Helping others quit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: HOUSTON
Posts: 69
Helping others quit
A co-worker wrecked his car last night while driving home drunk. Luckily the other person was also drunk and they worked it out between the two of them.
He made a few comments that he needs to quit drinking.
His story and the way he was feeling reminded me a lot of myself and the numerous accidents and events that led up to my decision to quit(multiple times, but now I'm almost up to a month sober, which has been the longest I've been dry in my adult life if I'm remembering correctly)...anyways knowing what he is likely going through, I can't help but feel sorry for him.
I mentioned that I made the decision to quit drinking almost a month ago and it has worked out for the better.
He told me he has tried to quit, but he can't.
I decided not to get too personal since he is just one of many co-workers, but at the same time I want to help him. I feel like it would also strengthen my own sobriety.
Any advice/ similar situations any of you have had?
Perhaps I should let this go and focus on my own early sobriety.
He made a few comments that he needs to quit drinking.
His story and the way he was feeling reminded me a lot of myself and the numerous accidents and events that led up to my decision to quit(multiple times, but now I'm almost up to a month sober, which has been the longest I've been dry in my adult life if I'm remembering correctly)...anyways knowing what he is likely going through, I can't help but feel sorry for him.
I mentioned that I made the decision to quit drinking almost a month ago and it has worked out for the better.
He told me he has tried to quit, but he can't.
I decided not to get too personal since he is just one of many co-workers, but at the same time I want to help him. I feel like it would also strengthen my own sobriety.
Any advice/ similar situations any of you have had?
Perhaps I should let this go and focus on my own early sobriety.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Coming on here and encouraging others has helped me. Having people in physical life to be responsible to has certainly helped me. People are always getting exercise partners and weight loss partners at work, why not a sobriety partner?
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it's a dicey situation.... you can extend an offer "hey, I'm going to a meeting tonight, why don't you join me...".
Or throw it out there "Listen, if you ever want someone to talk with about how to break out of this cycle... I'm here for you".
But I think you need to kind of let people come to you.... attraction, not promotion.
Or throw it out there "Listen, if you ever want someone to talk with about how to break out of this cycle... I'm here for you".
But I think you need to kind of let people come to you.... attraction, not promotion.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: HOUSTON
Posts: 69
So far the furthest I got with him was admitting that he has reached some level of denial.
I told him he needs to start doing other things to keep himself busy. He told me the problem is late at night.(wasn't able to offer much advise because my problem was I would start immediately after work)
When i told him to try non alcoholic beer because it worked for me, he said it gives him a headache.
I suggested that perhaps it's the lack of alcohol that's causing the headache and not the NA beer if he is used to drinking every night.
He laughed and said that he only drinks on weekends.
I told him that couldn't be true because yesterday was a weekday and he got so drunk that he wrecked his car. He agreed, but I get the feeling he may not be ready to admit how serious his problem really is. Either way it makes me feel better to know I tried.
I told him he needs to start doing other things to keep himself busy. He told me the problem is late at night.(wasn't able to offer much advise because my problem was I would start immediately after work)
When i told him to try non alcoholic beer because it worked for me, he said it gives him a headache.
I suggested that perhaps it's the lack of alcohol that's causing the headache and not the NA beer if he is used to drinking every night.
He laughed and said that he only drinks on weekends.
I told him that couldn't be true because yesterday was a weekday and he got so drunk that he wrecked his car. He agreed, but I get the feeling he may not be ready to admit how serious his problem really is. Either way it makes me feel better to know I tried.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 8
Honestly, I wouldn't open up that much to him yet. If he isn't ready to quit, and you don't have a very close relationship with him, the risks of having a co-worker know about your situation are far greater than the help he is not yet ready to recieve. You are making phenominal strides in your life, but if it was leaked to your boss that you have an issue with alcohol, do you think your bosses perception of you would change, and how?
Just too much to risk at the workplace, but that's just my 2 cents.
Just too much to risk at the workplace, but that's just my 2 cents.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
I don't think it was wrong to let him know you quit a month ago and how much better your life is now. I think letting him know where to find help and answering questions related to that should be the extent of what you should offer.
Not being critical (I know you mean well), but your trying to push him to admit he is in denial is quite a ways from leading by example. It's also potentially dangerous to become involved in other peoples recoveries, especially in early recovery as you are. It's important to keep the focus on your own program.
BTW, good job on 1-month sober
Not being critical (I know you mean well), but your trying to push him to admit he is in denial is quite a ways from leading by example. It's also potentially dangerous to become involved in other peoples recoveries, especially in early recovery as you are. It's important to keep the focus on your own program.
BTW, good job on 1-month sober
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