I felt like drinking last night
Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 164
I felt like drinking last night
Last night while I was getting ready to go to bed, I was in the bathroom washing my face. I was looking in the mirror for a good five minutes just thinking how I wanted to be sitting outside my apartment on my back deck and just drink wine and smoke cigarettes. I was basically reminiscing about my 'good' times.
It was weird... Like I was in a trance.
I knocked it out though. I have a scale sitting in my bathroom and it reminded me that I wanted to lose weight and get the healthy body I knew I could achieve if I were sober. (That's not the only reason why I'm getting sober, just one of the many that popped into my head at the time.)
So I went to bed and was laying there thinking of all the reasons I needed/wanted to quit. I was up for quite a bit but it did help me feel relieved that I did the right thing by quitting.
So today, I'm going to make a list of reasons as to why I'm not drinking and write them down. I think I'll keep the list in my pocket or perhaps on my phone because, let's face it, my phone goes anywhere I go! Lol! I'll have the list with me at all times to look at whenever I feel the thoughts of drinking creeping in again.
Anyways, just checking in. Woke up day 16 sober!
Hope everyone has a restful Sunday!
It was weird... Like I was in a trance.
I knocked it out though. I have a scale sitting in my bathroom and it reminded me that I wanted to lose weight and get the healthy body I knew I could achieve if I were sober. (That's not the only reason why I'm getting sober, just one of the many that popped into my head at the time.)
So I went to bed and was laying there thinking of all the reasons I needed/wanted to quit. I was up for quite a bit but it did help me feel relieved that I did the right thing by quitting.
So today, I'm going to make a list of reasons as to why I'm not drinking and write them down. I think I'll keep the list in my pocket or perhaps on my phone because, let's face it, my phone goes anywhere I go! Lol! I'll have the list with me at all times to look at whenever I feel the thoughts of drinking creeping in again.
Anyways, just checking in. Woke up day 16 sober!
Hope everyone has a restful Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Congratulations on 18 days, Rosie!
And great job on thinking it through last night. It is easy to romanticize the drink. I did a little of that last night on my deck! The difference now is that I quickly realize what giving in to that romantic notion would really produce: the same old guilt, shame, anxiety, obsessing, and hangovers that brought me here in the first place. Fighting a craving is no longer a white-knuckle experience but more of a quick, logical thought process. It will get better for you too, I am sure.
Good idea about the list, too. I made two lists in early days: why I don't want to drink again, and the flip side of that, why not drinking is so good. Those lists really did help me stay focused.
Again, congratulations on your success over the last few weeks and last night. Onward!
And great job on thinking it through last night. It is easy to romanticize the drink. I did a little of that last night on my deck! The difference now is that I quickly realize what giving in to that romantic notion would really produce: the same old guilt, shame, anxiety, obsessing, and hangovers that brought me here in the first place. Fighting a craving is no longer a white-knuckle experience but more of a quick, logical thought process. It will get better for you too, I am sure.
Good idea about the list, too. I made two lists in early days: why I don't want to drink again, and the flip side of that, why not drinking is so good. Those lists really did help me stay focused.
Again, congratulations on your success over the last few weeks and last night. Onward!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
That is recovery at it's best Rosie! It involves so much more then not drink, it is a time in our life to introspect and find out why we need to stop, why we drank in the first place and make changes to our lifestyle.
Thanks for the awesome post, sorry to say it so bluntly, but YOU totally rock!
Thanks for the awesome post, sorry to say it so bluntly, but YOU totally rock!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I went to a get together yesterday at a friend's on the beach. It was a perfect summer day. Super warm but not hot. A wind blowing away any bugs, the water refreshing. Pretty much everyone was drinking except me and the children and dogs.
After a while, it became apparent the children and dogs were having way more fun than I was. I found myself feeling grumpy and bored and envious of others - beers in hand and happy buzzed smiles on their faces, talking loudly about anything and nothing, rehashing old drunken times.
I felt out of place and somewhat pissed off. I wanted a beer. I wanted three beers. I wanted to be like everybody else, just having fun and enjoying this summer day with a smiling loud happy buzz in my head.
A couple hours later, watching the sun go down, watching several of my fellows now stumbling a bit and still talking loudly about nothing - I was glad I was drinking a soda and feeling clear-headed. I was still a little bit 'out of place' feeling and a little bored with the loud nothing-talk.... but I was able to be grateful for the beauty of the sunset and let go of my frustrations.
Today, I'm very glad to wake up without a hangover and several thousand less calories adding fat to my girth.
Happy Sober Sunday.
After a while, it became apparent the children and dogs were having way more fun than I was. I found myself feeling grumpy and bored and envious of others - beers in hand and happy buzzed smiles on their faces, talking loudly about anything and nothing, rehashing old drunken times.
I felt out of place and somewhat pissed off. I wanted a beer. I wanted three beers. I wanted to be like everybody else, just having fun and enjoying this summer day with a smiling loud happy buzz in my head.
A couple hours later, watching the sun go down, watching several of my fellows now stumbling a bit and still talking loudly about nothing - I was glad I was drinking a soda and feeling clear-headed. I was still a little bit 'out of place' feeling and a little bored with the loud nothing-talk.... but I was able to be grateful for the beauty of the sunset and let go of my frustrations.
Today, I'm very glad to wake up without a hangover and several thousand less calories adding fat to my girth.
Happy Sober Sunday.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i have many mental pictures in my mind of the horrors i went through with drinking, i never want them back again
writing down a list of things you have done when drinking is certainly one good idea to build up a mental picture of the horrors of drinking
from wakeing up in a wet bed and the fear of trying to hide the wet bed
to waking up in a police cell were i have wet myself and no clean clothes to change into
to going to prison for my drunken fights etc
good times with drink are for other people as for me it just brought me shame and guild and remorse and a life were i hid away from people out of fear for what i had done
so try to build up that mental picture in your own head and it will certainly help you out in times of need : )
writing down a list of things you have done when drinking is certainly one good idea to build up a mental picture of the horrors of drinking
from wakeing up in a wet bed and the fear of trying to hide the wet bed
to waking up in a police cell were i have wet myself and no clean clothes to change into
to going to prison for my drunken fights etc
good times with drink are for other people as for me it just brought me shame and guild and remorse and a life were i hid away from people out of fear for what i had done
so try to build up that mental picture in your own head and it will certainly help you out in times of need : )
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
Great job Rosie! I have had similar experiences on my journey as well and I've found that as I conquer those moments, it makes my desire to stay quit even stronger! Be proud for every moment you slay the dragon!
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