jakec

I've heard many different opinions on this. Whether or not you should hang out with your old friends in recovery.

I know for me, at least for right now, I cannot afford to be hanging out with them even if they're not addicts or alcoholics. For whatever reason, when I hang out with people who drink/use socially, even if they're not doing it in front of me, I start to trick my self into believing that maybe I'm like them and that I can handle a drink or some marijuana. So this time, I'm trying to stay away from my old friends, at least for a while.

What's your opinion on it? I've heard people in AA say that they were able to hang out with them no problem, but that's not my case.

FreeOwl

I tried to generally stay away from activities that revolved around drinking for the first several months.

Now, over 7 months out, I can go to the occasional BBQ or get-together where I know alcohol will be a part of it. But, I still choose to avoid just going to the bar or hanging out with people who are just primarily hanging out to drink.

When I do go into an environment with alchohol, I go with reminders of why I choose sobriety and with a plan for what I'll drink instead and often even bring my own non-alcoholic beverages.

Even though I CAN do it.... I minimize that because there are now so many other ways I'd actually prefer to spend my time. Plus, going to those sort of settings invariably means coming up against some uncomfortable feelings of loss or jealousy or being 'lesser' than others. Sometimes they are just vague little twinges, other times they are a real struggle and I wind up feeling kind of grumpy and not really having fun. When others are getting a little buzzed up and almost everyone else is drinking and having the typical drinking conversations.... it's hard not to run aground of challenging feelings in sobriety.

For the most part - I find that focusing on doing healthy sober things with people who really don't live their lives with alcohol as a centerpiece is far more enjoyable and supportive of my own choice of sobriety.

VikingGF

Everyone is different, but I have no difficulty being around people who drink. I have been out several times as well as attended a few parties where I was the only one not drinking in the past 4 weeks. In fact, I was asked quite a few times to refill wine glasses at one event. Not a problem. While I remained vigilant for any inkling of wanting to drink, my steadfast decision to not drink has remained strong. It has been reinforced at every outing- I am always so grateful and happy to be home safe in my own bed, sober and regret-free at the end of the night. Honestly, I have more of an urge to drink home alone than anywhere else. That's when I have to keep my guard up.

PurpleKnight

It depends on the activity I found, if I was going down to a local coffee shop with someone I knew in my drinking days to have a cup of coffee and a game of chess, then that's something I could manage, but if the same guy phoned me up and said he was going down the pub on a Saturday afternoon to watch the football and then maybe onto a club that evening, then I would be giving it a miss.

I found out though that the vast majority of people I knew fell into the 2nd category, always inviting me out to drink, and I needed to give many of those people a wide berth, eventually many stopped contacting me and they fell by the wayside, the ones that could deal with a coffee and a game of chess are the ones that remained on my friend list!!

The main focus is to stay Sober, you gotta do what you gotta do!!

b086

a lot of valuable insight already posted...i agree that time in sobriety makes a big difference. things that bothered me at 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months have no effect at 2 years. i would definitely err on the side of caution, because no social event could possibly be worth putting sobriety at risk.

i've made good friends in AA, and i never have to worry about whether they'll pressure me to drink

Dee74

I couldn't do it in the beginning. I needed a good couple of years - and I still tend not to stick around if/when they get into behaviour I don't need to be around.

D

least

I always drank alone so it doesn't bother me to be around people drinking, other than finding drunks to be boring and obnoxious.

wackybunny

I was very reluctant to "give up" my pot smoking friends. It felt wrong to abandon people who I had spent so much time with and genuinely cared about when they had done nothing wrong. I had to avoid them at first because the temptation was too strong but I had every intention to go back and start hanging out again after the difficult part was over. Strange thing is, I now have no real interest in hanging out with them. I still like them but I guess most of the reason I was friends with them is because we were addicts together. I also remember how some of them were not supportive of me quitting and that annoyed me. I think being healthy and active is cool now and being a slave to pot and/or booze is kind of lame...

Nuudawn

I typically am only comfortable in social events where there is alcohol consumption when I have another "reason" to be there (and sometimes that's even having dinner). I attended a birthday party of a lifetime friend somewhat recently. And I tell ya, if not for another friend ..not drinking..it would have given me more grief than it did (and it did certainly give me some grief during the first hour I arrived). I tried to go sit and watch a band I liked not to long ago. I'd had dinner before the show. When the band started...and really only drinkers were remaining in the casino bar and grill...I started to get antsy. I didn't think I would..but I did. I ended up going into the casino to play video poker (and losing some dollars)..where I could still hear band..I felt a bit more at ease.

Basically I don't like alcohol centered events where I need to make small talk or just sit there amidst folks getting there buzz on.

Anna

I stayed away from people who were drinking for most of a year. At that point, I felt comfortable to be around alcohol, but I still, for the most part, choose to not be around it.

doggonecarl

Yeah, you should stay away from your friends who socially use opiates, amphetamines, and DXM...like forever!