lastchance4me

Good morning. Thank you to all who responded to my last post.
I screwed up royally on Friday and potentially damaged a couple of family relationships and could have caused grave damage to myself or others.
That said. I have spent two days crying etc knowing that will not change my stupidity. Now I need to look ahead and what I am going to do differently on a daily, hourly basis.
How do people do this? How do you move on knowing you do not want to forget what happened and what could have been, put using that proactively to move forward?
What daily routines do people have. Things that help you get through the day?
I am my own worst enemy. Alone drinker who has talked myself into drinking KNOWING I didn't want to. I don't even like the taste.
I'm not sure what I'm really saying or asking. Hope this makes sense to someone and I will hear wise words

PurpleKnight

It's almost a human trait that the bad things in life will fade into the past, the intense feelings of regret will slowly soften and allow us to move forward, the saying time is a great healer is very true, but there needs to be some distance put between now and the events of the past.

Proactively moving forward then is the only thing we can do, the past can't be changed, but we can certainly rewrite our future!!

Alcohol for me was a habit, every evening, it took me to create some new habits to squeeze the old habit out of the picture, things like a long walk upon returning from work each day, when usually I'd be reaching for a bottle, I now lay my clothes out and brush my teeth every night, compared to blacking out into bed, every morning I have a large glass of water before leaving for work, on a Sunday morning I get up early and read a newspaper cover to cover, I would have been too hungover in the past and not up before midday, I now have some me time with a coffee and a good book at a local coffee shop.

These are all small things, new habits, but normal people do these things, all the while our minds are telling us, unless we're drinking into the early hours of the morning we're not having an exciting life, which is complete nonsense!!

Small steps, but you can get there!!

doggonecarl

I found that while shameful experiences and assorted woes due to drinking were a great incentive to quit, they weren't enough to see me through recovery. Our alcoholic minds "forget" or fail to bring to force, our drinking mishaps.

Work on the part of you that seeks alcohol to halt drinking before it starts. As for the voice, read up one AVRT, a key concept in Rational Recovery.

Anna

It sounds like you went through a tough time. Know that you never have to experience that again.

There are many things that happened in my drinking days that I will never forget. I have, and continue to, forgive myself. That's essential and it has nothing to do with forgetting. If you regret what could have been, use it as something to ensure that you move forward and don't make the same mistakes again.

Journaling is very helpful to get beyond regret/shame.

I do many things to get through the day. I always make time to read something spiritual and positive. This is something I can't do without. I also walk and/or do yoga. I spend time on SR which always inspires me. Meditation is helpful.

Ikelee

I have a couple of sobriety apps on my phone. I refer to them several times throughout the day. Sometimes I don't even realize that I'm slipping until I read a quote, message, or reading from one of my apps. Phew! I thank God at times for these precious insights which put me back on track.

Keep trying things until you find what works for you.

littlefish

I would not worry about forgetting. I think most of us will never forget the painful consequences. I continue to remember the worst of my drinking days like they were yesterday, and I am years sober.
Forgetting the consequences wasn't what had me relapsing. Desperately trying to believe in the magic of alcohol was. I was very aware of the price I might pay for drinking, but I kept gambling. I kept throwing the dice hoping for that safe drinking moment, hoping that I would be lucky and could drink without anything going wrong.
But, things always went wrong. I kept gambling and losing.

I finally stumbled onto the path of true recovery when I accepted my reality. I accepted that I could not, no matter how I tried to manipulate the situation, drink safely. I accepted that I can't drink, under any circumstances. I gave lots of people lip service and said, oh, I can't drink. but I was saying that to others, not to myself.
When I finally believed it myself, the change happened.

Thepatman

The key is not to forget the past mistakes, it's to avoid dwelling on them, letting them keep us from moving forward, and most importantly not repeat them by seeking support and remaining sober.

You are doing great! Keep trucking! Baby steps friend, baby steps