Butterfly

I hear there is meaning behind every dream but I have never been able to interpret them. I haven't dreamt of separated AH since he left 5 months ago even though I think of him constantly. Last night I dreamt of him I can't remember everything just that we spent time together looking into each other's eyes then as he left I told him I loved him and wanted him home his reply was we will see and he touched my face as he always did when he was being tender and loving. I woke up at this point and haven't been able to stop thinking about it and it's left me feeling sad. I don't know if it's telling me I'm stilling holding on and he's still calling the shots which of course I am and he is, if it means something else or is just a dream.

It has left me slightly un nerved and I don't know why maybe just because I haven't dreamt of him. Maybe I am reading to much into it and I should just let it go just like my marriage.

Yurt

Butterfly,

I too dreamt of my AH last night for the first, and for me it has been 2 1/2 months. Mine also saddened me, but I had much to do today, and just kept very busy. Rather than lay in bed thinking about it (I woke from my dream about an hour earlier than I usually would on a Sunday), I leapt out of bed and accomplished as much as I could. Then made plans for dinner with my DD and a good friend of mine. By tomorrow, the dream will have washed away.
I would suggest a similar strategy. Don't dwell on it too much, and the pain will pass.

Butterfly

Thanks yurt that's exactly what I did I got up and got organised I had to work for a couple of hours then came home home and had a pizza and movie night with DS, DD is off sunning herself lol. Now I have more work to do from home so keeping occupied!!

firebolt

Sometimes I think we have some of those kinds of dreams to remind us of how easily we can lie to ourselves when we want something unreasonable. I really, really think these are subconscious reminders.

I've had the same tender dreams, only to be woken violently up soon after by a thrashing pushing, kicking, spitting, death smelling drunken ABF. I'm sorry, dreams - especially emotional ones can be so confusing!

Butterfly

Aren't they just firebolt!!

Timeiskey

[QUOTE=firebolt;4834178]

I've had the same tender dreams, only to be woken violently up soon after by a thrashing pushing, kicking, spitting, death smelling drunken ABF.QUOTE]

Firebolt! This sounds just like my exABF. I didn't realize it was related to the drinking early on, but after awhile I figured it out. Mine would moan and talk, some of the most disturbing snoring, would raise his knees, kick, throw his arms, just be in constant motion... It became so disgusting to me over time. We only slept in the same bed a handful of times in the last few months, because I couldn't sleep and he was more concerned with the bottle than the intimacy of sharing sleep together.

unsureoffuture

I have also had those dreams. In the dream STBXAH and I are together again or comptemplating being together again. I then wake up to the reality that nothing has changed and he is STBXAH for a reason. I just think its all part of the grieving process.

Timeiskey

Right Unsure, I think of it as my subconscious trying to process it all. I've had dreams where my ex and I were in a loving embrace...and then some where I was rejected again...one where I walked away from him...all of them just seem like my ID attempting to reconcile with reality ;(

Butterfly

I have enough trouble grieving in the waking hours never mind in my dreams lol. I think it freaked me because I hadn't dreamt of him since he left. When we were together I use to dream all the time about him leaving!!

amy55

I didn't have these kind of dreams. I know that when I dream, even trying to remember the dream, they quickly fade away, (except when they are recurring dreams). Did anyone have a re-run dream, like watching a movie many times? Those were the ones that I remembered.

I had a recurring dream when I was married, actually had many, but this one I was standing on a ledge on the side of a cliff. I'm afraid of height. I was paralyzed, couldn't move, or do anything. The ledge was only about a foot wide. It was a cloudy overcast dreary day. I just stood there. Then the ledge started to recede. It was disappearing into the cliff. There was nothing I could do. I was going to fall.

I had to jump. Thought that was my best choice. If I waited for the ledge to disappear, I was going to go straight down. There were rocks down there and a stormy ocean. Thought I would have better luck to jump into the ocean.

I jumped. I landed. I landed on a sunny beach with people all around and children laughing and playing. The sun was out, it was a gorgeous day !!!!!!!

Sometimes I think when we have the dreams of an H where they are loving and caring, I think it is just that. We didn't give up the fantasy of the life we wanted to have.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))