A little skewed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Florence, Ky
Posts: 1
A little skewed
So my story is a little different from the "norm." Or perhaps it is not, but I have been dealing with it for 10 years on my own. So here it goes.
Recently my wife left me simply put. She took everything and ran off with her "new friend." In the course of these events I was forced to relocate back in with my family.
My family has had an addiction problem since I can remember. At first it was marijuana. Then came the cocaine and pills. Over the last few years I have been able to suppress the feelings associated with this, until recently. After being in their household for only a couple of weeks i was unable to deal with it. The final straw was when i was told my 5 year old son couldn't come here because the individual wanted to get "high." After that incident another family member cornered me in a laundry room and forced me to "participate."
So I came to the conclusion that for my own well being I was going to relocate...but this time 1k miles away. Not only was I doing this for myself but mainly for my kids. I DO NOT want them growing up in the same environment that I did. Not saying that I wasn't taken care of but that I just want to be away from the drugs. Well this created a huge conflict...I was then accused of abandoning my kids etc...so I then let them know why I was leaving. It made it worse. It is worth noting that I attempted to reach out to my little brother two years ago about the drug problem and he went straight to them. Stabbing me in the back.
With all this going on, I still decided to stay. I am not sure if it was the guilt or the thought of leaving my children just for that little while. But regardless I was staying. In my mind I was going to reach out to them over the weekend and try and smooth things over and handle this at another point in time.
The end of the weekend came, it got 100x worse than before. For the first time in history my ex wife decided to to stick up for me and tell my family how over the last few years the addiction has been eating at my psyche. She did this without my knowledge. At that moment I became homeless. The following week I was able to reconnect with one family member by falling on my own sword. Now,this whole mess was my fault. I was airing their dirty laundry and was not being loyal. So I just took it. I now got a place to stay that does not have four wheels and access to a shower. Plus my mindset was to just smooth things over to handle it later. I had too much on my plate.
The other two were not so accepting of me falling on my sword. and decided they want to hold a grudge, because this is not the first time that I have told someone about the "family secret." The very next night (tonight) I am being told that it is my fault that my dad (who was currently in his recovery stage of throat cancer) is now starting to get worse and wants the individual to kick me out for good.
All of this was done because I was the only one who was in on the family secret and I wanted to get away. As I type this they are in the next room crushing it up. I understand that they are adults and after their children are grown they can do whatever the hell want, but why am I the only one suffering? What can I do? Due to the split I lost my job, and have to get on my feet but that means staying here or my car...Please give me advice I am all alone battling this addiction that three close family members have. I need help!
Recently my wife left me simply put. She took everything and ran off with her "new friend." In the course of these events I was forced to relocate back in with my family.
My family has had an addiction problem since I can remember. At first it was marijuana. Then came the cocaine and pills. Over the last few years I have been able to suppress the feelings associated with this, until recently. After being in their household for only a couple of weeks i was unable to deal with it. The final straw was when i was told my 5 year old son couldn't come here because the individual wanted to get "high." After that incident another family member cornered me in a laundry room and forced me to "participate."
So I came to the conclusion that for my own well being I was going to relocate...but this time 1k miles away. Not only was I doing this for myself but mainly for my kids. I DO NOT want them growing up in the same environment that I did. Not saying that I wasn't taken care of but that I just want to be away from the drugs. Well this created a huge conflict...I was then accused of abandoning my kids etc...so I then let them know why I was leaving. It made it worse. It is worth noting that I attempted to reach out to my little brother two years ago about the drug problem and he went straight to them. Stabbing me in the back.
With all this going on, I still decided to stay. I am not sure if it was the guilt or the thought of leaving my children just for that little while. But regardless I was staying. In my mind I was going to reach out to them over the weekend and try and smooth things over and handle this at another point in time.
The end of the weekend came, it got 100x worse than before. For the first time in history my ex wife decided to to stick up for me and tell my family how over the last few years the addiction has been eating at my psyche. She did this without my knowledge. At that moment I became homeless. The following week I was able to reconnect with one family member by falling on my own sword. Now,this whole mess was my fault. I was airing their dirty laundry and was not being loyal. So I just took it. I now got a place to stay that does not have four wheels and access to a shower. Plus my mindset was to just smooth things over to handle it later. I had too much on my plate.
The other two were not so accepting of me falling on my sword. and decided they want to hold a grudge, because this is not the first time that I have told someone about the "family secret." The very next night (tonight) I am being told that it is my fault that my dad (who was currently in his recovery stage of throat cancer) is now starting to get worse and wants the individual to kick me out for good.
All of this was done because I was the only one who was in on the family secret and I wanted to get away. As I type this they are in the next room crushing it up. I understand that they are adults and after their children are grown they can do whatever the hell want, but why am I the only one suffering? What can I do? Due to the split I lost my job, and have to get on my feet but that means staying here or my car...Please give me advice I am all alone battling this addiction that three close family members have. I need help!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR. Sorry for the nightmare you're living through. My divorce was one of the most painful events of my entire life, and that was with no kids. I'm sure it must suck.
I'm not sure what resources are available in your community. I think you're wise to want to create a better life for your kids away from the madness of your family. The issue it how to get started.
I'm sure someone will come along with concrete advice. For now I can only offer a "hang in there." It sucks and will suck for while, but there is hope. You can and will build a better life.
I'm not sure what resources are available in your community. I think you're wise to want to create a better life for your kids away from the madness of your family. The issue it how to get started.
I'm sure someone will come along with concrete advice. For now I can only offer a "hang in there." It sucks and will suck for while, but there is hope. You can and will build a better life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
