AcceptableAdder

I've finally had it. I cant continue to drink alcohol anymore. This past weekend I started drinking Thursday night and I didn't stop until Sunday night. I can barley remember what happened Friday or Saturday, although the large lump on my head would say otherwise. I had to use my bank records to track down where I had been, and I woke up one of the mornings in a strangers bed and peed on them. I'm on my second DUI and I just want this mess that I currently call a life to get back on track and I know that alcohol cant be a part of my life in order to do that.

I always thought that because I get good grades, work normally, pay my bills etc. that I didn't have a problem, but I do. I'm a functioning alcoholic and I just want to be functioning, no alcohol.

I've lied to my friends and family and partner about my drinking, I've been lying about it since I was 16 and now I'm 27. I've lost friends, relationships, and damaged many others because of this.

Today I fell so sick, depressed, and have little to no appetite. I dont think I've ever felt like this in my life. Yesterday was even worse. I didnt get the shakes, but I was either hot or cold all day, nauseous, tired, lethargic, dizzy and just disgusted with myself. I know if I cant stick with sobriety this time it will only get worse. I'm hopeful and scared at the same time.

Finding this forum has given me hope. Something about so many of the stories I've read on here have registered with me one way or the other. I just really hope that I can stick with it.

I don't crave alcohol but there are things that trigger me to want to drink, is that craving? I dont even know anymore. But once I have the first drink I cant stop unless someone is telling me not to, and even then I'll usually blow them off.

I'm tired of this and I want to stay strong.

allenmc25

Hi im new here too. Today actually. So far I have had great support here. I think you came to the right place. I dont feel alone here anymore. Might make recovery easier. Sober people dont know what its like to be an alcoholic. People here get it and have been there.

Meraviglioso

Hi and welcome. I have found this site to be very helpful. Just reading and posting helped me stack up 12 days of sobriety. I unfortunately relapsed over the weekend but am back at it and determined not to fall again. YOu are right, it is just not worth it anymore. I thought I loved drinking and couldn't live without it. I was similar to you in that I always got my stuff done, never called in sick to work, always woke up in the morning no matter how crap I felt, made the kids a hot breakfast, got them to school, etc. etc. But over the past year things have started slipping downhill very fast. I noticed myself making mistakes with my work, putting myself and my kids in risky situations, making a total and complete a** of myself while out (well, I always did that, but it has gotten progressively worse).
It is time for me to quit too. I will tell you, the 12 sober days that I had were some of the best of my life. I felt so great, I slipped back into being a productive person very easily. I was more patient and generally happier. I cannot wait to get back into that sober routine, it feels great. You will feel pretty low as you withdrawl, but then things will really start to look up. Best of luck!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR to help, my problem I soon realised was that 1st drink too, once I cut that out life got a whole lot easier!!

Great to have you onboard!!

least

Welcome to the family and to a sober life. I'm glad you joined us.

GotGrace

Welcome, AcceptableAdder! Glad you are here with us!

travis9028

This is my day 2. After my significant other made it clear to me that I am a different person whom she does not like and is not resulting to the end of our relationship I know i need to be sober. I've battled it with my parents growing up and when I went to college nothing improved. I drank constantly to get hammered, to drown sorrows, and became quite unruly and dangerous. I even had the near death experience of slamming my truck into a tree between 60 and 70 mph when i was 20 because I passed out drunk behind the wheel. I am only 25 years old, so anyone out there that is a young individual wanting sobriety in their lives, what can I do to better prepare myself for obstacles yet to come?

FreeOwl

it's amazing the stuff we can ignore and write off as no big deal in our boozin' minds huh?

I also had two DUIs. One of them in LA county. Did you get to go through LA's scared straight program and visit the morgue and go to that victim's impact panel downtown?

HOW did that not put enough of a wake-up call into my awareness?? I don't know. It's amazing. Years later I scored a second DUI with all of that but a distant memory.

You have a fantastic opportunity.... 27??? Holy crap how I wish I'd learnt and made a choice for sobriety back then.... how much pain and expense and agony it would have spared me. How much further ahead I'd be!!!

But, no regrets. It happened. I'm grateful here at the age of 41 and 227 days sober that I finally got it.

Welcome.

AcceptableAdder

I hired an attorney and didn't get into much trouble, although in retrospect I wish I would have gotten a slightly worse punishment than just mandatory classes. I suppose hindsight is always 20/20 though. However i'm still dealing with the current one. Only one year apart almost exactly, the second one with a TC. No one was hurt luckily, except maybe my pride.

Thanks for the support, its only day 2 for me but I am hopeful.

227 days very nice!

Also Travis9028 my partner has said the same thing to me. It's hard to hear these things from friends and even harder from the one you love, hang in there!

theatredork

Welcome! Keep reading and posting! I think you'll find support and people who have had similar experiences.

travis9028

I will. She has admitted that she has troubles with alcohol addiction and overindulgence, I wish she would try the proactive approach as I am trying instead of just giving up on us.

I am surprised my DUI wasn't a wake up call enough for me either. I could have killed myself, big deal, what about the kid or families I could have taken out with me!

My number one goal right now is to start the group on Sunday and stay clean through December 31st. So I can start fresh and the sober calendar over again for 2015! Does anyone have advice to help prevent relapsing?

Dee74

Welcome to Sr AcceptableAdder

D

Hevyn

Welcome Acceptable! It's great to have you join us. You are not alone

I felt that same way when I joined SR. I was exhausted from trying to control what I drank & from seeking the fun that it used to be. I finally admitted there was never any way I'd be a social drinker. Every time I picked up it led to disaster. Life is so much better when we're free of it. You can do this.