Friday Night at the Fair
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Friday Night at the Fair
Well, I just got home from my local "country fair". An old friend contacted me via FB last night apologizing for the short notice but would I be interested in going with her. Drinking me would not have been interested (and sadly, even despite the fact I have not seen her since her husband's funeral a few short months ago)... I know drinking me would have declined and preferred staying home with my wine after a long day at work. We made arrangements to go. An old iconic band from "my country ..and my youth was playing this evening (it was Trooper...my fellow SR Canadians). Anyways, we had a lovely time. She is still struggling with the death of her husband and at one point early on wanted to go to the beer garden (she's not really a drinker normally). I told her I was sober but would attend with her if she wanted a drink. I could see she struggled for a moment..but then said "ya..I need a drink". She just had the one.
I didn't feel triggered whatsoever (I was armed with my Diet Coke lol)...but I saw something that shocked me. At one point I looked over at the booze lineup and recognized someone I knew casually..someone I knew who had been very active in AA and had probably bout a decade of sobriety. I couldn't help but watch to see what she was doing..
I saw her buy a beer...I saw her drink the beer. I was sad for a moment. She never saw me..and I'm glad of that. It shocked me..really did.
Later, at the concert before the band began, I saw a guy walk by. I couldn't help but notice he showed every visible sign to me of alcoholism. He wasn't staggering or anything. It was just something I saw in the skin..in the eyes. About an hour later I saw him being escorted out by security...now staggering and stumbling...
Anyways...I had a lovely evening with my friend. I was out and about on a Friday night...stone cold sober...and it was grand.
Okay...we did leave before the band finished. The bleachers were startin' to hurt my bum, it was getting cold..and well, I'm getting old. Heard a few old hits but I'm happy to be in my bed here with you all...before midnight.
Wishing you another sober 24.
I didn't feel triggered whatsoever (I was armed with my Diet Coke lol)...but I saw something that shocked me. At one point I looked over at the booze lineup and recognized someone I knew casually..someone I knew who had been very active in AA and had probably bout a decade of sobriety. I couldn't help but watch to see what she was doing..
I saw her buy a beer...I saw her drink the beer. I was sad for a moment. She never saw me..and I'm glad of that. It shocked me..really did.
Later, at the concert before the band began, I saw a guy walk by. I couldn't help but notice he showed every visible sign to me of alcoholism. He wasn't staggering or anything. It was just something I saw in the skin..in the eyes. About an hour later I saw him being escorted out by security...now staggering and stumbling...
Anyways...I had a lovely evening with my friend. I was out and about on a Friday night...stone cold sober...and it was grand.
Okay...we did leave before the band finished. The bleachers were startin' to hurt my bum, it was getting cold..and well, I'm getting old. Heard a few old hits but I'm happy to be in my bed here with you all...before midnight.
Wishing you another sober 24.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Happy post-midnight Nuu 
So glad to read that you were able too get out for a bit and have some fun and friendship. Interestingly, when I read the sentence "Drinking me would not have been interested...", my first reaction was "awww. She's not that fun then?". Then I got to the part that the drinking you would have "preferred staying home with [your] wine after a long day at work"...I thought, oh my gosh! Choosing booze is choosing booze. I need to keep reaching out to people more. My 'reach out and connect' reflex has been out of use for a long while as I am sad to admit that I chose booze and numbing over friendship more often than I care to admit...well, regularly.
Good for you for connecting and having a lovely evening Even if the bleachers hurt your bum, it was getting cold and you are advancing in age.
So glad to read that you were able too get out for a bit and have some fun and friendship. Interestingly, when I read the sentence "Drinking me would not have been interested...", my first reaction was "awww. She's not that fun then?". Then I got to the part that the drinking you would have "preferred staying home with [your] wine after a long day at work"...I thought, oh my gosh! Choosing booze is choosing booze. I need to keep reaching out to people more. My 'reach out and connect' reflex has been out of use for a long while as I am sad to admit that I chose booze and numbing over friendship more often than I care to admit...well, regularly.
Good for you for connecting and having a lovely evening
Even if the bleachers hurt your bum, it was getting cold and you are advancing in age. ~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
maybe that AA friend did see you and you are the person who might get her sober again (just by being seen), who knows?
hugs and love sent to you. Know that this malady or whatever doesn't want us happy, joyous and free......
hugs and love sent to you. Know that this malady or whatever doesn't want us happy, joyous and free......
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
The Boys in the Bright White Sports Car were out to Raise a Little Hell on a Friday night? Awesome, Nuudawn. You are making new alcohol free experiences, and that is an important achievement. Well done.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Funny, our Fair started Wednesday and with 3 daughters it is a daily requirement til Sunday when it ends (we get the 5-day pass every year). 3 Doors Down played last night and they were great and it was a good family night. My wife has also been sober for 7 weeks and this is her hometown so the Fair was a challenge for us both. First day was dicey with the noise and crowds. Thursday was better and last night it was much easier to not notice the beer tents, Twisted Teas in stroller cup holders, and we were better at being around each other and half the county sober -just an easier flow to the whole night. Two days more of riding the same 5 kiddie rides with my almost-4yr-old daughter and hunting down the 11 and 12 yr. old when it gets late. Hectic but worth it.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
Oh my. . . I would choose booze over friends, family, fun events, sleeping, food. . .you name it, too. Isn't it wonderful being free of that bondage??? YAY for a great time with your friend. You rock!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: SoCal
Posts: 53
Sounds like a great sober Friday night! Last night (day 6 sober) was my first sober Friday night in ages and it feels so good to wake up this morning and not feel groggy or flu like. Congratulations on getting out and living life and not just existing with alcohol.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 234
Nudawn, I had a melancholy moment like that last Friday. I met up with my girlfriends for drinks and dinner. Another friend (former drinking buddy)showed up that I wasn't expecting to see. As we sat there in the sunshine I couldn't help but notice how very, very dark her teeth were from the red wine that she drinks all the time. She had also put on another 20 or so pounds over the last few months. Another lady and I sipped water, the two other ladies nursed one margarita for the two hours and my drinking buddy friend had two glasses of wine, which I am sure weren't her first.
Since I quit drinking I haven't hung out with my drinking buddy. She had texted me drunk a couple of time and urged me to come party with her. Both times I told her I was staying in and she told me I was being "boring." So I pretty much haven't heard from her since. Anyway, she had two glasses of wine, two of the ladies sipped their one margarita and another lady and I had water.
When we all got up to leave it was becoming a beautiful sunset. The group of us, still sober, split off and headed to our cars to go home. As I got into my car I looked over my shoulder and saw my drinking buddy heading to the corner bar to settle in for a night of drinking. I know, because on any other night that would have been me with her. I loved hanging out with her because I knew I could always drink as much as I wanted with her and never be judged. Of course, she was drinking right along with me.
Instead I enjoyed a beautiful sunset and a rainbow on my drive home. I marveled at how good it felt to be sober. I came home on a Friday night, made myself a cup of tea and went to bed early.
Since I quit drinking I haven't hung out with my drinking buddy. She had texted me drunk a couple of time and urged me to come party with her. Both times I told her I was staying in and she told me I was being "boring." So I pretty much haven't heard from her since. Anyway, she had two glasses of wine, two of the ladies sipped their one margarita and another lady and I had water.
When we all got up to leave it was becoming a beautiful sunset. The group of us, still sober, split off and headed to our cars to go home. As I got into my car I looked over my shoulder and saw my drinking buddy heading to the corner bar to settle in for a night of drinking. I know, because on any other night that would have been me with her. I loved hanging out with her because I knew I could always drink as much as I wanted with her and never be judged. Of course, she was drinking right along with me.
Instead I enjoyed a beautiful sunset and a rainbow on my drive home. I marveled at how good it felt to be sober. I came home on a Friday night, made myself a cup of tea and went to bed early.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Thanks all!
No Maire, it was a big ole blazin red can of Budweiser. No mistaking that for NA beer. And LeTheVerte..I wasn't all that much fun with my drinkin' in last few years. I'm going to be honest...even sober I had to drag myself out last night. I'm no social butterfly..far from it. I am far more of an introvert than extrovert..just a sometimes chatty one I guess. I still had to push myself to go out last night...and was so glad I did. I'm not used to stretching myself socially anymore. Not at all. Guess I never was..I was always "wine primed" for anything I did...evenings out, dates, etc.
And yes Freshstart that's exactly who. I left before they played either of those songs. The concert was delayed because of the rodeo and the bands took the stage like an hour later than expected. I was already yawning and when the guitar and drum solo's started going on forever...I bailed.
Thank you so much for sharing your Friday night experience Mindful. I could so see myself in your red wine friend. I always had "2 drinks" at dinner. I have worked the last two summers as a server in resort areas. Two drinks at dinner isn't that common. I'm actually surprised how little alcohol is ordered compared to what I THOUGHT. There are tons of folks who do not drink with meals. Okay ..breakfast is no surprise but ya...liquor consumption in restaurants (and resort restaurants at that) is nowhere near what my drinking self assumed...nowhere near. Tons of people just have water or soft drinks or coffee
No Maire, it was a big ole blazin red can of Budweiser. No mistaking that for NA beer. And LeTheVerte..I wasn't all that much fun with my drinkin' in last few years. I'm going to be honest...even sober I had to drag myself out last night. I'm no social butterfly..far from it. I am far more of an introvert than extrovert..just a sometimes chatty one I guess. I still had to push myself to go out last night...and was so glad I did. I'm not used to stretching myself socially anymore. Not at all. Guess I never was..I was always "wine primed" for anything I did...evenings out, dates, etc.
And yes Freshstart that's exactly who. I left before they played either of those songs. The concert was delayed because of the rodeo and the bands took the stage like an hour later than expected. I was already yawning and when the guitar and drum solo's started going on forever...I bailed.
Thank you so much for sharing your Friday night experience Mindful. I could so see myself in your red wine friend. I always had "2 drinks" at dinner. I have worked the last two summers as a server in resort areas. Two drinks at dinner isn't that common. I'm actually surprised how little alcohol is ordered compared to what I THOUGHT. There are tons of folks who do not drink with meals. Okay ..breakfast is no surprise but ya...liquor consumption in restaurants (and resort restaurants at that) is nowhere near what my drinking self assumed...nowhere near. Tons of people just have water or soft drinks or coffee
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 234
Got that Nudawn about how much people really drink. I have been living my life in a haze of self-delusion. It's funny I never have really considered myself an introvert but when I look back on my life, all of my socializing were all about drinking and getting high opportunities. What a bore without them, I thought. Unfortunately I started out with this attitude as a teenager and carried it throughout my adult life. I am not beating myself up over wasted decades but I certainly wonder what my life would look like now if I wasn't always looking for a buzz.
Now that I'm not drinking, I find that I am not spouting off my mouth with some funny quip (or so I think.) I am sitting back, listening, watching, and aware. And often finding that I would just rather be at home with a good book or on a hike. Maybe I am really an introvert with a little bit of social anxiety and low self esteem.
Now that I'm not drinking, I find that I am not spouting off my mouth with some funny quip (or so I think.) I am sitting back, listening, watching, and aware. And often finding that I would just rather be at home with a good book or on a hike. Maybe I am really an introvert with a little bit of social anxiety and low self esteem.
Last edited by Angel1555; 08-09-2014 at 09:10 AM. Reason: complete my thought
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by MindfulLiving 
Got that Nudawn about how much people really drink. I have been living my life in a haze of self-delusion. It's funny I never have really considered myself an introvert but when I look back on my life, all of my socializing were all about drinking and getting high opportunities. What a bore without them, I thought. Unfortunately I started out with this attitude as a teenager and carried it throughout my adult life. I am not beating myself up over wasted decades but I certainly wonder what my life would look like now if I wasn't always looking for a buzz.
Now that I'm not drinking, I find that I am not spouting off my mouth with some funny quip (or so I think.) I am sitting back, listening, watching, and aware. And often finding that I would just rather be at home with a good book or on a hike. Maybe I am really an introvert with a little bit of social anxiety and low self esteem.
Now that I'm not drinking, I find that I am not spouting off my mouth with some funny quip (or so I think.) I am sitting back, listening, watching, and aware. And often finding that I would just rather be at home with a good book or on a hike. Maybe I am really an introvert with a little bit of social anxiety and low self esteem.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Good job Nuudawn.
You comment about having to pull yourself out jumps out at me. I just started reading a book on the recommendation from my previous sponsor. Its called Mini Habits: Small Habits, Bigger Results by Stephen Guise. In short it says that the benefit is in the doing not the results.
In other words the firing neurotransmitters are achieved doing one push up vs if you do 30. However, if you procrastinate bc of the 30 then you fail to fire that neuron and risk breaking the habit. Set goals so low that you can follow through no matter what and then in most cases you will exceed the intended results, creating new pathways.
Anyhow, good book and good for you getting out, and great for staying sober!
You comment about having to pull yourself out jumps out at me. I just started reading a book on the recommendation from my previous sponsor. Its called Mini Habits: Small Habits, Bigger Results by Stephen Guise. In short it says that the benefit is in the doing not the results.
In other words the firing neurotransmitters are achieved doing one push up vs if you do 30. However, if you procrastinate bc of the 30 then you fail to fire that neuron and risk breaking the habit. Set goals so low that you can follow through no matter what and then in most cases you will exceed the intended results, creating new pathways.
Anyhow, good book and good for you getting out, and great for staying sober!
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i love reading about people who go out and try things and find out they can do it and be happy doing it without the booze
its the start i believe in how we grow
my sponsor would always tell me to enjoy this good feeling and put some of this good feeling it into the emotional bank ready for when i have a bad day
what he means is when a bad day hits i have to remember the good things i have enjoyed being sober so that i never forget them or get bogged down that my life is just going to be full of sadness or emptyness etc
so put some in the bank nu and enjoy it : )
its the start i believe in how we grow
my sponsor would always tell me to enjoy this good feeling and put some of this good feeling it into the emotional bank ready for when i have a bad day
what he means is when a bad day hits i have to remember the good things i have enjoyed being sober so that i never forget them or get bogged down that my life is just going to be full of sadness or emptyness etc
so put some in the bank nu and enjoy it : )
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