Its taken me an hour
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: leeds
Posts: 124
Its taken me an hour
to pluck up the courage to post after YET another failure
Only 2 weeks ago was doing fine then picked up - no reason or trigger just the AV and the sheer spite that it was Friday only an addict knows
6 days (that's how quick) on Thursday I asked my husband to call out my GP who took one look at the wreck in a dressing gown with 4 empty wine bottles in front of me at 11.am and phoned an ambulance
Am home now after a Librium detox and in all fairness to the NHS they were fantastic and thank heavens I had my own room as unbelievably there were people worse than me
As regards health well here goes ..............stage A liver cirrhosis which basically means if I carry on boozing goes to B......C then the morgue .......am I scared - YES but what's done is done the doctor said if I abstain FOREVER I can have a long happy life ....some comfort
Seeing my GP today and urgent appointments been made with addiction services
The true arrogance is I read posts on here / things on the news and always thought life or death alcoholism was for someone else
I DON'T NOW
I CHOOSE LIFE NOW HOWEVER HARD WITHOUT THE BOTTLE
I SIMPLY HAVE NO CHOICE
thanks for reading .........any support / advise as always gratefully received and maybe I will listen this time a bit more closely to the wonderful lot of you
Hope you are all doing good
Mike
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Only 2 weeks ago was doing fine then picked up - no reason or trigger just the AV and the sheer spite that it was Friday only an addict knows
6 days (that's how quick) on Thursday I asked my husband to call out my GP who took one look at the wreck in a dressing gown with 4 empty wine bottles in front of me at 11.am and phoned an ambulance
Am home now after a Librium detox and in all fairness to the NHS they were fantastic and thank heavens I had my own room as unbelievably there were people worse than me
As regards health well here goes ..............stage A liver cirrhosis which basically means if I carry on boozing goes to B......C then the morgue .......am I scared - YES but what's done is done the doctor said if I abstain FOREVER I can have a long happy life ....some comfort
Seeing my GP today and urgent appointments been made with addiction services
The true arrogance is I read posts on here / things on the news and always thought life or death alcoholism was for someone else
I DON'T NOW
I CHOOSE LIFE NOW HOWEVER HARD WITHOUT THE BOTTLE
I SIMPLY HAVE NO CHOICE
thanks for reading .........any support / advise as always gratefully received and maybe I will listen this time a bit more closely to the wonderful lot of you
Hope you are all doing good
Mike
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
Mike
Read you load and clear.
Things got desperate for me to and i was warned that to drink again could be a fatal last step for me.
I drank again of course, when i started feeling and looking better and my old cockiness crept back in.
The last time i was at deaths door.
I resolved when i put that last drink inside me that was it. Los endos.
I would do whatever (whether i agreed with it or not) was required to stay sober.
For me that is AA, S/R, living life on a spiritual basis and above all a recovery plan that was NOT devised by me!!!
I have been happily sober since 1.4.2013.
I am constantly vigilant and take nothing for granted.
I am here to tell you that it can be done with help, hard work and an open mind.
And that after the first few months of hell it becomes easier and eventually you realize that you are embarked on the most amazing journey of your life.
You can save yourself and be available to those that love you.
Courage my friend and make it better now.
G
Read you load and clear.
Things got desperate for me to and i was warned that to drink again could be a fatal last step for me.
I drank again of course, when i started feeling and looking better and my old cockiness crept back in.
The last time i was at deaths door.
I resolved when i put that last drink inside me that was it. Los endos.
I would do whatever (whether i agreed with it or not) was required to stay sober.
For me that is AA, S/R, living life on a spiritual basis and above all a recovery plan that was NOT devised by me!!!
I have been happily sober since 1.4.2013.
I am constantly vigilant and take nothing for granted.
I am here to tell you that it can be done with help, hard work and an open mind.
And that after the first few months of hell it becomes easier and eventually you realize that you are embarked on the most amazing journey of your life.
You can save yourself and be available to those that love you.
Courage my friend and make it better now.
G
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: leeds
Posts: 124
thanks afloat
I am willing to do WHATEVER it takes stepping out of my comfort zones and the most obvious taking my sobriety seriously as in not stopping for 5 -7 days going through hell and then oh I feel ok now one won't hurt
No more
AA been called later and I will overcome whatever anxiety / panic I feel - that won't kill me - the other option is getting nearer
congratulations on your sobriety
Mike
I am willing to do WHATEVER it takes stepping out of my comfort zones and the most obvious taking my sobriety seriously as in not stopping for 5 -7 days going through hell and then oh I feel ok now one won't hurt
No more
AA been called later and I will overcome whatever anxiety / panic I feel - that won't kill me - the other option is getting nearer
congratulations on your sobriety
Mike
Recovered People Pleaser
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 391
THREE FOLD..THREE
We can not just use one leg to balance the stool. if we do it falls over, If all we address is detox, we are only dry (not clean/sober). Half measures (much less thirds) avail us nothing. Sometimes the key is to work on First things First, but more often than not it is like cooking a meal on the stove, we must stir the gravy, not let the beans boil over and keep an eye on the bread ALL at the same time.
Recovery is the same. We must abstain (not pick up..no matter what), Change our thinking, Seek Good Orderly Direction, Pray and Meditate all the while examining ourselves (checking our motives, learning to be honest with ourselves) and serve others while we are yet learning. We must be diligent, lest we hit slippery slopes, recoil, make changes..This is recovery is a busy business..but when we get busy..we get better..and we do...recover. "there is a solution" and "more will be revealed".
Just remember it's progress not perfection, but it's a total commitment for life.
We can not just use one leg to balance the stool. if we do it falls over, If all we address is detox, we are only dry (not clean/sober). Half measures (much less thirds) avail us nothing. Sometimes the key is to work on First things First, but more often than not it is like cooking a meal on the stove, we must stir the gravy, not let the beans boil over and keep an eye on the bread ALL at the same time.
Recovery is the same. We must abstain (not pick up..no matter what), Change our thinking, Seek Good Orderly Direction, Pray and Meditate all the while examining ourselves (checking our motives, learning to be honest with ourselves) and serve others while we are yet learning. We must be diligent, lest we hit slippery slopes, recoil, make changes..This is recovery is a busy business..but when we get busy..we get better..and we do...recover. "there is a solution" and "more will be revealed".
Just remember it's progress not perfection, but it's a total commitment for life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
Thanks Mike
No AA wont kill you.
What saddens me is that for many of us we forget that our life is on the line here.
I (in common with others) start to get all indignant about treatment options and intellectual about the bloody illness.
Then we drink again and are crying into our bottles mumbling 'ill do anything'.
And dying AGAIN.
Don't fall into that trap.
Be prepared to do anything decent and wholesome to survive this and escape this prison.
The key is yours to use.
G
No AA wont kill you.
What saddens me is that for many of us we forget that our life is on the line here.
I (in common with others) start to get all indignant about treatment options and intellectual about the bloody illness.
Then we drink again and are crying into our bottles mumbling 'ill do anything'.
And dying AGAIN.
Don't fall into that trap.
Be prepared to do anything decent and wholesome to survive this and escape this prison.
The key is yours to use.
G
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hi Mike, you most certainly CAN quit drinking by making your very own plan. In fact, most people do it just like that. You CAN choose to quit drinking, and you CAN choose to quit drinking forever. Just like that. It is a dead simple choice that is within your power to make.
Is it easy? No one can tell you how difficult it will be for you. That remains to be seen. It is a hard cold naked truth that the degree of difficulty is completely up to you. You get to choose whether this will be over and done this second. Believe in yourself, believe that you deserve a life without alcohol, and you can have it.
You CAN do it, and you can give yourself permission to succeed at this. Are you ready to quit drinking for good? Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Is it easy? No one can tell you how difficult it will be for you. That remains to be seen. It is a hard cold naked truth that the degree of difficulty is completely up to you. You get to choose whether this will be over and done this second. Believe in yourself, believe that you deserve a life without alcohol, and you can have it.
You CAN do it, and you can give yourself permission to succeed at this. Are you ready to quit drinking for good? Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: leeds
Posts: 124
thanks all
Already stepped out of comfort zone
Dialed AA and got through to my area and a lovely sounding gentlemen is picking me up at 11am tomorrow to go for a coffee and a chat about AA and any questions I have / concerns etc
Got a good feeling about this time
Mike
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Already stepped out of comfort zone
Dialed AA and got through to my area and a lovely sounding gentlemen is picking me up at 11am tomorrow to go for a coffee and a chat about AA and any questions I have / concerns etc
Got a good feeling about this time
Mike
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Good news Mike.
I hope you go to a meeting and meet like minded people.
I put off going to AA for a long time,my Alcoholism progressed,eventually I was desperate enough to call the helpline and get to a meeting.I have never needed to drink Alcohol since.I love my life today,it is hard at first but worth sticking with.
I wish you well.
I hope you go to a meeting and meet like minded people.
I put off going to AA for a long time,my Alcoholism progressed,eventually I was desperate enough to call the helpline and get to a meeting.I have never needed to drink Alcohol since.I love my life today,it is hard at first but worth sticking with.
I wish you well.
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