Blossom717

But I think ABF is drinking again. I'm not positive. Tuesday he picked a fight with me over me not texting him "good morning I love you" (wah wah) and said something about wanting to drink. I dropped it. Its out of my control, I know that.
That evening I saw the bottle of wine that was in a cabinet (only about 2 inches of it left) was empty and in the trash. I didn't say anything. He very well could have poured it out the drain but whats the point in asking? I let it go. After him complaining about not getting enough attention, he avoided me that whole night.
The next day the sitter told me she smelled beer on him the day before.

Then yesterday I get home and hes acting happy...Which I know should be good. But it was a kind of "lowered inhibitions" happy, does that make sense? Like buzz happy? I didn't say anything. Just went about my business.


I think he is drinking again but I won't say anything , I understand that it isn't any of my business. I am focusing on what makes me happy. I'm not saying I'm doing a good job of it though. He bought us season pass tickets to a local amusement park yesterday and I can't help but think he is doing it for a bad reason instead of a good one. I know that isn't how I should think, but its how I'm used to things working with him.

BUTTTT I won't say that to him. I will enjoy the park with our daughter. We are all going tomorrow and I'm sure she will keep me busy enough to not think about it.

Just had to put it down somewhere and out of my head....

Thumper

I'm sorry Blossom.

One day at a time.

dandylion

:horse:horse:horse: Weelll, Blossom. Good job on practicing detachment, on your part. Remembering that detachment is for you not to react to things that are just going to "backfire" on you--and cause chaos and anxiety for you.
However--if he is drinking...and it sure does sound like he is....that is your business--if you have made a boundary in your mind, or, verbally about it. If it affects you---it IS your business....in the sense that it is your responsibility to deal with those things that affect you. Doesn't his alcoholism affect you???
What I am saying is: He can do whatever he wants. Yes, that is his business. BUT, it is your business to take whatever reaction that you choose.
One just can't say that whatever another person does (their business)....is ok just because it is their business. If it is not o.k.--that has big implications for you.

Blossom....LOL....I don't want to beat a point to death (or preach to the choir).....but, I just wanted to try to clarify a subtle point that is often a stumbling block for some people.....
If I did beat the dead horse....I am sorry....

dandylion

Blossom717

Dandylion - I have made a boundary, I've said it to him and I keep telling it to myself. That I will move. This was the last shot. I was supposed to hear something from a lender yesterday about getting approved for a loan but I haven't heard back. Fingers crossed!

And yes...I realized to a certain extent that its my business, that I have to protect myself and my daughter from his lifestyle. But I'm trying to not react actually towards him. I don't want to argue with him over something that I can't control and he won't get help with. So I'm just twiddling my thumbs for now! lol

hopeful4

O Blossom, I am sorry. I am sure he is drinking, and it was only a matter of time.

Your right, you have to protect yourself and Baby Blossom, that is #1. I hope you hear from the lender and can move forward on your pretty little house.

Hugs, very tight hugs.

Stung

I'm so sorry Blossom. Sending you hugs. I hope you and your daughter have a blast tomorrow at the park!

Blossom717

Thank you stung! I hope we will. All three of us are going, I will remember to enjoy the good parts!

PS Have any of you ever said "I think hes drinking again" to a normie friend and then they ask you "well, how can you tell if he didn't have a drink in his hand?"

unsureoffuture

I am sorry Blossom. It sounds like he probably is drinking again. Otherwise why even touch the bottle of wine. Anyhow, as you said not your concern. I have been where you are. My AH is always "happy" when he thinks I dont know he is drinking and hiding it. Whenever he does though there are alwasy behaviors or bottles that confirm my suspicions. My gut is usually right. Hang in there and focus on your DD. More will be revealed of he did relapse.

hopeful4

ALL THE TIME!!! People were always amazed I could tell, but I could always tell. Fortunately for those people, they have not had to deal with an alcoholic or they too would understand.

Hugs XXX

WendyOR

The other side of those people at times also are drinkers themselves and are so involved in trying to cover it up that they don't pay attention to the others. I see that in my line of work a lot. You are right... We can tell...

NYCDoglvr

The point is what you want for your life. If you can accept his active alcoholism, then no problem. If you have a problem with it, it's time for YOU to make a change. Have you tried Alanon? It's made a huge difference in my recovery.