Fallen but still standing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 585
Fallen but still standing
I had a great couple of days. Stayed busy which is essential for my sobriety. Had several hours of down time late afternoon yesterday and had a few. I did not get drunk and no hangovers.
But I feel like I was really lucky as usually I won't stop. I know me no matter how much I lie to myself. Anyway, even though I did not get drunk, I reset my date of sobriety. Sobriety to me is no alcohol.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
But I feel like I was really lucky as usually I won't stop. I know me no matter how much I lie to myself. Anyway, even though I did not get drunk, I reset my date of sobriety. Sobriety to me is no alcohol.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Charlie117926 
Sobriety to me is no alcohol.
.
.
You can't stay busy all the time. Hope you can find a recovery that allows you to sit quietly without feeling the need to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Get back at it Charlie! And don't let your AV mess with you, because it will. I was thinking today how much I'd love a glass of wine tonight. I picked up some fresh mussels on the way home from the beach, a glass of cold white would be sooo perfect. And then I thought about what would happen:
1. I'd have ONE glass of white tonight. I'd really control myself because I'd be feeling guilty anyway and want to prove my strength.
2. I'd not drink for another couple of days because I felt so bad.
3. A few days later my AV would trick me and say "see, you did it the other night, you CAN have just one"
4. I'd drink again, not too much, but a bit more.
5. Either the next day or the day after that I'd be back to daily drinking to excess.
I want #1 on the list. But #1 will inevitably lead to #'s 2-5 so I can't do it.
Stop yourself here, don't go on to #2-5.
YOu can do it!
1. I'd have ONE glass of white tonight. I'd really control myself because I'd be feeling guilty anyway and want to prove my strength.
2. I'd not drink for another couple of days because I felt so bad.
3. A few days later my AV would trick me and say "see, you did it the other night, you CAN have just one"
4. I'd drink again, not too much, but a bit more.
5. Either the next day or the day after that I'd be back to daily drinking to excess.
I want #1 on the list. But #1 will inevitably lead to #'s 2-5 so I can't do it.
Stop yourself here, don't go on to #2-5.
YOu can do it!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Charlie117926
. Had several hours of down time late afternoon yesterday and had a few.
It seems now...that I want sobriety even more than I want to quit drinking. I want what sobriety has to offer. I want to learn how to handle my life head on and sober. I am so very tired of where I have been..how I have handled things...how completely underdeveloped my life and emotional muscle has become.
What will you do the next time you have "down time"?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi Charlie.
As Dee often says, it was the times he got away with having a few that were dangerous. It was encouraging to have success - then we feel like we have control. We know better though. I'm glad you recognize you're putting yourself in danger. I usually just kept going when I slipped - & turned my world upside down once again. This won't happen to you.
As Dee often says, it was the times he got away with having a few that were dangerous. It was encouraging to have success - then we feel like we have control. We know better though. I'm glad you recognize you're putting yourself in danger. I usually just kept going when I slipped - & turned my world upside down once again. This won't happen to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 585
Thanks for all the responses and help. It's true, I can't stay busy 24/7 so ill have to figure out down time solutions. The family is gone for the next 4 hours so I grilled a nice lunch and watching the local ball game. Last week I would have already been 7 deep. But today I chose not to drink.
I would really like to get some time under my belt so I could in turn start helping others on SR instead of always being the one asking for help.
Again thank you all for the continued support as you are my support system.
I would really like to get some time under my belt so I could in turn start helping others on SR instead of always being the one asking for help.
Again thank you all for the continued support as you are my support system.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Get back at it Charlie! And don't let your AV mess with you, because it will. I was thinking today how much I'd love a glass of wine tonight. I picked up some fresh mussels on the way home from the beach, a glass of cold white would be sooo perfect. And then I thought about what would happen:
1. I'd have ONE glass of white tonight. I'd really control myself because I'd be feeling guilty anyway and want to prove my strength.
2. I'd not drink for another couple of days because I felt so bad.
3. A few days later my AV would trick me and say "see, you did it the other night, you CAN have just one"
4. I'd drink again, not too much, but a bit more.
5. Either the next day or the day after that I'd be back to daily drinking to excess.
I want #1 on the list. But #1 will inevitably lead to #'s 2-5 so I can't do it.
Stop yourself here, don't go on to #2-5.
YOu can do it!
1. I'd have ONE glass of white tonight. I'd really control myself because I'd be feeling guilty anyway and want to prove my strength.
2. I'd not drink for another couple of days because I felt so bad.
3. A few days later my AV would trick me and say "see, you did it the other night, you CAN have just one"
4. I'd drink again, not too much, but a bit more.
5. Either the next day or the day after that I'd be back to daily drinking to excess.
I want #1 on the list. But #1 will inevitably lead to #'s 2-5 so I can't do it.
Stop yourself here, don't go on to #2-5.
YOu can do it!
Yep that’s the way it works! Alcohol is cunning, powerful and so baffling. The huge problem is that so many do not make it back after a relapse for various reasons, often shame and despair.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Charlie117926
Thanks for all the responses and help. It's true, I can't stay busy 24/7 so ill have to figure out down time solutions. The family is gone for the next 4 hours so I grilled a nice lunch and watching the local ball game. Last week I would have already been 7 deep. But today I chose not to drink.
I would really like to get some time under my belt so I could in turn start helping others on SR instead of always being the one asking for help.
Again thank you all for the continued support as you are my support system.
I would really like to get some time under my belt so I could in turn start helping others on SR instead of always being the one asking for help.
Again thank you all for the continued support as you are my support system.
When I had the feeling of being sick and tired of being sick and tired I immersed myself in and became very active in AA. Much first hand face to face help from people who understand each other along with the BS of new comers.
Many have to get honest with themselves about their drinking and have the attitude of going to ANY length to get and stay sober.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Ouch.
sometimes telling people things they dont really want to hear is needed
like when i was ranting on and on about my ex wife or how bad my life was etc people told me that if they was unhappy being sober as i was then they would go back on the drink
how dare they say that to me the cheeky buggers lol : ) but it worked as i knew i had to look at me and why thing were still hurting me today my shares in aa are not half as bad although i can still get moments of anger over my son or the way life has turned out, but i am still happy and grateful to be sober thanks to the many kicks up the bum or ouch moments that come my way at times
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Originally Posted by desypete
lol sadly there are plenty of ouch moments in aa nu its not all about being kind in a soft way either
sometimes telling people things they dont really want to hear is needed
like when i was ranting on and on about my ex wife or how bad my life was etc people told me that if they was unhappy being sober as i was then they would go back on the drink
how dare they say that to me the cheeky buggers lol : ) but it worked as i knew i had to look at me and why thing were still hurting me today my shares in aa are not half as bad although i can still get moments of anger over my son or the way life has turned out, but i am still happy and grateful to be sober thanks to the many kicks up the bum or ouch moments that come my way at times
sometimes telling people things they dont really want to hear is needed
like when i was ranting on and on about my ex wife or how bad my life was etc people told me that if they was unhappy being sober as i was then they would go back on the drink
how dare they say that to me the cheeky buggers lol : ) but it worked as i knew i had to look at me and why thing were still hurting me today my shares in aa are not half as bad although i can still get moments of anger over my son or the way life has turned out, but i am still happy and grateful to be sober thanks to the many kicks up the bum or ouch moments that come my way at times
Thought love is appropriate sometimes, but this case does not apply.
Respectfully, Patman
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by Thepatman
I would have to disagree somewhat desypete. This member is only beginning the journey, and specifically said that he realizes that sobriety = no Alcohool.
Thought love is appropriate sometimes, but this case does not apply.
Respectfully, Patman
Thought love is appropriate sometimes, but this case does not apply.
Respectfully, Patman
i wasnt refering to the post in terms of saying well done for a kick up the bum i was merely pointing out than in aa there are plenty of ouch moments lol
or maybe this is a time i should of kept my gob shut : ) ?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 585
No offense taken at all from anyone. I come here to get support and the occasional lashing. I restarted my sobriety clock on Sunday morning and all has been well. Feel great and slept great. Like I said earlier, I did not get drunk Saturday, just had a couple, but that is not what I want out of sobriety. I do not want any alcohol. Thanks to everyone for the comments and support. 35 hours under my belt.
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