit those thought processes by surrounding ourselves with a support network, some use AA, but there are plenty of other options, different kinds of meetings, and SR is here also to provide loads of support!!

It's going to be tough with your line of work, it's going to take some extreme measures to make this work, when I got Sober I had to revolutionise the people I hung out with and the activities I got involved in, and that's probably going to be case about the after work drinking culture of working in bars!!

It can be done, get a plan together and go for it!!
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Old 08-14-2014, 03:46 PM
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Welcome to the family. I'm glad you joined us.

It will be difficult to get sober when you're a bartender. But not impossible if you want it bad enough.
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Old 08-14-2014, 06:16 PM
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ARYA468: I agree with what has been said on this site, it is possible to achieve sobriety when working as a bartender but it is obviously much more difficult and risky to do so if this can be avoided. If you are convinced that there are no other equivalent employment opportunities and if you must work in a bar to finish college be prepared to deal with relapses if they should happen. Keep in touch with your doctor and seek the support of other recovering alcoholics, get their phone numbers, meet with them if you can. Just remember, if you are an alcoholic this illness can kill you. If it does not do so it will make you unbearably unhappy.

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Old 08-14-2014, 06:41 PM
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Hi arya468 - welcome

I think working in the job you do and being at college are both tough roads to try and walk for the alcoholic or problem drinker.

There are actually many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach too

Whatever you decide to do - whether it's get involved here, join a recovery group, seek counselling or whatever...the main thing to do is do something, cos in my experience, inaction just leads to more drinking....

I'm glad you found us

D
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Old 08-14-2014, 07:24 PM
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Thank you for the responses and warm welcomes everyone. It means a lot!

Dee74: I will definitely look into the different approaches to recovery, so thanks for that link.
wpainterw: I have unfortunately gone through quite a few relapses already because of my job. Entering a different line of work while going to school is something I have looked in to many times. I love the quick money made behind the bar and I am also quite attached to all of the customers that come in there. And since I have an alcohol dependency leaving behind a job that offers me as much free alcohol as I want in many different varieties is hard to leave behind, even though it is necessary.

Leaving behind this job is important for my health but it will also force me to leave behind friendships I've had for years, which is very hard to do. In my town there are very few people who are sober so making new, sober friends will be difficult (if not nearly impossible). How have you guys dealt with your drinking friends and kept the friendships alive while remaining sober?
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:00 PM
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You are pretty clear on what you won't do. But you are limiting your chances of success, especially keeping the job at the bar. Yes, it will be difficult to leave the money, the friends you have made, and the free booze. But recovery requires change. Drastic change, and change is difficult. Recovery is difficult. But not as difficult as life can get if you don't quit drinking.
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:47 PM
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arya468: I hear you when you say, " I love the quick money made behind the bar and I am also quite attached to all of the customers that come in there. And since I have an alcohol dependency leaving behind a job that offers me as much free alcohol as I want in many different varieties is hard to leave behind, even though it is necessary"

Working in a bar does have some attractiveness to an alcoholic if there's free booze available. But suppose a mouse is allergic to cheese and there's a lot of free cheese available and if the mouse continues to eat the cheese he's going to be in serious trouble, probably lose his job in the cheese bar, maybe not complete mouse college, go down hill from then on and maybe end up getting eaten by a cat. Well, anyway, the mouse says, "I do love my friends the other mouse cheese lovers. I hate to leave them."
Now you've got one thing a mouse hasn't. The ability to put sobriety, your future career and indeed probably your very life ahead of free booze, drinking friends, easy money. You can save yourself. You can be happy.

W.
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:48 PM
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Hello Arya468, My wife drinks daily, my son 3 or 4 days a week, and my daughter occasionally. Avoiding drinkers is not an option for me. I knew that going into this. I came to the conclusion long ago that it would be impossible for me to avoid alcohol in my run at sobriety. So far, so good I'm taking acamprosate calcium. A medicine designed to lower the desire to drink while in recovery. It is what it is. Maybe a person gets to the point where the desire to be sober overpowers the desire to drink and distractions like others drinking no longer have the impact they once had. Something to ponder. Resolv
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