Introducing myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Introducing myself
Howdy all,
I've decided to take the plunge and de-lurk :-) I appreciate all the strength, hope and experience that everybody has shared. Ya'll are great :-)
My personal challenge is to learn how to take care of myself. I'm the caretaker type, as a child I was the only grown-up in my alcoholic family. Now I have no clue how to _not_ take on all the responsibilites of the world. We've had a bad year. Well, we've had a lousy year. Friends and family have had all kinds of problems, my wife is disabled and her health has been poor the last six months. It seems like everything is going wrong at the same time.
I have lots to be grateful. My sobriety (I'm a member of several programs. Some days I feel like an alphabet soup :-) My new family is made up of healthy, happy people who are enduring all this hardship with awesome courage. I've got great friends that truly care for me. Still, my emotions are bouncing all over the place. I have a truly blessed life, and the ability to be of service and emotional support to all these people who are in need. I _should_ be happy.
Instead, I'm a mess. The emotions just ping-pong off the walls. I'm not really sure, but I think I'm just emotionally exhausted from taking care of everybody but myself. So I'm going to start taking care of myself starting now.
Don't ask me how, I've never done this before :-)
So here I am. I intend to learn from you folks as much as I can, and to give back if I should have the
opportunity.
Thanx for having this place, I really need a little corner to sit in and hide for awhile :-)
Mike :-)
I've decided to take the plunge and de-lurk :-) I appreciate all the strength, hope and experience that everybody has shared. Ya'll are great :-)
My personal challenge is to learn how to take care of myself. I'm the caretaker type, as a child I was the only grown-up in my alcoholic family. Now I have no clue how to _not_ take on all the responsibilites of the world. We've had a bad year. Well, we've had a lousy year. Friends and family have had all kinds of problems, my wife is disabled and her health has been poor the last six months. It seems like everything is going wrong at the same time.
I have lots to be grateful. My sobriety (I'm a member of several programs. Some days I feel like an alphabet soup :-) My new family is made up of healthy, happy people who are enduring all this hardship with awesome courage. I've got great friends that truly care for me. Still, my emotions are bouncing all over the place. I have a truly blessed life, and the ability to be of service and emotional support to all these people who are in need. I _should_ be happy.
Instead, I'm a mess. The emotions just ping-pong off the walls. I'm not really sure, but I think I'm just emotionally exhausted from taking care of everybody but myself. So I'm going to start taking care of myself starting now.
Don't ask me how, I've never done this before :-)
So here I am. I intend to learn from you folks as much as I can, and to give back if I should have the
opportunity.
Thanx for having this place, I really need a little corner to sit in and hide for awhile :-)
Mike :-)
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: No where
Posts: 79
Welcome DesertEyes
I'm fairly new here too. I started out by just picking one thing a day that I did just for myself. On Fridays I go to an Alanon meeting and that hour is for myself. Our topic last Friday was How Do we Love Ourselves? When I spoke I told them I didn't have time, except when I started Alanon 3 months ago I also started going for a swim every morning by myself. I am not only getting exercise, I am doing something for me. Even just taking off for a walk with the dogs so I can mumble and grumble to myself or out loud helps me. Reading here is somethings else I do. Don't hide in that corner, get out and try to do something that you haven't done in a long time, just for you. Anyway welcome again.
I'm fairly new here too. I started out by just picking one thing a day that I did just for myself. On Fridays I go to an Alanon meeting and that hour is for myself. Our topic last Friday was How Do we Love Ourselves? When I spoke I told them I didn't have time, except when I started Alanon 3 months ago I also started going for a swim every morning by myself. I am not only getting exercise, I am doing something for me. Even just taking off for a walk with the dogs so I can mumble and grumble to myself or out loud helps me. Reading here is somethings else I do. Don't hide in that corner, get out and try to do something that you haven't done in a long time, just for you. Anyway welcome again.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: fresno, ca
Posts: 17
I am with ChillGal, I do a lot of the same things. It's funny how I had always been so quick to comfort, support or inspire somebody else, but when it came to myself I had no clue. I was so out of touch with my own needs, that my mind would just draw a blank. I didn't give myself any of the things I gave others. No words of encouragement, no pep talks, I undermind my own self worth and confidence with harsh negative criticism. Somewhere deep inside I must have felt I didn't deserve better, I really don't know. I began to heal by taking little steps, like ChillGal walking the dogs, reading postive things, giving to myself, changing the dialog in my head to something more positive. I used to think that I needed to find the best course of action or the right path to follow, and then realized there is no best way to do something, there are many ways to improve, you only have to pick one and start there. . When i waited for the right way or the best way I got stuck in indecision. Its a worthwhile journey and I for one am going to love watching us all grow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Originally Posted by DesertEyes
I think I'm just emotionally exhausted from taking care of everybody but myself.
I can relate to that feeling. Welcome to Sober Recovery. I'm glad you decided to "de-lurk". Get comfortable, but you really don't have to sit in the corner buddy, okay?
Gabe
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Originally Posted by DesertEyes
It seems like everything is going wrong at the same time.
You used the word grateful in your post.
Works for me most days.
Welcome Mike.
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Hi Mike,
There is a great Al-Anon book called "From Survival to Recovery." It was written by and for ACoA's. It may help give you some tools for taking care of yourself. There is also a daily meditation book called "Hope for Today." Also written for and by ACoA's. If you get a chance to visit a nearby Al-Anon group, check them out. They have helped me to experience and let go of those emotions that have ruled most of my life. I have found a lot of balance that I was lacking. Welcome to SR. Hope to see a lot of you around. Hugs, Magic
There is a great Al-Anon book called "From Survival to Recovery." It was written by and for ACoA's. It may help give you some tools for taking care of yourself. There is also a daily meditation book called "Hope for Today." Also written for and by ACoA's. If you get a chance to visit a nearby Al-Anon group, check them out. They have helped me to experience and let go of those emotions that have ruled most of my life. I have found a lot of balance that I was lacking. Welcome to SR. Hope to see a lot of you around. Hugs, Magic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
thanx for the warm welcome
ChillGal said:
>> ... I started out by just picking one thing a day that I did just for myself. On Fridays ...
Excellent advice :-) I'm a little short on time right now. I squeeze in a meeting whenever I can, which is ok but not as good as a regular home group. So my current goal is to find a new home group that meets at a time I can actually get to on a regular basis. 'course, the real clincher is to _not_ feel guilty when I try to do something for myself <lol>
>> ... Don't hide in that corner, get out and try to do something that you haven't done in a long time, just for you.
Working on that. Not quite ready to go that far just yet. I'm a work in progress ;-)
-----------------------------
dark angel said:
>> ... It's funny how I had always been so quick to comfort, support or inspire somebody else, but when it came to myself I had no clue.
Yup, that's me allright :-)
>> ... Somewhere deep inside I must have felt I didn't deserve better,
ok. Dunno 'bout that. Going to have to take a long hard look in the mirror and see if that fits me too. Absolutely _hate_ looking in that mirror, always winds up good in the long run, but in the short run it hurts like a &%^$^&$
---------------------------------------------------
Gabe said:
>> Get comfortable, but you really don't have to sit in the corner buddy, okay?
Comfortable? Don't think I've been comfortable anywhere. No matter how far I run or how deep I hide it always feels like I'm still hiding under the bed in that old house I was raised in. Those people have all been dead for years, the house was torn down decades ago, and I just can't seem to take that one last step and leave that place behind for good.
------------------------------------------------
DangerousDan said:
>> ... You used the word grateful in your post. Works for me most days...
Ah yes. I've got plenty of that allright. I have no idea what this Higher Power is all about, but whatever it is has given me a life I never dreamed I could have.
-----------------------------------------------------
Magic said:
>> ... There is a great Al-Anon book called ...
Thanx for the books, just wrote 'em into my list of things to do. 'course, that means I have to find time to sit down and read something that's good for me, instead of something that's good for my business <lol>
>> ... If you get a chance to visit a nearby Al-Anon group, check them out.
ok, been a _long_ time since I went to an Al-anon group. They weren't really geared for ACA's back then, but maybe they've changed.
---------------------------------------------
thanx for the warm welcome, everybody. You guys are great.
DesertEyes
>> ... I started out by just picking one thing a day that I did just for myself. On Fridays ...
Excellent advice :-) I'm a little short on time right now. I squeeze in a meeting whenever I can, which is ok but not as good as a regular home group. So my current goal is to find a new home group that meets at a time I can actually get to on a regular basis. 'course, the real clincher is to _not_ feel guilty when I try to do something for myself <lol>
>> ... Don't hide in that corner, get out and try to do something that you haven't done in a long time, just for you.
Working on that. Not quite ready to go that far just yet. I'm a work in progress ;-)
-----------------------------
dark angel said:
>> ... It's funny how I had always been so quick to comfort, support or inspire somebody else, but when it came to myself I had no clue.
Yup, that's me allright :-)
>> ... Somewhere deep inside I must have felt I didn't deserve better,
ok. Dunno 'bout that. Going to have to take a long hard look in the mirror and see if that fits me too. Absolutely _hate_ looking in that mirror, always winds up good in the long run, but in the short run it hurts like a &%^$^&$
---------------------------------------------------
Gabe said:
>> Get comfortable, but you really don't have to sit in the corner buddy, okay?
Comfortable? Don't think I've been comfortable anywhere. No matter how far I run or how deep I hide it always feels like I'm still hiding under the bed in that old house I was raised in. Those people have all been dead for years, the house was torn down decades ago, and I just can't seem to take that one last step and leave that place behind for good.
------------------------------------------------
DangerousDan said:
>> ... You used the word grateful in your post. Works for me most days...
Ah yes. I've got plenty of that allright. I have no idea what this Higher Power is all about, but whatever it is has given me a life I never dreamed I could have.
-----------------------------------------------------
Magic said:
>> ... There is a great Al-Anon book called ...
Thanx for the books, just wrote 'em into my list of things to do. 'course, that means I have to find time to sit down and read something that's good for me, instead of something that's good for my business <lol>
>> ... If you get a chance to visit a nearby Al-Anon group, check them out.
ok, been a _long_ time since I went to an Al-anon group. They weren't really geared for ACA's back then, but maybe they've changed.
---------------------------------------------
thanx for the warm welcome, everybody. You guys are great.
DesertEyes
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
ok, been a _long_ time since I went to an Al-anon group. They weren't really geared for ACA's back then, but maybe they've changed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by Magichappens
I went to Al-Anon a long time ago and didn't get a lot out of it. They haven't changed, but I have.
DesertEyes
Thanx for letting me know :-)Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: fresno, ca
Posts: 17
DesertEyes, come out from under your bed and play with us, I am gratefull for all the people who post here. I am gratefull for you, we all have something to give no matter where we are in our recovery. DarkAngel
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by dark angel
DesertEyes, come out from under your bed and play with us, I am gratefull for all the people who post here. I am gratefull for you, we all have something to give no matter where we are in our recovery. DarkAngel
<sheesh, I _hate_ to share >
So here goes, I posted on the secrets thread, and I'll post more whenever I can :-)
thanx again :-)
Mike :-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 353
"Going to drag me into recovery kicking and screaming"
No, we will just give you a push now and then when you stop pedaling...or maybe just a nudge or a noogie when you need it~
i am glad you are not lurking anymore mike!
alice
No, we will just give you a push now and then when you stop pedaling...or maybe just a nudge or a noogie when you need it~
i am glad you are not lurking anymore mike!
alice
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